by Suzee Skwiot
Hearing a baby coo his or her first word can make any parent a little emotional. But hearing them drop their first F-bomb or utter a curse word will make you downright lose it. Or applaud it. Either way, you'll be shocked the first time you hear your precious angel curse like a drunken' sailor. And unless you're a precious angel yourself, chances are that day will come a lot sooner than you think. (Hint: Guess where your kids are learning it?)
We asked moms to share their child's first swear word ...
- When she was around three years old, my daughter made up the 'Dammit Song.' Every word was dammit."
- "We pulled my son's first tooth and he said, 'Oh shit, I am bleeding!' I was very nice, but said that he could not say that word."
- "My daughter said, 'What the hell?' when she was around four. We'd just bought a new area rug and it wouldn't lay flat."
- "My son was four and the dog had an accident on the floor. I was pissed and looking for my husband to help with clean-up. As soon as he walked into the room, my son says in a pissed-off voice, 'Dad, where were you?! There is shit on the floor!' We couldn't help but laugh because it was just so funny that he was so serious."
- "My mom was stepping over a wooden baby gate and didn't quite raise her foot enough and tripped. My son goes running over, 'Oh, son of a bitch, Grandma! Are you okay?'" He was three and that was the one and only time he swore."
- "My hubby is a former Marine. Anyone that knows Marines know they have potty mouths. My daughter had been around his coworkers a few times and then I heard her calling her teddy bear a 'fucking bitch' in a whisper voice when she was about two."
- "My son was about two or so and we were walking through a parking lot. A car started backing out and almost hit us. My son shook his fist and yelled 'FUCKER, we are walking here!'"
- "We were driving and a guy cut us off and we had to slam on the brakes. My husband yells, 'Look at this, dick face!' In the backseat, my 3-year-old daughter was sitting with little pigtails and a pink dress holding a doll and we hear her squeaky little voice all innocent say, 'Who's a dick face, daddy?'"
- "My 3-year-old daughter called her dad a jackass when he put one of her shoes on the wrong foot."
- "My 4-year-old was at preshcool and they looked out the window and my son said, 'There goes the F#^king firetruck!' His teacher was an older German woman. She called me immediately. Laughing."
- "Our pastor gave my then five-year-old son a Tic Tac candy. He dropped it on the floor and said, 'Oh, shit.' I was mortified. Of all places he had to parrot my bad language, it had to be in church."
What was your child's first curse word?