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I don't know why I bother trying to talk to my mom about ANYTHING!!! *Edited*

Posted by on May. 4, 2014 at 9:07 AM
  • 30 Replies

Any time I have an issue and I call my mom to ask for advice I get "I don't know what to tell you sweetie..." WTF?! She's my mother when I have a genuine issue shouldn't she like at least rationalize or make something up that sounds good? Not just "I've got nothing for you..." In my head everything is Pass/Fail, Good/Bad, Right/Wrong. I HATE not knowing or not having a clue what to do. I'd just like a suggestion from someone about the pros/cons of the situation... It's just SOOO frustrating that the one person who should have my back is like "Nope, can't help ya!"


This is the problem:

I've been seeing this guy for about 4 months. I haven't met his kids yet (We're planning on Sunday if they aren't with their mom on Mother's day. She hasn't called to make plans yet). I haven't been to his place yet cuz he says it's dirty and wants it to be fabulous when I come so if I don't wanna go back to my dad's (where I'm living now) I don't have to... Cuz basically I'm doing the Cinderella thing here and he doesn't want me doing that at his house... We talk/text all the time and he sleeps over here 2/3 nights a week depending on the school schedule here cuz I share a room with my sister at the moment and if she has school I'm not kicking her out of her bed... Umm... I found out a week ago that he's separated not divorced like I thought and his ex doesn't live with him (which is kinda obvious since we're always talking and his kids know about me... and we talk on the phone occasionally.) IDK how to feel about that cuz it's a totally new situation for me. He said he didn't tell me the separated part 100% honestly before because he knew I wouldn't give him a real shot, which he's right about. He's got some current legal stuffs to take care of (nothing criminal or anything like that) then he's doing the "other legal matters" (divorce) after the first is finished ... I'm just super confused cuz I'm outta my depth on this one and my mom has kinda went through something sorta similar before and I just wanted something from her to make me feel okay... My Grama was able to put it in perspective a little but I wanted my mom to at least SOUND like she was on my side and understanding instead of changing the subject to how her work is effed up and how she has no help there and crap...She's always done that (changed whatever we're talking about into something about her) and I guess I'm just hoping she'll change. 

by on May. 4, 2014 at 9:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
virginiamama71
by Carrie on May. 4, 2014 at 9:37 AM
1 mom liked this

 I have said this to my cousin cause it always the same thing over and over and nothing changes for her no matter what anyone suggests to her.

Not sure about your situation but hope you find a way to work thru it.

Jenn8604
by on May. 4, 2014 at 9:43 AM
At least a honey I don't know, but you're smart I'm sure you can figure something out would be a little helpful. Because maybe she really has no clue. Unless she was a single mom too, she may not have a clue and not know what to tell you.
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mommy_2_be_2010
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2014 at 9:44 AM
My mom does it to me too
Mira_B
by Member on May. 4, 2014 at 9:50 AM

The situation is SUPER complicated. And IDK what to do 100% since my son is involved. I'm just looking for a nudge in the "right" direction... I mean even an "If I were you... I'd..." SOMETHING but IDK's just piss me off.

Mira_B
by Member on May. 4, 2014 at 9:52 AM

She wasn't technically a single mom til recently. She had my ex-stepdad til she left him a few years ago they were together for almost 18 years (I'm 25...) So it's not really that IDK

Quoting Jenn8604: At least a honey I don't know, but you're smart I'm sure you can figure something out would be a little helpful. Because maybe she really has no clue. Unless she was a single mom too, she may not have a clue and not know what to tell you.


prettyblueyes83
by on May. 4, 2014 at 11:09 AM

I totally feel you. Although I am 30 going on 31, and still go to to my mom sometimes for advice. Although she's almsot 70, her life experience has left her with no answers for her own and only daughter. Everytime I try to get her advice, she always says "I am not an expert". wtf? I never said you were an expert, I just want some words of wisdom!

I jsut wanted to say I totally feel you on this and yes it's very annoying and frustrating. i envy women whose moms actually give enough of a hoot to have some pearls of wisdom for their grown up child.

virginiamama71
by Carrie on May. 4, 2014 at 11:12 AM

 maybe you can talk to a friend or other family member about this.

Quoting Mira_B:

The situation is SUPER complicated. And IDK what to do 100% since my son is involved. I'm just looking for a nudge in the "right" direction... I mean even an "If I were you... I'd..." SOMETHING but IDK's just piss me off.

 

Mira_B
by Member on May. 4, 2014 at 11:28 AM

I've talked to my Grama about it and she helped some but IDK my mother is so cynical that anything good comes back with "Well... I wonder how long that will last..." SMH... 

Quoting virginiamama71:

 maybe you can talk to a friend or other family member about this.

Quoting Mira_B:

The situation is SUPER complicated. And IDK what to do 100% since my son is involved. I'm just looking for a nudge in the "right" direction... I mean even an "If I were you... I'd..." SOMETHING but IDK's just piss me off.



deltathree
by Gold Member on May. 4, 2014 at 12:45 PM

I hear ya - sorry....hugs.....

Mira_B
by Member on May. 4, 2014 at 3:05 PM
1 mom liked this

Thanks so much...

Quoting deltathree:

I hear ya - sorry....hugs.....


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