A person has to first want to forgive and it starts with saying they want to let go. It's a process that takes time but once one knows and is active in wanting to forgive they can start the work.
We do not forget what the person did but as we go thru the process of forgiving we learn how to not let what happened always be a part of ourself.
Quoting Andrewsmom70: I'm a firm believer in the idea that I don't want anyone having control over how I feel. Being angry at someone and holding a grudge against them doesn't really effect their life nearly as much as it effects mine. Being angry at them means that they continue to impact my life. I won't give them that power. After all, my being mad, unless I act out towards them, doesn't really punish them. It just means I'm using my energy there when I can use it more constructively somewhere else in my life.
Letting go of past hurts frees me in the end. It allows me to move forward with my life and enjoy the good in my life.
It's just not worth it to hold on to stuff the other person has probably already forgotten.
You have to learn to forgive in order to be able to move on with a relationship. I never forget what the person did, but I learn not to bring it up because bringing up past issues won't help fix anything.
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