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Single Moms Single Moms

Does any of you ladies, still live together with their Ex-husband/ partner?

Posted by on May. 30, 2014 at 8:02 AM
  • 12 Replies

I consider myself " Married but living as a single mom" I will like to know how you guys make it work and do activities with the kids etc ?

My man is not in this marriage at all but just wanted kids and decieved me that he wanted a family life. We have two kids 3 yrs old and 1.3 years, i worry about divorce because i am still on maternity leave without any income, plus my kids are too small and their father can't care for their basic needs properly and he also work out of town often, leaving me with the kids 85% of the time to care for them.

He told me he doesnt have any love for me and will never do. I got so hurt by those words considering he has erection problem and cant last for 3 minutes durihng sex and i still stayed without cheating on him. He never want to do things together like a family, we speak only few words with each others and the last sex we had was since i concieved my second child .

I know i have to get a job to be finacially independent but this i can only do in september when my second child starts day care. i just need advice on how to live together for the kids sake until i get a job and a stable relationship and for my kids to get little older before divorcing him. I realised after those painful words that i have to move on because his not willing to work on this narriage as he prefer to live as a single parent.

by on May. 30, 2014 at 8:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
faerie75
by Ruby Member on May. 30, 2014 at 1:16 PM

 i dont, but my friend is still living w her husband and they are divorcing. she has trhee kids ages 7,5 and 4 and has sahm since she was pregnant w 5 year old. she has had trouble finding a job so she still lives there. they dont sleep together at all though. her husband works out of town a lot too (which is how he was able to cheat) so she has the kids most of the time. she does get irritated w him but is able to hold it in because she hates drama. it is hard but she is doing it. shes now thinking of going to school for some type of certification on short degree so she can be self sufficient.

Evereem
by Member on May. 30, 2014 at 2:14 PM

Thanks for your reply, your friends situation is similar to mine, we stopped sleeping in the same room before my second child was born, i was 8 months pregnant them and he choose to do things seperately all the time, i have suggested to him several times for us to do things as family but he kept backing off. So i decided to stop trying because it takes the two people involve to make a relationship work, he never shows affection, care or feeling even when i was pregnant .

And he wants us to pretend to his family that we are happy couple when we are not. I don't want to waste my life living in a loveless marriage. I need love and affection. So i told him today that since we have been living as single parents ,that is best we make it official today,so i can be free to date and him too without bringing our partners home or introducing them to our kids unless the relationship is serious that can lead to marriage or longterm partnership, as this will enable me to gradually start moving on by getting his consent without hurting anyone's feeling and putting the kids first. I can imagine that there will be times where we'll be irritated by each others, it already happens sometimes now but i hope that God helps me to ignore it and put my emotions away while i work on my goal.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on May. 31, 2014 at 1:27 AM
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Your kids are better off having you guys apart and happy than together and miserable
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Evereem
by Member on May. 31, 2014 at 4:20 AM


Quoting LifeCafe42: Your kids are better off having you guys apart and happy than together and miserable

I am not going to live with him permanently, this is until i get a stable job and emotionally stable , then i will move.

If i have money to pay for apartment and to care for myself and kids, i would move now . I know that our unhappiness will affect our kids and this is one of the reasons i want out because it is better to be a single parent and happy than to be together and unhappy.

LAMARQ
by Member on May. 31, 2014 at 7:35 AM

My ex :( and I lived that way for about a year. It was tough in the end but he's a decent guy and father so not too bad. If he didn't have a totally psychotic ex then I could have done it longer for our son who was just 2 then (now 7).

My ex now has a gf of about 5 years who has lived with her husband this whole time. They are "separated" but she has a daycare in the house and they are fighting over the house.

Best wishes to you. 

cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Jun. 1, 2014 at 12:33 AM
1 mom liked this

Have you thought about going to school for some kind of certification to make yourself more marketable when searching for a job?

Evereem
by Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 3:33 AM


Quoting cjsmom1:

Have you thought about going to school for some kind of certification to make yourself more marketable when searching for a job?

Yes, i plan on going back to school and working part-time, these will help me get independent.

Evereem
by Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 3:36 AM


Quoting LAMARQ:

My ex :( and I lived that way for about a year. It was tough in the end but he's a decent guy and father so not too bad. If he didn't have a totally psychotic ex then I could have done it longer for our son who was just 2 then (now 7).

My ex now has a gf of about 5 years who has lived with her husband this whole time. They are "separated" but she has a daycare in the house and they are fighting over the house.

Best wishes to you. 

There is no fighting or abuse in this marriage, there is just no love and we live like strangers with each others . No one is happy. Especially me.

LAMARQ
by Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 8:12 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Evereem:


Quoting LAMARQ:

My ex :( and I lived that way for about a year. It was tough in the end but he's a decent guy and father so not too bad. If he didn't have a totally psychotic ex then I could have done it longer for our son who was just 2 then (now 7).

My ex now has a gf of about 5 years who has lived with her husband this whole time. They are "separated" but she has a daycare in the house and they are fighting over the house.

Best wishes to you. 

There is no fighting or abuse in this marriage, there is just no love and we live like strangers with each others . No one is happy. Especially me.

That's how it was with my ex for a year.  Like I said, I could have done it much longer but he had 4 other kids from 2 other women (yeah I know) and one of the exes was just miserable and made life h*ll for us.  Try and stick it out as long as you can and gather some $$$ and get back to school.  Best wishes.

Callaly
by Jessica on Jun. 2, 2014 at 8:55 AM

 While you are there, just focus on working on yourself. Don't mind your ex. You deserve better, everyone deserves to be in a loving relationship and you didn't get that with him. Your kids also deserve to see you happy.

It won't be easy but it will be rewarding!

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