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Welp, Hes back in jail.

Posted by on Jun. 4, 2014 at 7:59 AM
  • 11 Replies
Im talking about my son's father. He was such a cool person when we met. Idk what's going with him. Hes back in jail for burglary in the 1st degree. He had a weapon on him. Hes in the state of connecticut and if convicted the minimum sentence is 5 years. I want to completely cut him out of our lives but I know it wouldnt be good for my son. My son doesnt even know him, hes never seen him. We always kept contact through facebook but since he hasnt been on in a while I started to get suspicious. I looked him up on the inmate database site and sure enough he was there. I dont want to ever keep my son from his father but I dont want his bad actions around my son. If he does get convicted, I will cut him off. When he gets out and wants to see his son, I will leave that up to Xavier (my son) to decide. Im still not prepared for the "Where's my daddy" question. My son is only 16 months but I think about that everyday. Its something my mom hated. Even though I had a step father I would always ask the question. After while I was able to answer it myself.
by on Jun. 4, 2014 at 7:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Nisha929
by Bronze Member on Jun. 4, 2014 at 8:09 AM

Well him being in and out of jail is not good for your son. I mean he isn't in his life now so your son can't miss what he never had. Besides he's only 16 months old right now and things can change so worrying now about questions he can't ask yet is kind of pointless.  

RalphsMommy123
by on Jun. 4, 2014 at 8:12 AM
Yea your right. I dont know why im worried about it now but its always on my mind. I just feel bad for my son if his dad does go to jail. His father was making progress with me. And we were making plans for a visit. It sucks. He was such a nice and decent person when we met. Idk what happened for him to change.

Quoting Nisha929:

Well him being in and out of jail is not good for your son. I mean he isn't in his life now so your son can't miss what he never had. Besides he's only 16 months old right now and things can change so worrying now about questions he can't ask yet is kind of pointless.  

Nisha929
by Bronze Member on Jun. 4, 2014 at 8:16 AM
2 moms liked this

I understand but worrying about that now is gonna drive you crazy. I learned that sometimes the person we end up having kids with didn't change but was that way all the time. Either they were really good at hiding that bad side or we chose to ignore the signs. At this point I'd suggest that you just focus on being the best mom you can be to your son. I hope things work out for the best though.    

Quoting RalphsMommy123: Yea your right. I dont know why im worried about it now but its always on my mind. I just feel bad for my son if his dad does go to jail. His father was making progress with me. And we were making plans for a visit. It sucks. He was such a nice and decent person when we met. Idk what happened for him to change.
Quoting Nisha929:

Well him being in and out of jail is not good for your son. I mean he isn't in his life now so your son can't miss what he never had. Besides he's only 16 months old right now and things can change so worrying now about questions he can't ask yet is kind of pointless.  

 

Callaly
by Jessica on Jun. 4, 2014 at 11:27 AM

 Kids need role models and someone to look up to. I understand having the father of your child present in your childs life is important and I am the first to always push for that option... but when someone is in and out of jail and on a downwards spiral, they aren't someone to be a role model your son or someone for your son to look up too and at that point your child is better off without him.

virginiamama71
by Carrie on Jun. 5, 2014 at 10:50 PM

 It's sad.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jun. 5, 2014 at 11:27 PM
He is definitely not a good role model in a way your son is lucky not to have him be a disastrous role model. Kids do bad things they do timeouts in their rooms adult do bad things they go to jail for timeout
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MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on Jun. 6, 2014 at 12:23 AM
Read what you just said
I want to completely cut him out of our lives but I know it wouldnt be good for my son. My son doesnt even know him, hes never seen him.

Your son doesn't have his dad in his life or know who he is. Cut the contact now and move on. He's going to get locked up. You need to move on from that and focus on being a mom. You have no obligation to make contact or reply to your ex whatsoever. It's best for your son to distance from his father as much as possible.
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MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on Jun. 6, 2014 at 12:25 AM
And btw my sons dad just got arrested for his second DUI a few months ago. My son says he doesn't want to ever see his dad again. Not just for the arrest but he's a bad father. And his dad isn't even trying to see him or ask about him anyway. I don't engage him at all. I never contacted him to be involved at the start. He came into my sons life two years ago when he was 4. Bad mistake.
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Monsita
by Bronze Member on Jun. 6, 2014 at 5:02 AM
Hugs.

You will know what to do and say, when your son would asked about his DNA father.

Things happens for a reason. Maybe the reason is, your ex not being in your kids live, has nothing to do with you cutting him out. It has all to do with HIS OWN ACTIONS AND CHOICES.

Marie207
by Member on Jun. 6, 2014 at 6:02 AM

DDFFF

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