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Only Child-Am I a Bad Mom?

Posted by on May. 31, 2014 at 8:22 PM
  • 22 Replies

Hi, I am a single mom to a 5.5 yr old boy and lately, well not lately, for the past few years my son has been speaking of having a younger brother or sister. Lately, it has gotten worse. He cries over the thought of not having a brother/sister to play with. He spends time with his friends and then when its time for them or him to go home he cries. He has a little cousin on the way...due in 1 wk, but ofcourse the age difference between them doesnt help. Hes also involved in a lot of activities at school and in the community that allows him to play with other kids, its just the whole factor of him being at home and not having a kid to play with. I do play with him everyday, but I work and go to school and sometimes I just dont feel like playing for hours on end. One day I do plan on expanding on the family. I am not actively dating, last relationship ended in August and my mate had 3 daughters, 2 my sons age so they spent a lot of time together. I am not looking to get into another relationship for a while either. Has anyone else experienced this? If so how do you deal with it? I feel really selfish and almost like I let him down for not expanding on our little family sooner. Thanks for any advice.

by on May. 31, 2014 at 8:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Heath77
by on May. 31, 2014 at 8:51 PM
My son doesn't mind being an only child. Its me that feels guilty that he doesn't have a brother or sister. He would like me to have a baby, but he doesn't ask about it. I wish he had a sibling, but my relationship with my ex husband got bad after I had my son so I was not going to have another child with him. I wish I could adopt a foster child, but I had something happen a couple of years ago so I dont know if I'd be approved. I think when school gets out I will adopt a small dog. I think that will help. Its not a sibling, but my son will have a playmate. I work from home so I always wish my son had a sibling to play with.
Heath77
by on May. 31, 2014 at 8:55 PM
1 mom liked this
You're not selfish. My son is seven now, but he used to cry so much when he had to leave his friends. He is very social and people tell me its because hes an only child. My brother is a lot older than me and I felt like an only child most of my life especially when he left for college. I know it sounds bad, but I loved it. I always wanted to be an only child. Everyone is different though. He will be ok though. Sorry..I hope it gets better.
Jennyanne322
by Bronze Member on May. 31, 2014 at 8:59 PM
DS is almost 7 and has been begging for a little brother or sister for about 3 years now. I just tell him that maybe he will have one in a few years. My SO and I do want a child together, but I am insisting on being married first. I also don't want to have my next baby past the age of 32. If I hit 32 and there isn't a baby yet, my tubes are getting tied.
virginiamama71
by Carrie on May. 31, 2014 at 9:27 PM
2 moms liked this

 My son is 11 and has never asked for a sibling. He is outgoing and has alot of friends and cousins to build good relationships with.

At home and when we are out when it is just me and him we always find something to do to entertain each other.

MikaNTey314
by Member on May. 31, 2014 at 9:35 PM
1 mom liked this

 Hi, I got my son a kitten last year and that helped a little. But a cat cant play with toys and basketball with him. Now he wants a dog, but idk. I thought of adopting myself. But would need to finish school first. Thanks for your words.

Quoting Heath77: My son doesn't mind being an only child. Its me that feels guilty that he doesn't have a brother or sister. He would like me to have a baby, but he doesn't ask about it. I wish he had a sibling, but my relationship with my ex husband got bad after I had my son so I was not going to have another child with him. I wish I could adopt a foster child, but I had something happen a couple of years ago so I dont know if I'd be approved. I think when school gets out I will adopt a small dog. I think that will help. Its not a sibling, but my son will have a playmate. I work from home so I always wish my son had a sibling to play with.

 

MikaNTey314
by Member on May. 31, 2014 at 9:37 PM

 Hi, I feel the same way. I told myself if I didnt have another by 32 then it wasnt going to happen. And as of now I dont want to get into another realtionship until I am done with school which will be in 2 years and ill be turning 31 that year, so idlk theres a slim chance there because I will not have another child out of wedlock. Thanks for your words.

Quoting Jennyanne322: DS is almost 7 and has been begging for a little brother or sister for about 3 years now. I just tell him that maybe he will have one in a few years. My SO and I do want a child together, but I am insisting on being married first. I also don't want to have my next baby past the age of 32. If I hit 32 and there isn't a baby yet, my tubes are getting tied.

 

MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on May. 31, 2014 at 9:43 PM
1 mom liked this
My son is an only child too and he will sometimes cry that he wants siblings. He will also sometimes say "when you get married..." And talk about that. I'm not dating and I just graduated college (ceremony is in 2 weeks) and I'm starting my career. I need to get more financially stable and take care of us first. I've explained to my son how things happen for people to date then move forward and that he has to be patient. Things take time or may not happen the way we hope they do and that's okay.
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virginiamama71
by Carrie on May. 31, 2014 at 10:04 PM

 congratulations on your graduation.

Quoting MeeshMom: My son is an only child too and he will sometimes cry that he wants siblings. He will also sometimes say "when you get married..." And talk about that. I'm not dating and I just graduated college (ceremony is in 2 weeks) and I'm starting my career. I need to get more financially stable and take care of us first. I've explained to my son how things happen for people to date then move forward and that he has to be patient. Things take time or may not happen the way we hope they do and that's okay.

 

cjsmom1
by Platinum Member on Jun. 1, 2014 at 12:01 AM

My ds will be my only. He does have a half brother that's about to be two and seeing them together I knid of feel bad. Ds is nine, but he absolutely loves and dores his brother. His brother definitely looks at ds with admiration. I wish ds had a sibling closer in age, but a lot of that is also because he doesn't have any cousins his age either. It's a hard decision but I know only having one child was/is the right decision for me.

cjsmom1
by Platinum Member on Jun. 1, 2014 at 12:05 AM

 Congrats on finishing school

Quoting MeeshMom: My son is an only child too and he will sometimes cry that he wants siblings. He will also sometimes say "when you get married..." And talk about that. I'm not dating and I just graduated college (ceremony is in 2 weeks) and I'm starting my career. I need to get more financially stable and take care of us first. I've explained to my son how things happen for people to date then move forward and that he has to be patient. Things take time or may not happen the way we hope they do and that's okay.

 

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