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Should I give her his last name?

Posted by on Jul. 1, 2014 at 9:51 PM
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Help! Has any one gone through this before? I'm 20 & 35 week pregnant. I'm single & have been the whole time. My child's father and I were barely seeing each other long when I got pregnant and we are not "together." He texts me every now and then & he came to one ultrasound so it's not like he is completely out the picture. However, he doesn't try to help in any way. He says he "can't help a child who isn't here yet." I've bought and done everything. Changed my whole life while he still does as he pleases but I don't know whose last name to give her. He says he'll help once she gets her but he continuously break promises. What do I do? What's best for her?
by on Jul. 1, 2014 at 9:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
justbrittanyb
by New Member on Jul. 1, 2014 at 10:43 PM
I gave my daughter my last name since I figured it would make things easier down the road with school and whatnot. I divorced my ex right after she was born, we were separated for months before that and he has never met her due to his decision to turn into a drug addicted criminal.
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GoldenLinds
by Member on Jul. 1, 2014 at 10:52 PM
1 mom liked this
No. I wish I had given my son my last name and I was married! I knew my marriage was over but jow it just sucks. I hate having a different name from my child. And I wouldn't give a shadow of a father such a hold on my child. I shouldn't have to begin with. Just my two cents.
ANewMe0812
by Bronze Member on Jul. 2, 2014 at 9:25 AM
1 mom liked this

I would give your baby your last name. I should have done the same with my son but I was delusional in thinking his father and I were going to work out. It can always be changed to his last name down the road, if you really want to but this way if he keeps being a deadbeat, you don't have to bother.

KsAangel25
by on Jul. 2, 2014 at 11:31 AM
My last son has my last name. I chose to get pregnant, my responsibility
KREX0914
by on Jul. 2, 2014 at 12:01 PM

Give her YOUR  last name. It will save you trouble down the road. Trust me. I've been there before. Twice.

KREX0914
by on Jul. 2, 2014 at 12:04 PM

 I could have written this myself.

Quoting justbrittanyb: I gave my daughter my last name since I figured it would make things easier down the road with school and whatnot. I divorced my ex right after she was born, we were separated for months before that and he has never met her due to his decision to turn into a drug addicted criminal.

 

rachel216
by Member on Jul. 2, 2014 at 12:17 PM
Do not give the baby his last name...that was the worst mistake i have ever made!!
ivf_blessed
by Bronze Member on Jul. 2, 2014 at 1:02 PM

 Personally, if I were in that situation I would not give my DD his last name.  I probably wouldn't even put his name on the birth certificate but I'm not sure if that could affect you if you wanted to file for child support.

Jenn8604
by Silver Member on Jul. 2, 2014 at 1:08 PM
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Yours. Don't even add him to the bc. (I never did) Go to your local public aid office (where you can sign up for food stamps etc.) and ask about filing for child support (that's where I went) if they don't do it I'm sure they know where to send you for it.
Here in IL the man either admits its his or denies and the state pays for a DNA test. Once the DNA test says "YOU ARE THE FATHER!" It goes to court and it is ordered that his wages will be garnished for whatever % max your state allows to be garnished. GL!
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BaronSamedi
by Member on Jul. 2, 2014 at 1:14 PM
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  Use your name as it will be much easier down the road.  The mess that it would cause in school and record keeping is just horrendous.

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