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UPDATE: my kids are getting a new step mom.

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 11:11 AM
  • 37 Replies
My kids father and I get along okay and on Christmas he found out he was having a baby and in March he told his family and me two weeks before she had the baby. About 3-4 weeks ago his mom told me they plan on getting married in May. He knows I don't feel comfortable with him having the kids alone but its not toThe point of me taking him to court and request that. I told him when he told me about the baby yhathat if he wants to move out of his parents i didn't care and was none of my business but the kids were to remain at his parents for all of visitation.

Here is where my issue is. He has now moved out and is living with his soon to be wife their son and her daughter. I have never met this girl and know nothing about her but that she hid an entire pregnancy until 3 months before she had the kid. I don't feel like my kids need to be drug into that. Am I being unreasonable? If need be I can give tons of examples of why I don't trust him but I just don't want to be the "bitch". I want what is besy for my kids and I know they need their dad which I support 100% but I just don't trust him...



UPDATE: I talked to his mom ans we both decided that the kids will remain at her house for a few months until we/I feel the kids are comfortable. She explained to me there is a lot of jealously between my kids and her daughter. My daughter and her fight like crazy. I said I had no problem with the kids going to their house during the day to play and slowly adjust. I just feel like throwing them into a life with another woman they don't know a newborn and another toddler they don't get along with plus a house they aren't familiar with is too much. The only place my kids have ever stayed the night is at his parents.(with exception of the two nights before my dad passed and they had to stay with my mom). With that being said I again just feel that is too much change at once.

Thank you to all the people that had positive and nice feedback. .
by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 11:11 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Mommy2Bri425
by Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 11:57 AM

 Can you give the reasons because it sounds like you are more against him having the kid(s) around this female. If that's honestlt the case, then you're going to just have to get over that because the man is already building with this woman. Are you still single?

Since 2010, my daughter has already had TWO SMs. Sucky thing is my daughter has been around both of them. But it is what it is. My child wasn't harmed or worse and that's all that matters to me. I can bet you that by 2016, she'll have another step-mom. She may not meet that one, though.

virginiamama71
by Carrie on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:06 PM

 Why don't you trust him?

NananRaysmom
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:12 PM
He is their father...unless you have a very good reason..there's no reason his kids can't stay with him and his new family.
BeccaWooten
by Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:34 PM
When the kids were about 4 months old my dad got lifeflighted and I needed a babysitter, he didn't have a job so I aked him to keep them. After banging on the door and his friend answering he finally woke up and couldn't stay awake to watch them. He couldn't hild his eyes open much less care for two four month old babies.

He packed up and moved 4 hours away with well known druggies. His mom agreed with me and said the kids would not be allowed to leave with him. About November of 2013 I showed up to his parents house to drop them off for visitation and he again was so messed up he couldn't hold his head up or open his eyes. I said then no more alone time for him. He has wrecked two vehicles in the last year.

Mid summer in 2013 he called me at 3 in the morning to tell me to tell the kids he loved them. He overdosed and thought "his heart exploded". (His exact words).

He has never bought the kids ANYTHING. His parents support him and buy diapers milk ect when they are there. He will even ask me to buy diapers for his visitation. He is working now so why do I need to?

He won't use his vehicle to bring them home because he thinks he shouldn't have to buy gas for that so he uses his parents truck for their transportation. And he can't stop wrecking his vehicle long enough to make a45 miminute drive in it.

If you need more examples I can continue lol

Quoting virginiamama71:

 Why don't you trust him?

BeccaWooten
by Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:35 PM
When the kids were about 4 months old my dad got lifeflighted and I needed a babysitter, he didn't have a job so I aked him to keep them. After banging on the door and his friend answering he finally woke up and couldn't stay awake to watch them. He couldn't hild his eyes open much less care for two four month old babies. 

He packed up and moved 4 hours away with well known druggies. His mom agreed with me and said the kids would not be allowed to leave with him. About November of 2013 I showed up to his parents house to drop them off for visitation and he again was so messed up he couldn't hold his head up or open his eyes. I said then no more alone time for him. He has wrecked two vehicles in the last year. 

Mid summer in 2013 he called me at 3 in the morning to tell me to tell the kids he loved them. He overdosed and thought "his heart exploded". (His exact words). 

He has never bought the kids ANYTHING. His parents support him and buy diapers milk ect when they are there. He will even ask me to buy diapers for his visitation. He is working now so why do I need to? 

He won't use his vehicle to bring them home because he thinks he shouldn't have to buy gas for that so he uses his parents truck for their transportation. And he can't stop wrecking his vehicle long enough to make a45 miminute drive in it. 

If you need more examples I can continue lol



Quoting Mommy2Bri425:

 Can you give the reasons because it sounds like you are more against him having the kid(s) around this female. If that's honestlt the case, then you're going to just have to get over that because the man is already building with this woman. Are you still single?


Since 2010, my daughter has already had TWO SMs. Sucky thing is my daughter has been around both of them. But it is what it is. My child wasn't harmed or worse and that's all that matters to me. I can bet you that by 2016, she'll have another step-mom. She may not meet that one, though.

virginiamama71
by Carrie on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:39 PM

 I would get to know the soon to be wife.

If she has chosen him either she is almost like him or she will be the one he may change his ways for.

Quoting BeccaWooten: When the kids were about 4 months old my dad got lifeflighted and I needed a babysitter, he didn't have a job so I aked him to keep them. After banging on the door and his friend answering he finally woke up and couldn't stay awake to watch them. He couldn't hild his eyes open much less care for two four month old babies. He packed up and moved 4 hours away with well known druggies. His mom agreed with me and said the kids would not be allowed to leave with him. About November of 2013 I showed up to his parents house to drop them off for visitation and he again was so messed up he couldn't hold his head up or open his eyes. I said then no more alone time for him. He has wrecked two vehicles in the last year. Mid summer in 2013 he called me at 3 in the morning to tell me to tell the kids he loved them. He overdosed and thought "his heart exploded". (His exact words). He has never bought the kids ANYTHING. His parents support him and buy diapers milk ect when they are there. He will even ask me to buy diapers for his visitation. He is working now so why do I need to? He won't use his vehicle to bring them home because he thinks he shouldn't have to buy gas for that so he uses his parents truck for their transportation. And he can't stop wrecking his vehicle long enough to make a45 miminute drive in it. If you need more examples I can continue lol
Quoting virginiamama71:

 Why don't you trust him?

 

BeccaWooten
by Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:42 PM
Her ex husband was super abusive and a dope head also....

Quoting virginiamama71:

 I would get to know the soon to be wife.


If she has chosen him either she is almost like him or she will be the one he may change his ways for.


Quoting BeccaWooten: When the kids were about 4 months old my dad got lifeflighted and I needed a babysitter, he didn't have a job so I aked him to keep them. After banging on the door and his friend answering he finally woke up and couldn't stay awake to watch them. He couldn't hild his eyes open much less care for two four month old babies. He packed up and moved 4 hours away with well known druggies. His mom agreed with me and said the kids would not be allowed to leave with him. About November of 2013 I showed up to his parents house to drop them off for visitation and he again was so messed up he couldn't hold his head up or open his eyes. I said then no more alone time for him. He has wrecked two vehicles in the last year. Mid summer in 2013 he called me at 3 in the morning to tell me to tell the kids he loved them. He overdosed and thought "his heart exploded". (His exact words). He has never bought the kids ANYTHING. His parents support him and buy diapers milk ect when they are there. He will even ask me to buy diapers for his visitation. He is working now so why do I need to? He won't use his vehicle to bring them home because he thinks he shouldn't have to buy gas for that so he uses his parents truck for their transportation. And he can't stop wrecking his vehicle long enough to make a45 miminute drive in it. If you need more examples I can continue lol
Quoting virginiamama71:

 Why don't you trust him?


 

virginiamama71
by Carrie on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:44 PM

 Sad...people usually stay with the same company. I hope something gets worked out

Quoting BeccaWooten: Her ex husband was super abusive and a dope head also....
Quoting virginiamama71:

 I would get to know the soon to be wife.

If she has chosen him either she is almost like him or she will be the one he may change his ways for.

Quoting BeccaWooten: When the kids were about 4 months old my dad got lifeflighted and I needed a babysitter, he didn't have a job so I aked him to keep them. After banging on the door and his friend answering he finally woke up and couldn't stay awake to watch them. He couldn't hild his eyes open much less care for two four month old babies. He packed up and moved 4 hours away with well known druggies. His mom agreed with me and said the kids would not be allowed to leave with him. About November of 2013 I showed up to his parents house to drop them off for visitation and he again was so messed up he couldn't hold his head up or open his eyes. I said then no more alone time for him. He has wrecked two vehicles in the last year. Mid summer in 2013 he called me at 3 in the morning to tell me to tell the kids he loved them. He overdosed and thought "his heart exploded". (His exact words). He has never bought the kids ANYTHING. His parents support him and buy diapers milk ect when they are there. He will even ask me to buy diapers for his visitation. He is working now so why do I need to? He won't use his vehicle to bring them home because he thinks he shouldn't have to buy gas for that so he uses his parents truck for their transportation. And he can't stop wrecking his vehicle long enough to make a45 miminute drive in it. If you need more examples I can continue lol
Quoting virginiamama71:

 Why don't you trust him?

 

 

brieri
by Platinum Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:56 PM

 Just say that the kids visitation still stands at the same place - his parents house if he still wants to visit.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 2:32 PM
1 mom liked this

 yes, you are. unless there ia a reason, you dont get to regulate where he has the children. he has abide by your desires up until now, but if this went to court, youd have to prove him unfit in some way in order to have the visits supervised. you will be told that his home is not your business. even if you tried for a "morality clause", well hes getting married in may so there ya go. also, according to HIM she "hid the pregnancy" i bet he knew and played it off. or else why would he be marrying her?

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