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I'm desperate!

Posted by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 8:53 AM
  • 16 Replies
So my ds father is current almost $15k and over 2yrs in arrears. We've been to court more times than I can count in the last 2 years. Finally in January the judge issued a bench warrant for non payment (he was placed on support probation in November '13)
I work full time sometimes 50hrs a week. I'm able to make ends meet but just barely. Things are really tough right now and while I'm sure it's only temporary even one payment will help greatly. My ds father doesn't help with anything-no pull-ups, preschool tuition, clothes not even Christmas or birthdays. So I'm at the point where I'm desperate. I don't know what else to do. I've contacted domestic relations and was told just to wait. But waiting has gotten us no where. My gas is ready to be shut off, my car is breaking down (which I need to take my ds to school so I can work) i even applied for fs until things work out. Any ideas on what I can do?
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by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 8:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Jenn8604
by Gold Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 8:59 AM
Sell stuff on eBay, take stuff to a pawn shop, because judges issue all sorts of junk for non payment and nothing ever happens and you never see that money. My ex hasn't paid in 5 years. He is in contempt of court. Which just means they added those words to a sheet of paper in the file concerning the case. If he hasn't been picked up on the bench warrant yet it means it was papers added to the file that's it. They just do stuff to appease the moms and Get them out of their court room.
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JakesMom712
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 9:04 AM
I was thinking of consigning my ds old clothes to get some cash to tide me over. You're so right, and I'm willing to go to the court and sit outside of the judges chambers everyday after work until there is some action taken. It's not like my ds father is a minimum wage employee and just can't make the payments, he just won't. And the dro even said it at the probation hearing. I just don't get it.

Quoting Jenn8604: Sell stuff on eBay, take stuff to a pawn shop, because judges issue all sorts of junk for non payment and nothing ever happens and you never see that money. My ex hasn't paid in 5 years. He is in contempt of court. Which just means they added those words to a sheet of paper in the file concerning the case. If he hasn't been picked up on the bench warrant yet it means it was papers added to the file that's it. They just do stuff to appease the moms and Get them out of their court room.
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happymommy1105
by Gold Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 9:08 AM
2 moms liked this
What else do you want them to do?

Honestly, stop looking to child support as a way to fix the problem. It's not coming. You are holding onto this instead of problem solving.

Sell the stuff your child and you no longer use. Garage sale!

Apply for childcare assistance, food stamps, Medicaid, etc.

Talk to local churches.

Cut back at home where you can.

Ask family for help.
JakesMom712
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 9:14 AM
1 mom liked this
I've applied for fs and the affordable care act. The problem here where I live seems to be that I'm employed. I know it makes no sense. But everywhere I turn I hear I make too much etc. i don't see why I should not expect cs. My ds was conceived by myself. Why should I just shut up and take it?

Quoting happymommy1105: What else do you want them to do?

Honestly, stop looking to child support as a way to fix the problem. It's not coming. You are holding onto this instead of problem solving.

Sell the stuff your child and you no longer use. Garage sale!

Apply for childcare assistance, food stamps, Medicaid, etc.

Talk to local churches.

Cut back at home where you can.

Ask family for help.
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bonitalilmama
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 9:17 AM
can you get a room mate to help out with bills, ssomeone you trust since you have a kid in the house and sell stuff on Craig's list to get cash asap.
happymommy1105
by Gold Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 9:20 AM
They have issued a bench warrant. They don't hunt you down for failure to pay child support, they juat don't. The next time he gets pulled over he will go to jail.

Why should you stop? Because you are wasting time and resources. This man will clearly sit his ass in jail before he pays. He doesn't give a shit. Accept it.

You have done all you can do on the cs front. It's time now to focus on the things you can control.

Can you move to a cheaper apt? Can you cut hours so you do qualify for assistance? Can you call the gas company and make payment arrangements? Can you babysit in the evenings to make it extra?


Quoting JakesMom712: I've applied for fs and the affordable care act. The problem here where I live seems to be that I'm employed. I know it makes no sense. But everywhere I turn I hear I make too much etc. i don't see why I should not expect cs. My ds was conceived by myself. Why should I just shut up and take it?

Quoting happymommy1105: What else do you want them to do?

Honestly, stop looking to child support as a way to fix the problem. It's not coming. You are holding onto this instead of problem solving.

Sell the stuff your child and you no longer use. Garage sale!

Apply for childcare assistance, food stamps, Medicaid, etc.

Talk to local churches.

Cut back at home where you can.

Ask family for help.
MadraJones
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 9:46 AM
1 mom liked this

OMG! Ive been there. Waiting on the courts is so hard. I sold anythign I didnt need, turned off my cable and quit eating out. I really saved more money than I thought by doing that. You can sell clothes you dont wear, toys, household accessories etc. FInd an online yard sale site in your area. I was spending more money that I thought I was once I really started to be aware. I also started my own business in a network marketing company. It was a gamble but I knew i had to do something. That business is what changed everything for me and my kids. I chose to not make any excuses. I stood tall and knew I had to be the one to care for my kids and not rely on anyone else. You can do it too. You have what it takes, deep inside. Stand tall. DO it for your kids. Life changes are choices and you have my support!! :) 

cjsmom1
by Platinum Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:31 AM

You can't depend on getting that money. If you get it you need to treat it as a surprise and as extra money. Can you move into a cheaper place? Can you get a roommate?

superdivamom727
by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:52 AM
Did they try taking away his drivers license? ??
LifeCafe42
by Nora on Mar. 30, 2014 at 12:13 PM
Child support is never something that should be counted on unfortunately.
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