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Child Support - Is it worth filing? *UPDATE*

Posted by on Apr. 1, 2014 at 1:32 PM
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1 mom liked this

I have a couple of questions regarding child support for any mamas who have filed. Here is my situation:

I have a 1 1/2 year old son, and his father has not had a "real" job since before Cyrus was born. When Cy was 4 months, he left Hawaii for 7 months to work on a "farm" in Humbolt, California, only to come home broke... still. After about 3 months, the guy he was working for finally agreed to pay him in "product". At this point I didn't care where he got the money, I just needed some. I was working full time (as I have always done), and it was still hard to make ends meet. A couple of weeks after getting his "product", he gave me $1000.00. He said that this money was to "hold him over" until he was able to get a place (Oh, did I mention he's never had a home since before Cy was born too?). This was the first time he'd ever given me money (with the exception of $10.00 once or twice). About a month later, I asked him if we could set something up at some point where he gave me a set amount of money a month. The number I gave him was approx. $500.00 to help cover all expenses. I brought him a list of things that I pay for including child care, food, diapers, wipes, etc. He flipped out and said that he's not paying me that much money a month. He said "I'll give you $200.00/month, and I have to think about the number". Living in Hawaii is expensive, and because of the fact that my mom (who is Cyrus' full time baby sitter while I work) lives here, I don't have the option to move at the current moment. I've paid for everything since the time that Cyrus was born (with the exception of the money stated above), and I'm not complaining. I just think that it's time that he contributes on a regular basis.

Things were looking up for a bit at about the time that he gave me the money, so 1 bad judgment call later, and bam... baby #2. I'm really not looking for any bashing, as trust me I do that to myself all day long, I just need advice about whether or not filing for child support is worth the fight that I know it's going to cause.

I'm just wondering if any mamas have filed for child support and were in a simaler situation? I've heard that if he doesn't have a "real" job, I'll get the minimum which in Hawaii I think is only $75.00/month. In addition to only getting enough money to buy 1 pack of diapers a month, I know that it is going to cause a huge fight with him. 

Sorry, I know that I am rambling. I'll stop now. :)


*UPDATE*


I called and I guess I started the process when Cy was born, but it never was finalized bc I didn't have his SSN & address. I asked her what happens after I get those things & they said that they send him a letter w/ forms to complete. I highly doubt that he will be willing to fill them out. I asked her what happens if he doesn't? She said that I may not get it. She said that without a job, if he doesn't fill out the papers (she said that they will "serve him", and try their hardest to get in contact with him) then I might not get anything. That was quite a let down. She also mentioned that once (if) he gets a job, being that he will provide his SSN, they can get me child support that way. Other than that, if he is non-compliant (which I'm 99% sure he'll be), we're screwed.

...awesome.

by on Apr. 1, 2014 at 1:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
wendythewriter
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 1:39 PM
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When I filed, my ex claimed he wasn't working, so they gave him income of $50 a day, or $250 a week. This got me $325 in child support per month, for 2 kids. I live in FL, so it might be different where you are. 

However, filing is a good idea anyway. It gets an order in place, so if he doesn't pay, he's in contempt and can get in trouble. Yes, it might cause a fight, but it puts legal documentation in play so that there's no arguing over the amount and he can't just stop paying and get away with it. It also gives you the ability to go back later, if/when he gets a job, and get it modified to get an increase if he makes more money, rather than starting from scratch. 

File. 

rachel216
by Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 1:44 PM
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Well i think you should talk to a lawyer who knows the laws of your state. I live here in IN so our state min is 50$...in my situation when my daughters dad doesn't have a real job they still quoted child support from.his last job. My personal thinking behind child support is a good idea. even if you don't get any money it's still good thing to file in case you need any state assistance. My ex didnt pay for a very long time but ended up getting disability and now i get a mntly amount
cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 2:31 PM
1 mom liked this

If he's not working then he will probably only have to pay the minimum amount. Is he the father of both kids?

Oliviasmom72
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 2:53 PM
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Filing if always good. You may not see a dime of it but at least file and ask for support, you deserve it. Let him rack up the arrears and have tax returns intercepted.

teapartydiva524
by Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 2:56 PM

When my ex and I first separated he got a new job and wasn't making much.  He told me one time all I would get is $50 so go for it.  I told him it was $50 more than I was getting now.  Things got better on my end (it helps to work for a family law attorney lol) and I hope they do for you too.  But I would absolutely file. 

NananRaysmom
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 4:26 PM
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My ex doesn't have taxable income..so I never filed. We agree on a small amount of child support..way less than I would get in court. But..he's very involved...and we have a good relationship..so I won't ever bother going to court. Not worth it to me.
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Apr. 1, 2014 at 4:36 PM

 Not for the small amount of change.

Flylady14
by Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 6:22 PM
2 moms liked this

I debated alot about child support. I had recently moved out of state and needed to wait to get a state driver license and he also threaten to take her for visitations ect. I am glad I did not listen. She is five now and he has never gone to court for visitation. File just because child support is the right of those children. They have a right to be support by both parents. Do not tell him. Just do it. I had to do it for the well being of my child who he created with me so why should he get to walk away from his responsiblity so easily. Ven if you don't get anything right away it is good to have it legally documented. Good luck! 

dawncs
by on Apr. 1, 2014 at 7:56 PM

 You can file for child support. They will probably give it based on minimum wage. However, based on my own knowledge that he will never change for working for cash. I know of a child support evader who went into his own cash only business of vending machines which screwed him really bad in retirement. He will keep doing it to future girlfriends who get pregnant. Things will come back to haunt him in the end when he has no savings in retirement or forced to quit working due to a workplace injury.

diaperstodating
by Angel on Apr. 1, 2014 at 7:59 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Oliviasmom72:

Filing if always good. You may not see a dime of it but at least file and ask for support, you deserve it. Let him rack up the arrears and have tax returns intercepted.

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