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Loser

Posted by on Jul. 9, 2014 at 9:57 AM
  • 11 Replies

He's not comimg back and I have to accept that. I just don't know what to do with myself. I work and deal with my kids all week long. When the weekend comes along I am home with nothing to do. I love my kids, don't get me wrong, but I have nothing going on in my life. I am a total loser. All I do is sit and wish somehow he will come back. I know he won't. He doesn't love me anymore. I feel unlovable. Like I will die alone. Anyone else ever feel this way? How do I get out of this slump?


FYI- I am already in therapy.

by on Jul. 9, 2014 at 9:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Callaly
by Jessica on Jul. 9, 2014 at 10:10 AM

 I think your therapy will work to boost your confidance and work to get over him.

If he left, and isn't an active part of your kids life, seriously you can do way better!

ANewMe0812
by Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 10:28 AM

How long has this been going on? You have to give yourself time to grieve. I gave myself 2 weeks to get it together. In those 2 weeks, I ate what I wanted and cried as much as I wanted and gave in to whatever made me feel better about the situation so that I was able to get through it. But. I am now on week 3 and am forcing myself to do things just for me. Oh sure, there are moments that I just want to curl up in bed and be all mopey. However, it's time to move on. I have always found that if I force myself to do something fun, even if I didn't think it would be fun at the time, I ultimately ended up having a good time. Go to a movie, even if you go alone you will enjoy yourself. Meet up with friends. Join a book club. Whatever will get you out of the house and out of your head for a while. Eventually you will do something fun and forget all about wishing he would come back. You will meet new people who will make you feel loved. And you will enjoy being you and doing what you want to do. It's a beautiful journey of self-discovery. Love finds us when we are the best version of ourselves.

momstar36
by Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 10:47 AM

You may want to start a new interest/hobby that takes you outside the house. Like yoga, volunteering, nature walking/watching. Something to occupy your mind, body and spirit.

amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 1:15 PM

You're not a loser, you just need to find yourself again.  Find things to do that you enjoy, go out with friends, see a movie, develop a new hobby.

Frances0923
by Bronze Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 1:24 PM
1 mom liked this

You aren't a loser. Your'e wallowing thats all. You need some wine in your life :)

ivf_blessed
by Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 1:32 PM
1 mom liked this

((HUGS))

Is this guy your kids' Dad?  How long has he been gone?  Why do you sit at home all weekend long?  Are the kids with you or their Dad?  *I* might have missed an earlier post giving your back story so I apologize if I am asking q's you've already answered in another post.

If it hasn't been too long, cut yourself some slack and just take time to adjust.  Do you live close to family?  How about friends?  Do you attend church?  Are your kids involved in extracurricular activities?

I hope the therapy helps you to realize that you should not link your self worth to the way one person treats (or mistreats) you. 

 

ivf blessed
sid1083
by Silver Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 5:00 PM
1 mom liked this

Give yourself time to grieve the end of your relationship, but try to get back out to doing things (just you and your kids) on weekends. If you live in (or close to) town, try to get out to do as much free stuff as often as possible. I noticed that as I started taking my kids out more often, I felt better about myself - we were doing something together, and the kids had a lot more fun than just sitting at home.

superdivamom727
by Bronze Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 8:30 PM
1 mom liked this
I feel you I have had days like that but what helped me is just being around my son and family !!! Honestly just last weekend me and my son had a " mommy and me " date night lol ... we went to the park and then a mexican resturant and this hard working mama treated her self to a mango mararita and it was soooooo good !!!! and we shared a dish !!! It was fun ... I Also forgot how to have fun at one point ...but now i have to live a little lol and since I somtimes dont have a baby sitter I will take him with me and do kid friendly fun but make sure I have fun as well!!!

I was mad I couldnt order another margarita lol... if I did would have needed a designated driver LMAO !!! GIRL A GOOD MARGARITA CAN MAKE THE SADDEST PERSON HAPPY !!! Lol thats the original "HAPPY JUICE" !!! Get some and thank me lata LMAO !!!
One of these days this mama might the hit the club of course without my lil man !!!
mjhunter
by Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 11:49 PM

Was he abusive?  Does he tell you these things?  You're better than him and you're better with him gone.  Just keep reminding yourself that.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jul. 9, 2014 at 11:51 PM
Ending a relationship is a grieving process in it's own. There are other fishes better ones!
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