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What is normal communication?

Posted by on Apr. 29, 2014 at 4:09 PM
  • 18 Replies

How often does your child's Father communicate with the child. What is considered normal these days? What is considered lacking? What is your experience.

Mine is our child goes to visit her Father, who lives 5 hours away, once a month (his choice so I would lower child support). WHen she is with me he will sometimes go 3 weeks with no contact. He has used Skype once. He is not involved with her at 4k. I am not even sure if he knows she has been taking gymnastics for over a year. He never asks me about her or if he can help with anything.

What's yours like?

by on Apr. 29, 2014 at 4:09 PM
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by on Apr. 29, 2014 at 5:28 PM

sorry to hear all that.. but u r lucky..

my dd's father denied her while i was pregnant.. he told the neighbors that i was lying and was not pregnant..  he saw my dd at the peternity test and looked at her once and then sat as far away from her as he could get so he did not have to look at her.. then when peternity was established and he was the father he still tells ppl that he is not the father bc he did not understand the wording on the test results.. and he also thinks bc the test did not say 100 % the father, that he is not.. it said 99.99.. so he is stupid and my dd is better off not seeing him..

by on Apr. 29, 2014 at 6:03 PM
Stbx and I seperated back in Dec/Jan. in the beginning he saw the kids every Saturday/Sunday (depending on when he was in the area). He also called them every night by 7. Well then his girlfriend (he cheated on me ) must have gotten tired of him ignoring her so he stopped calling and is now only seeing the kids every other weekend. He is an OTR truck driver and his girlfriend just started driving, the every other weekend started when they teamed up. They also moved in together so they are together 24/7. He did say once summer is here he has to switch to 2 days every other week (not weekend), to me that is just another excuse for him to only see the kids in the evening.
by on Apr. 29, 2014 at 6:19 PM
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It has changed a lot over the last couple years. It went from calling a few times a week, to every couple of weeks, to nothing for a year. For the last 9 months though, he's back to calling a few times a week. No Skype/FaceTime, visiting or anything, just phone calls. Call lengths depend on the kids - when they're done talking, they just hang up . . . he doesn't ask questions or try to keep a conversation, so usually 2 minutes is about average when both kids talk.

by Carrie on Apr. 29, 2014 at 6:34 PM

 He calls or texts once a week on Fridays. My son will go overnight on friday till 4 on Saturday than again Saturday till 4 on Sunday.

If my son has other plans on the weekends he may not go overnight or he will go one night.

I do not know what they talk about it when they are together.

Whenever we talk it is when he calls to say do not cash the check or like last weekend he had a friend to visit and would not be around, or he cannot be at an activity for our son.

All of this is better for us. Too much talking is a waste of each other's time.

by Ruby Member on Apr. 29, 2014 at 6:56 PM

 my SO talks to his pretty much daily. my kids dad calls a time or two a week.

by Unique Yanique on Apr. 29, 2014 at 8:47 PM
My oldest son's dad wasn't involved for the first 6 years of his life, then he would call him every day. Then it went down to 4 to 5 times a week. Lately its been once or twice a month.
by on Apr. 29, 2014 at 8:47 PM

If he doesn't know what she is doing, and lack thereof, would think you as the mother who has custody and is concerned for the well being of your child wanting father know what types of activities she is in, some of the communication does have to come from you. I am on the same side as father and yet i am the mother and I was never given any input by the father to what our children were doing - but i had sneaky suspicions and I just didn't care to be there, 1) I could not contact him or the children, 2), I never knew the schedule. 

Now that my children are adults, I try to communicate to my children, but they want to stay away from me then that's their problem not mine. 

by Jessica on Apr. 29, 2014 at 9:25 PM
DD goes to her fathers every weekend. They only talk on Thursdays and she calls him to make sure hes coming to get her (she is 4)
I dont communate unless I need her a day during the weekend or if she is sick.
I dont ask for money (its garnished from his pays if the government actually knows where he is working at the time) I dont push anything either. A time will come where she is going to see who is her reliable parent and hes made his bed so I hope he enjoys laying in it.
by on Apr. 29, 2014 at 10:40 PM
DD hasn't heard from her father since Valentine's day when she called him. He sent a card for her birthday but didn't call her. In fact he hasn't called her since thanksgiving. She called him at Christmas.
He's got a bug up his @$$ since I called him out on his behavior. He's telling people that he's not allowed to call her when I never said that.
by on Apr. 29, 2014 at 11:25 PM
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Well, if I've learned one thing it's that I don't think there is a normal. lol.  My situation is an odd one but not a bad one.  My ex and I get along really well.  And I think it's that I've accepted the fact that he's going to be a part time dad.  We do parenting time at our agreement and he usually gets her once a week but doesn't always keep her overnight.  I let him know about all practices, games, conferences, etc. but he doesn't always show up.  However, we talk every day at least once.  He never asks to talk to our dd but he always asks about her.

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