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Online dating - Is it real dating?

Posted by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 12:24 AM
  • 11 Replies


Possibly odd question, would you consider online dating 'real'? By real I mean, would you expect the same thing you would expect from any other BF? ie. fidelity, etc. 

Or would you consider the rules more relaxed becuase it isn't the same as a flesh and blood man. 

by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 12:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MeeshMom
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 1:10 AM
2 moms liked this

 The objective of online dating is to go on a real live date and see if you are compatible. Initially no you wouldnt expect someone to be committed unless you both mutually felt it was going that route. The online part is just for meeting.

TaylorBaby
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 1:11 AM
That's how I met my bf. We've been together for 6 months now. I'm in love.
wendythewriter
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 7:58 AM

I think you may have a different definition of online dating than most people. You say it "isn't the same as a flesh and blood man", but it is. Online dating, as I know it and other people know it, is using a online dating site to find someone and then go on a real life date with that person. So he would be a flesh and blood man. 

And yes, I would expect the same from someone I met through online dating as I would from any other way. Which is why I don't generally do online dating, because too many men seem to think that it's not the same as meeting another way (meaning they're less honest, don't consider it a "real" relationship, etc.). I would expect honesty, fidelity, a progression of the relationship to eventual marriage assuming that we got along and decided to continue to see each other, etc. 

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 8:05 AM

I think the only difference I consider is how you meet. My expectations for anything else would be the same as if we met in person.

Callaly
by Jessica on Jun. 2, 2014 at 8:48 AM

 Online dating sites are normally used to meet singles in your local area and eventually meet in person, so there isn't really a difference. But if you meet someone online and have a relationship with them without meeting them... I am not sure that I would take that relationship too seriously.

Panditacjp
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 11:22 AM

Alright, back story. I know someone who has been dating a guy online for years (3 or so) - note they are on oposite sides of the country and have never met. Talk daily, skype and what not but haven't managed to get together physically in all that time. 

On the one hand they probably talk more than most couples that live together, but on the other on some levels it doesn't seem 'real' because for all you know they would be repulsed in person. That was what got me thinking about expectations. 

If someones BF had a girl online that he spoke to daily and intimately without meeting that would be considered cheating, right? I was just curious about others thoughts on the matter. 

Quoting wendythewriter:

I think you may have a different definition of online dating than most people. You say it "isn't the same as a flesh and blood man", but it is. Online dating, as I know it and other people know it, is using a online dating site to find someone and then go on a real life date with that person. So he would be a flesh and blood man. 

And yes, I would expect the same from someone I met through online dating as I would from any other way. Which is why I don't generally do online dating, because too many men seem to think that it's not the same as meeting another way (meaning they're less honest, don't consider it a "real" relationship, etc.). I would expect honesty, fidelity, a progression of the relationship to eventual marriage assuming that we got along and decided to continue to see each other, etc. 


wendythewriter
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 11:37 AM

Okay, well see, that would be a long distance relationship, the way I understand them. Although, having never met in person, I do think I'd have a little trouble defining that as a relationship at all. I feel you can't have a "relationship" if you've never met at least once. lol 

But, now that I see you mean what I know as a long distance relationship - my answer still stands. I would still expect the same level of honesty, trust, fidelity, etc. And if by intimately you mean phone sex or having very personal conversations that are better left in a relationship, then yes, I would consider it cheating if someone I was involved with (long distance or not) was talking to another girl intimately, even if he'd never actually met her in person.

Quoting Panditacjp:

Alright, back story. I know someone who has been dating a guy online for years (3 or so) - note they are on oposite sides of the country and have never met. Talk daily, skype and what not but haven't managed to get together physically in all that time. 

On the one hand they probably talk more than most couples that live together, but on the other on some levels it doesn't seem 'real' because for all you know they would be repulsed in person. That was what got me thinking about expectations. 

If someones BF had a girl online that he spoke to daily and intimately without meeting that would be considered cheating, right? I was just curious about others thoughts on the matter. 

Quoting wendythewriter:

I think you may have a different definition of online dating than most people. You say it "isn't the same as a flesh and blood man", but it is. Online dating, as I know it and other people know it, is using a online dating site to find someone and then go on a real life date with that person. So he would be a flesh and blood man. 

And yes, I would expect the same from someone I met through online dating as I would from any other way. Which is why I don't generally do online dating, because too many men seem to think that it's not the same as meeting another way (meaning they're less honest, don't consider it a "real" relationship, etc.). I would expect honesty, fidelity, a progression of the relationship to eventual marriage assuming that we got along and decided to continue to see each other, etc. 



Oliviasmom72
by Gold Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 2:57 PM

A solely online relationship, never meeting in person, is not a relationship at all. So no, dating rules do not apply. I think it is totally foolish to invest any time in a guy you are never going to meet or not meet for a long time.

Panditacjp
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 3:17 PM

True. I guess when I think long distance even that implied having met at least once! lol

Quoting wendythewriter:

Okay, well see, that would be a long distance relationship, the way I understand them. Although, having never met in person, I do think I'd have a little trouble defining that as a relationship at all. I feel you can't have a "relationship" if you've never met at least once. lol 

But, now that I see you mean what I know as a long distance relationship - my answer still stands. I would still expect the same level of honesty, trust, fidelity, etc. And if by intimately you mean phone sex or having very personal conversations that are better left in a relationship, then yes, I would consider it cheating if someone I was involved with (long distance or not) was talking to another girl intimately, even if he'd never actually met her in person.

Quoting Panditacjp:

Alright, back story. I know someone who has been dating a guy online for years (3 or so) - note they are on oposite sides of the country and have never met. Talk daily, skype and what not but haven't managed to get together physically in all that time. 

On the one hand they probably talk more than most couples that live together, but on the other on some levels it doesn't seem 'real' because for all you know they would be repulsed in person. That was what got me thinking about expectations. 

If someones BF had a girl online that he spoke to daily and intimately without meeting that would be considered cheating, right? I was just curious about others thoughts on the matter. 

Quoting wendythewriter:

I think you may have a different definition of online dating than most people. You say it "isn't the same as a flesh and blood man", but it is. Online dating, as I know it and other people know it, is using a online dating site to find someone and then go on a real life date with that person. So he would be a flesh and blood man. 

And yes, I would expect the same from someone I met through online dating as I would from any other way. Which is why I don't generally do online dating, because too many men seem to think that it's not the same as meeting another way (meaning they're less honest, don't consider it a "real" relationship, etc.). I would expect honesty, fidelity, a progression of the relationship to eventual marriage assuming that we got along and decided to continue to see each other, etc. 




cjsmom1
by Group Admin on Jun. 3, 2014 at 3:28 AM

I would expect the same thing as I would from any relationship. I think with online dating after talking to the person online you'd meet up with them and things would progress the same way as if you met them in person

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