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Custody & Visitation

Posted by on Jun. 23, 2014 at 8:53 PM
  • 47 Replies
1 mom liked this

This post is a place for us to share advice, questions and personal stories about child custody and visitation.

Here are some tips from the moms in this group:

  • Put children's needs first
  • Don't talk negatively about the other parent/minimize tension and agression
  • Pick your battles
  • Assure children that both parents love them
  • Be creative with visitation when it comes to friends, activities and holidays

travel

 

For more help:

Click here to see what Single Moms are discussing on the group today:
Let's Talk! Click here to see more posts...

Please share your best advice for those facing custody issues below!

 

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by on Jun. 23, 2014 at 8:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Ty3angels
by Member on Jun. 25, 2014 at 3:09 PM
2 moms liked this

My ex and I went through court when my son was just over a year, to try and settle custody and child support needs. We agreed that I was the sole provider (child lives with me), and he gets access every other weekend and pays x-amount of money for child support a month. my son is now 9 years old and it has worked for us. My ex and I have a pretty good relationship as I want my son to be apart of that and not have to pick sides or feel as though he is in the middle. My sons needs come first always.

Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Jun. 25, 2014 at 3:34 PM

That's great!  I'm glad you were able to work things out so that your son coms out the winner! :)

Quoting Ty3angels:

My ex and I went through court when my son was just over a year, to try and settle custody and child support needs. We agreed that I was the sole provider (child lives with me), and he gets access every other weekend and pays x-amount of money for child support a month. my son is now 9 years old and it has worked for us. My ex and I have a pretty good relationship as I want my son to be apart of that and not have to pick sides or feel as though he is in the middle. My sons needs come first always.


Ty3angels
by Member on Jun. 25, 2014 at 3:42 PM
1 mom liked this

It has been a long road but we are always working on it so our son doesn't suffer. we both try to be as accomodating as we can to the others schedule. it has worked for us and continues to work as best it can.

Jenn8604
by Gold Member on Jun. 25, 2014 at 3:49 PM
1 mom liked this
I never have to worry. My ex won't ever see him unless hell freezes over, and I don't mean Hell, Michigan.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 14, 2014 at 10:55 PM

My 2.5 yr old sons dad told me its time to split up.  It is his house, we are not married.  I (& my 2 daughters from previous marriage) have been living with him for 3yrs.  He has a lot of money & I do not.  I will have to move out into a smaller house because I will not be able to afford much.  He tells me that if I try to 'pull' something and get more than 50/50 custody he will hire the most expensive lawyer & fight me on it.  I am so sad to know soon I will not have my son with me all the time.  I am trying to be fair.  He works all the time, hunts, fishes & gambels 6 of 7 nights a week.  He tells me he wont do that in the future when he has our son.  I dont want to battle him & have a looong custody battle... it just feels so unfair that because he has money he will probably get what he wants... he is not a bad guy...just not ever there.  If he didnt want to put him to bed then why does he suddenly want to now?  My friends say its cuz he dont want to pay alot of child support.. .so I told him I didnt want his money.. but he still says he wants our son 50/50.  How do I become ok with this?  It is so hard.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 22, 2014 at 1:15 AM

My ex has been mia in my son's life since he was 2  and now that he is 14 he is trying to say he wants visits with him and my son said he does not want nothing to do with him, so ex leaves a letter in mailbox and it says he will take me to court blah, blah

kimberlylewis95
by New Member on Jul. 28, 2014 at 2:28 PM
I need to know if anyone knows the legalities regarding this situation. If my ex and I agree on visitation without going to court and it is a verbal communication regarding it but we never get it legally binding in a court hearing, would there be legal complications if I moved in a year or two to continue my eduaction? Could he object to it if there is no legally binding documents saying he has partial custody? I am planning to home school my daughter so a move would not threaten her schooling (though she is only 4 1/2 months and would likely not even actually be in kindergarten till a few years after we move). At the moment he is debating signing her over in an adoption to my boyfriend after we get married and the only reason he wants visitation is because he now has to pay child support. It's been a very rough pregnancy and first few months of her being here due to the off and on again decisions of if he even wants to be get dad. I need advice before I move on if he could ruin my plans of moving before I start planning everything out because if he can i know he will attempt to do so just to spite me for not getting the adoption done as quick as he wants due to a lack of money for legal fees.
Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Jul. 28, 2014 at 8:43 PM

Money doesn't necessarily mean he'll get what he wants.  The courts should decide things based on who has proven to be the better parent.

Quoting Anonymous:

My 2.5 yr old sons dad told me its time to split up.  It is his house, we are not married.  I (& my 2 daughters from previous marriage) have been living with him for 3yrs.  He has a lot of money & I do not.  I will have to move out into a smaller house because I will not be able to afford much.  He tells me that if I try to 'pull' something and get more than 50/50 custody he will hire the most expensive lawyer & fight me on it.  I am so sad to know soon I will not have my son with me all the time.  I am trying to be fair.  He works all the time, hunts, fishes & gambels 6 of 7 nights a week.  He tells me he wont do that in the future when he has our son.  I dont want to battle him & have a looong custody battle... it just feels so unfair that because he has money he will probably get what he wants... he is not a bad guy...just not ever there.  If he didnt want to put him to bed then why does he suddenly want to now?  My friends say its cuz he dont want to pay alot of child support.. .so I told him I didnt want his money.. but he still says he wants our son 50/50.  How do I become ok with this?  It is so hard.


Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Jul. 28, 2014 at 8:44 PM
1 mom liked this

I'd say let him take you to court.  He's been MIA and your son doesn't want a relationship with him.  At 14, with 12 years of no contact, I'd say the courts won't give him anything more than supervised visitation, if anything.

Quoting Anonymous:

My ex has been mia in my son's life since he was 2  and now that he is 14 he is trying to say he wants visits with him and my son said he does not want nothing to do with him, so ex leaves a letter in mailbox and it says he will take me to court blah, blah


Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Jul. 28, 2014 at 8:48 PM

Were you ever married?  Is he on the birth certificate?  Are there other reasons that he might want to sign away his rights?

Quoting kimberlylewis95: I need to know if anyone knows the legalities regarding this situation. If my ex and I agree on visitation without going to court and it is a verbal communication regarding it but we never get it legally binding in a court hearing, would there be legal complications if I moved in a year or two to continue my eduaction? Could he object to it if there is no legally binding documents saying he has partial custody? I am planning to home school my daughter so a move would not threaten her schooling (though she is only 4 1/2 months and would likely not even actually be in kindergarten till a few years after we move). At the moment he is debating signing her over in an adoption to my boyfriend after we get married and the only reason he wants visitation is because he now has to pay child support. It's been a very rough pregnancy and first few months of her being here due to the off and on again decisions of if he even wants to be get dad. I need advice before I move on if he could ruin my plans of moving before I start planning everything out because if he can i know he will attempt to do so just to spite me for not getting the adoption done as quick as he wants due to a lack of money for legal fees.


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