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Were you taught?

Posted by on Apr. 22, 2014 at 5:52 PM
  • 25 Replies
2 moms liked this

Were you ladies taught by your parent(s) to stand on your own two feet? Often times some of the posts on here sadden me because I see so many women that have gotten divorced or broken up with a boyfriend and have no idea how to deal now that he isn't around. Growing up I was always taught how to take care of myself. I've had break-ups but I have never wondered "what am I going to do" or anything along those lines when the relationship was said and done. I think it's okay to rely on your partner to an extent but to be completely dependant upon him is not the right thing to do in my opinion. I'm not a woman that has the "I don't need a man" mentality (my boyfriend is great and I do need him sometimes) BUT...depending completely on him for everything is something I will not do. If things ended between us today, I'd be okay with taking care of bills, my car, my kids, etc. because I've been on my own since I was 21.

I think all women need some sense of Independence because relationships and marriages aren't guaranteed to last. 

by on Apr. 22, 2014 at 5:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Apr. 22, 2014 at 5:55 PM
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 that is true but sometimes women agree to be a sahm only to find out down the line that their husband wasnt what she thought. it happens. being out of the workforce for awhile makes your resume less than stellar.

Nisha929
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2014 at 6:03 PM

I totally understand that but being a sahm doesn't mean that you shouldn't be able to take care of yourself if need be. That's really all I'm saying.  

Quoting faerie75:

 that is true but sometimes women agree to be a sahm only to find out down the line that their husband wasnt what she thought. it happens. being out of the workforce for awhile makes your resume less than stellar.

 

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Apr. 22, 2014 at 6:05 PM

 personally sure but financially is the issue. if you stayed home and had lets say 2 kids, 3 years apart. find out hubby is cheating w his secretary. youve lost 3 or more years in the work force, so it will be hard to find a self supporting job.

Quoting Nisha929:

I totally understand that but being a sahm doesn't mean that you shouldn't be able to take care of yourself if need be. That's really all I'm saying.  

Quoting faerie75:

 that is true but sometimes women agree to be a sahm only to find out down the line that their husband wasnt what she thought. it happens. being out of the workforce for awhile makes your resume less than stellar.

 

 

 
        
         

RalphsMommy123
by on Apr. 22, 2014 at 6:14 PM
1 mom liked this
My mom was a single mother for almost ten years. She had three of us and it was hard. At a young age I knew that I had to learn how to help mom out with things. It taught me how to talk care of my younger siblings when mom had to work. It also taught me independence. Its baffling how many women do not know how to be independent after a break up or divorce. I was taught to never depend on a man because you never know how long he'll be around.
Singlemama52
by on Apr. 22, 2014 at 6:16 PM
Yes, I wasn't worried after leaving his dad, even though I hadn't worked in almost 2 years.. I have a very well paying job now.
Nisha929
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2014 at 6:26 PM
1 mom liked this

Right and it wasn't a "go into your marriage/relationship preparing for the worst" type thing. It was just making sure that you'd be okay without him. Even if a boyfriend/husband passes away...a woman should still know how to take care of herself in the event that it happens. If you're a sahm and your husband gives you money...save some of it ya know. Idk maybe I was raised differently. 

Quoting RalphsMommy123: My mom was a single mother for almost ten years. She had three of us and it was hard. At a young age I knew that I had to learn how to help mom out with things. It taught me how to talk care of my younger siblings when mom had to work. It also taught me independence. Its baffling how many women do not know how to be independent after a break up or divorce. I was taught to never depend on a man because you never know how long he'll be around.

 

virginiamama71
by Carrie on Apr. 22, 2014 at 7:04 PM
3 moms liked this

 Yes I was taught this and also told when in need, come home, family will always be there.

mummyoftwins92
by Member on Apr. 22, 2014 at 7:05 PM
I was always taught independence but sometimes i still need that extra support

Quoting Nisha929:

Were you ladies taught by your parent(s) to stand on your own two feet? Often times some of the posts on here sadden me because I see so many women that have gotten divorced or broken up with a boyfriend and have no idea how to deal now that he isn't around. Growing up I was always taught how to take care of myself. I've had break-ups but I have never wondered "what am I going to do" or anything along those lines when the relationship was said and done. I think it's okay to rely on your partner to an extent but to be completely dependant upon him is not the right thing to do in my opinion. I'm not a woman that has the "I don't need a man" mentality (my boyfriend is great and I do need him sometimes) BUT...depending completely on him for everything is something I will not do. If things ended between us today, I'd be okay with taking care of bills, my car, my kids, etc. because I've been on my own since I was 21.


I think all women need some sense of Independence because relationships and marriages aren't guaranteed to last. 

virginiamama71
by Carrie on Apr. 22, 2014 at 7:12 PM

 I agree.

My mother was a homemaker and never had a job. My father use to give her money for the household expenses but she never spent all of it. They stayed married until he died and when my brothers were going to pay for the funeral she asked one of them to take her to the bank. She had thousands saved. They were married for 37 years.

 

A woman should always build her nest.wink mini

Quoting Nisha929:

 If you're a sahm and your husband gives you money...save some of it ya know. Idk maybe I was raised differently. 

 

 

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Apr. 22, 2014 at 8:07 PM
1 mom liked this

I have worked since I was 12, on my own since I was 17. I have always pulled myself up by my bootstraps so to speak. When my ex and I started having children he wanted me to be a sahm, not to mention working and paying for4 kids makes no sense if you are just working to pay childcare. Looking back I felt trapped and couldn't go anywhere. Which is where he wanted me. I got out and made it on my own again. It wasn't easy but because I had been self sufficient most of my life I cold do it.

I won't be a sahm mom again, even if I remary and my husband can support the both of us. I need the independence. My kids are a littl older tho, youngest is 9.

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