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can you???

Posted by on Jun. 7, 2014 at 7:23 AM
  • 7 Replies
How do you forgive? Do you let go and never forget? Or do you let go and forget? What techniques do you use to calm down, when you get upset and worked up? What helps?
by on Jun. 7, 2014 at 7:23 AM
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Replies (1-7):
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Jun. 7, 2014 at 9:10 AM
1 mom liked this

 A person has to first want to forgive and it starts with saying they want to let go. It's a process that takes time but once one knows and is active in wanting to forgive they can start the work.

We do not forget what the person did but as we go thru the process of forgiving we learn how to not let what happened always be a part of ourself.

MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on Jun. 7, 2014 at 5:46 PM
3 moms liked this
You forgive by not letting what the other person did control and define you. You allow yourself inner peace. You of course can't ever forget, that's unrealistic. Take those circumstances as learning experiences that will make you stronger and wiser.
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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jun. 7, 2014 at 11:20 PM
I'm a grudge holder so it takes a lot to forgive. You can't learn if you forget it's important to move on
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superdivamom727
by Bronze Member on Jun. 8, 2014 at 1:58 PM
I personally feel thats forgiveness starts with you !! You forgive your self first then you can forgive others !!! Me personally I feel forgiving yourself can be hard because you justify your feelings in which we have every right to feel what we feel but we don't always have to act on our feelings or emotions !! But im NOT GOD forgivng for me is hard depending on the type of situation and the person !!! I will forgive but I will never be around that person again !!! And no I will never forget !... hey thats just me !!!
Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Jun. 8, 2014 at 4:09 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm a firm believer in the idea that I don't want anyone having control over how I feel. Being angry at someone and holding a grudge against them doesn't really effect their life nearly as much as it effects mine. Being angry at them means that they continue to impact my life. I won't give them that power. After all, my being mad, unless I act out towards them, doesn't really punish them. It just means I'm using my energy there when I can use it more constructively somewhere else in my life.

Letting go of past hurts frees me in the end. It allows me to move forward with my life and enjoy the good in my life.

It's just not worth it to hold on to stuff the other person has probably already forgotten.
cshari2013
by Member on Jun. 8, 2014 at 4:23 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you this was so needed

Quoting Andrewsmom70: I'm a firm believer in the idea that I don't want anyone having control over how I feel. Being angry at someone and holding a grudge against them doesn't really effect their life nearly as much as it effects mine. Being angry at them means that they continue to impact my life. I won't give them that power. After all, my being mad, unless I act out towards them, doesn't really punish them. It just means I'm using my energy there when I can use it more constructively somewhere else in my life.

Letting go of past hurts frees me in the end. It allows me to move forward with my life and enjoy the good in my life.

It's just not worth it to hold on to stuff the other person has probably already forgotten.
cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Jun. 9, 2014 at 2:27 AM

You have to learn to forgive in order to be able to move on with a relationship. I never forget what the person did, but I learn not to bring it up because bringing up past issues won't help fix anything.

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