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Dating As a Single Mom

Posted by on Jun. 23, 2014 at 9:02 PM
  • 18 Replies

This post is a place for us to share advice, questions and personal stories about dating as a single mom.  

Here are some dating tips from the moms in this group:

  • Deciding when it is ok to start dating
  • Introducing the new "someone" to the kids
  • How long to wait before contacting potential partner after 1st date or meeting
  • Internet dating & singles events
  • Make dating fun

 in love

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Please share your best dating advice for single mom in the replies below!

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by on Jun. 23, 2014 at 9:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KRIZZ25
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i wish my heart would just stop.
Today at 7:04 PM
by Platinum Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 8:49 PM
3 moms liked this
dont date wasted of time..if the guy ask sexural ? from the beginning then thats all her is after..9 out 10 guy are just after that .
give it 6 monthes before u even talk about sex..u need to go on real dates ..make him be a man and open doors and all that stuff..
if u have red flags than dont go..and never judge anyone on what they look like or past issues.
zumbanerd
by Bronze Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 8:03 AM

I have a situation where I have a light relationship with someone (Guy A). We've been seeing each other more consistently since last April (met last November), I don't want to jeopardize what I have with him. But it's light and I'm pretty comfortable with it. But I recently met someone else (Guy B) and he's super serious right from the get go. But I really don't want that now. I'm comfortable around him but he doesn't spark me as much as the other guy. But Guy B is really into contacting me while Guy A does occasionally. Guy B wants to come over as much as possible, but I hold him back because there's no way I'm going to introduce anyone to my daughter until I'm ready to have a serious relationship and the feelings are mutual. Guy A is a couple of years older than me while Guy B is 12 years my junior. So I'm even more comfortable with Guy A because he behaves in a way that I'm used to. If I was 26 years old, Guy B would have been much more comfort zone. This pretty much shows how conflicted I feel internally. On one hand, I don't want to get too serious (but very passionate), but on the other hand I can find it soothing and comforting to have a serious relationship.

Should I bother giving Guy B a chance at all, or move on? How do I keep Guy A and keep the relationship not to be too serious or too light? Is there any way to have it in the middle? I really can't bear to not have Guy A. And I really don't know what that means for me exactly.

Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Jul. 31, 2014 at 8:13 AM
1 mom liked this

I think you answered it yourself when you said you can't bear to not have guy A.

Quoting zumbanerd:

I have a situation where I have a light relationship with someone (Guy A). We've been seeing each other more consistently since last April (met last November), I don't want to jeopardize what I have with him. But it's light and I'm pretty comfortable with it. But I recently met someone else (Guy B) and he's super serious right from the get go. But I really don't want that now. I'm comfortable around him but he doesn't spark me as much as the other guy. But Guy B is really into contacting me while Guy A does occasionally. Guy B wants to come over as much as possible, but I hold him back because there's no way I'm going to introduce anyone to my daughter until I'm ready to have a serious relationship and the feelings are mutual. Guy A is a couple of years older than me while Guy B is 12 years my junior. So I'm even more comfortable with Guy A because he behaves in a way that I'm used to. If I was 26 years old, Guy B would have been much more comfort zone. This pretty much shows how conflicted I feel internally. On one hand, I don't want to get too serious (but very passionate), but on the other hand I can find it soothing and comforting to have a serious relationship.

Should I bother giving Guy B a chance at all, or move on? How do I keep Guy A and keep the relationship not to be too serious or too light? Is there any way to have it in the middle? I really can't bear to not have Guy A. And I really don't know what that means for me exactly.


krisnkids
by Gold Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 8:22 AM
1 mom liked this

I would stop seeing guy B. 12 years is a rather large age difference, getting close to different generations. Him pushing to be around your child so soon would be a red flag for me.

Quoting zumbanerd:

I have a situation where I have a light relationship with someone (Guy A). We've been seeing each other more consistently since last April (met last November), I don't want to jeopardize what I have with him. But it's light and I'm pretty comfortable with it. But I recently met someone else (Guy B) and he's super serious right from the get go. But I really don't want that now. I'm comfortable around him but he doesn't spark me as much as the other guy. But Guy B is really into contacting me while Guy A does occasionally. Guy B wants to come over as much as possible, but I hold him back because there's no way I'm going to introduce anyone to my daughter until I'm ready to have a serious relationship and the feelings are mutual. Guy A is a couple of years older than me while Guy B is 12 years my junior. So I'm even more comfortable with Guy A because he behaves in a way that I'm used to. If I was 26 years old, Guy B would have been much more comfort zone. This pretty much shows how conflicted I feel internally. On one hand, I don't want to get too serious (but very passionate), but on the other hand I can find it soothing and comforting to have a serious relationship.

Should I bother giving Guy B a chance at all, or move on? How do I keep Guy A and keep the relationship not to be too serious or too light? Is there any way to have it in the middle? I really can't bear to not have Guy A. And I really don't know what that means for me exactly.


zumbanerd
by Bronze Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 9:51 AM

He's not pushing for himself to be around with my daughter per se, but more like he just wants to spend a lot of time with me and he doesn't understand how challenging it can be to date and have a child. And I'm not one to have my daughter babysat that often. I cherish the time that I have with her and she's my main priority (hence why Guy A is so much easier to deal with ... but at the same time I fear that he isn't that into me).

I'm always surprised to hear back from Guy A because of the little amount of interaction we have between the times we see each other. While Guy B, I'm concerned that his focus is a bit too much for me.

Quoting krisnkids:

I would stop seeing guy B. 12 years is a rather large age difference, getting close to different generations. Him pushing to be around your child so soon would be a red flag for me.

Quoting zumbanerd:

I have a situation where I have a light relationship with someone (Guy A). We've been seeing each other more consistently since last April (met last November), I don't want to jeopardize what I have with him. But it's light and I'm pretty comfortable with it. But I recently met someone else (Guy B) and he's super serious right from the get go. But I really don't want that now. I'm comfortable around him but he doesn't spark me as much as the other guy. But Guy B is really into contacting me while Guy A does occasionally. Guy B wants to come over as much as possible, but I hold him back because there's no way I'm going to introduce anyone to my daughter until I'm ready to have a serious relationship and the feelings are mutual. Guy A is a couple of years older than me while Guy B is 12 years my junior. So I'm even more comfortable with Guy A because he behaves in a way that I'm used to. If I was 26 years old, Guy B would have been much more comfort zone. This pretty much shows how conflicted I feel internally. On one hand, I don't want to get too serious (but very passionate), but on the other hand I can find it soothing and comforting to have a serious relationship.

Should I bother giving Guy B a chance at all, or move on? How do I keep Guy A and keep the relationship not to be too serious or too light? Is there any way to have it in the middle? I really can't bear to not have Guy A. And I really don't know what that means for me exactly.



mamalena137
by Bronze Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 11:50 AM
1 mom liked this

Thing is Guy B sounds like he's wanting to get serious and you're saying you want to keep it light. I think you should break it with Guy B. He's only going to get more attached and if you're not into him the way he's into you, he's going to get hurt bad.

RocknRoll.Rose
by Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 12:10 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't have any dating advice but I sure could use some. I've never really dated and I'm in a relationship for the first time. My kids knew him before I started dating him (he's a member of our church). I'm very uncomfortable with men so it has been very difficult to date. His kids are begging me to marry him and my oldest is begging me to marry him too. We've only been dating for almost 2 months, lol. My oldest wants a daddy and his kids want a mommy.
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zumbanerd
by Bronze Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 12:47 PM

I can understand how you feel. There is this dad that I met at LegoLand and we aren't into each other, we're just friends who have kids that play well together. He's separated from his wife and trying to cope with his situation. But my daughter wants us to marry so that she can have his son as her brother.

What is working for me is just telling her the truth of the situation. Two months is just too early to tell if marriage is going to happen or not, but it's really nice to know that they think so highly of him that they want the both of you to tie the knot. :)

Quoting RocknRoll.Rose: I don't have any dating advice but I sure could use some. I've never really dated and I'm in a relationship for the first time. My kids knew him before I started dating him (he's a member of our church). I'm very uncomfortable with men so it has been very difficult to date. His kids are begging me to marry him and my oldest is begging me to marry him too. We've only been dating for almost 2 months, lol. My oldest wants a daddy and his kids want a mommy.


zumbanerd
by Bronze Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 12:50 PM

You are right. And if I'm honest to myself about it, I wouldn't want the scenario in reverse. It's not fair to him as he is pretty much like the third fiddle (my daughter is first, Guy A is second) ;)

Quoting mamalena137:

Thing is Guy B sounds like he's wanting to get serious and you're saying you want to keep it light. I think you should break it with Guy B. He's only going to get more attached and if you're not into him the way he's into you, he's going to get hurt bad.


RocknRoll.Rose
by Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 1:39 PM
1 mom liked this
I just have issues with men so I'm taking it very very slow. I've talked to my oldest, several times and he still keeps teasing about it. He is old enough to understand but that doesn't stop him from wanting a dad.

Quoting zumbanerd:

I can understand how you feel. There is this dad that I met at LegoLand and we aren't into each other, we're just friends who have kids that play well together. He's separated from his wife and trying to cope with his situation. But my daughter wants us to marry so that she can have his son as her brother.

What is working for me is just telling her the truth of the situation. Two months is just too early to tell if marriage is going to happen or not, but it's really nice to know that they think so highly of him that they want the both of you to tie the knot. :)

Quoting RocknRoll.Rose: I don't have any dating advice but I sure could use some. I've never really dated and I'm in a relationship for the first time. My kids knew him before I started dating him (he's a member of our church). I'm very uncomfortable with men so it has been very difficult to date. His kids are begging me to marry him and my oldest is begging me to marry him too. We've only been dating for almost 2 months, lol. My oldest wants a daddy and his kids want a mommy.

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