BD is now requesting to have SO's phone number, place of employment, and address. Do I have to give BD this information? I honestly DO NOT feel comfortable giving BD this info, and I don't see the reason that he needs to have this information. He says it would be for "in case of any emergency", but why wouldn't he just call me?
He is a minipulator, and a liar. And personally SO and I are worried that if BD does get his info then he could possible get a restraining order against SO for made up reasons, like BD did to me a couple months ago.
SO does hang out/ watch DS for me on occasion, but it's mostly so they can bond and if I want/need to get other things done. I never go out of town and leave DS in the care of SO. ( If I did that, then BD would have a right to have SO's number, but I don't).
Their is nothing in the CO that states that I need to give him this information at all. It only states in the CO that if one parent cannot take his/her parenting time that the other parent gets ROFR. if that parent does not take ROFR then the other parent has to find care for the child and supply the other parent with the address and contact number in which the child would be cared at. This is the only reason that I have BD's gf's phone number. And honestly I know what she does for a living but I do not know her place of employment...
I think he's just wanting to gain more control or something...but that's just my opinion.
Just because I didn't state exactly what the CO states. it states that ROFR is only granted if the parent will not be able to care for the child for a certian amount of hours that leads to an over night. If i was unable to care for DS and wasn't going to be home for the whole night, then yes BD should have SO's phone number.
some questions for you ladies that did respond... So if you're saying that SO takes DS to his house for a couple hours I have to give BD his phone number? why, it's my parenting time and I'm allowing it. He's not caring for him at his house, he's taking him their for a couple hours because he builds race cars and DS likes to help.
also, my parents take DS sometimes during the day, BD doesn't have their number or address.
BD takes DS to his grandparents house, and they watch DS for him sometimes. I don't have their address or phone number.
I understand to a point where you are coming from, but I do not need to inform BD of everythng that we do, or where DS will be at all times unless someone is actually caring for him due to me being gone for an over night or days at a time.
Thank you everyone for all the responses and opinions. I have really thought about this and we are still not comfortable giving out SO's phone number. One thing I also forgot to mention is that in our current CO it actually states no phone contact (because he abused it previously) and to only communicate thru email. So we decided to just give BD SO's email address. Honestly their is no reason BD will ever have to contact SO, but just for his peace of mind we will give him that. Our CO is to every detail down to times and locatons where pick ups take place. The only time the 'time' might change is if BD wants to take DS during my time and I say yes, but pick up location is always the same.
If when we go to court in August he brings it up and the judge says we have to give the number then we will. But I think that an email should suffice. Honestly if BD decides to call to talk to DS he doesn't need to be calling SO, he can call my phone and if I am not with SO and DS then I can have DS call him back, as it states in the CO before bed time. (he used to call a million times to talk to DS, and when we are busy I don't answer, but always have DS call BD when we are not busy or before bed time).
Anyways, thank you. I appreciate it. I'm sure BD will eventually get SO's number but right now we are just not comfortable with it becuase of all the BS he's pulled. But we will give an email address, and it is linked to SO's phone.