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Dream shattering due to sons father. Help!

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2014 at 10:17 AM
  • 21 Replies
For most of my life I have dreamed of moving to South Carolina. The plan was always to go after finishing college to teach and I made this known to everyone, especially those I dated. Unfortunately I ended up pregnant my senior year. I ended up staying an extra year to work and try to save money. My sons father ended up being a totally loser with no motivation in life so we split. He still knew I was planning to move and had told me many times to go for it along with watching our son once for interviews. Now I have an opportunity to work there making $5000 more than I could here and it took it and didn't go into contract for another year here. When I told my sons father this though he decided now he won't let me go... He is going to take me to court and put a hold on my ability to leave the state with my son.
I have posted about my sons father multiple times and I know he won't get much- he's never around, no job, no car, lives at home, has 2 dui's in the last 4 months, and hasn't ever paid child support on time.
But he can still take me to court and cause my life hell. I need to leave in the next 3 weeks for the job and there's no way the court proceedings will be over. To add to that I have very little saved due to me paying for everything for my son and I.
I don't know what to do and I'm so scared. I have no job left here now and no money today to leave. I am trying to put a plan together but I need help. Anyone have advice?
I haven't heard from the courts he has filed anything, but he's telling me he is and I know if he did the courts may get ahold of me any day.
Oh and please no comments on I shouldn't have gotten pregnant or I should have used protection (we did it failed).
by on Jul. 12, 2014 at 10:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Jul. 12, 2014 at 11:56 AM
8 moms liked this

 I would still go and tell him you will see him in court. He sounds like someone who talks to much but does nothing.

rachel216
by Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 12:26 PM
2 moms liked this
Id try and get a lawyer! I dont see why a judge would make you stay when he has no relationship with his son in the first place
quickbooksworm
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 12:48 PM
1 mom liked this
I'd get a lawyer... But I don't see why a judge would make you stay if he has no relationship with his child and doesn't support him financially. If you have any texts or emails talking about your move with your ex, make sure they are saved.
aj23
by Amanda on Jul. 12, 2014 at 4:36 PM
If you have no court order that requires you to stay then leave now before he can even get a temporary one.
If you can prove the move would be better for you and your child and be willing to ensure he has contact and visits with his dad then you shouldn't have a problem leaving.
Document everything. Save every text, email and receipt because you never know what may help.
Nutball3
by Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 5:22 PM
2 moms liked this
This. Also each state has a case search type website. Check it and see if he actually filed something or if he's full of crap.

Either way move before you get served.


Quoting aj23: If you have no court order that requires you to stay then leave now before he can even get a temporary one.
If you can prove the move would be better for you and your child and be willing to ensure he has contact and visits with his dad then you shouldn't have a problem leaving.
Document everything. Save every text, email and receipt because you never know what may help.
arkmomma06
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 6:14 PM
Could he be just blowing smoke to control what you do? Men can be such pains.
MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 8:46 PM
I don't think you should be opening your mouth telling him these things. It's not his business and yes he may use it against you somehow. You need legal counsel. Stand your ground. Good luck.
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harleigh07
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 8:54 PM
1 mom liked this
Don't tell him when you have to leave. I would just go. Make sure tho when you do move to give all contact info to bd. If he does try to take you to court after you move then he can but since you can provide better in the other state they wouldn't force you to come back.
woodstock525
by on Jul. 13, 2014 at 12:09 AM

Is there a CO for visitation?  If so, then yes you should make sure to have your legal ducks in a row before leaving the state.  If you go anyway, yes, there is a chance that he could take you to court and that the court could order you to return the child to the state where you are now living or relinquish custody to the biodad.  If he files nothing and there is no CO for custody/visitation and you move, once you've established residency in the new state (varies by state), you can file with the courts for a custody/visitation order and to have your child support order moved to that state.

If you do have a current CO, do you have any family that can help you out financially with attorney fees?  That might be one way to take care of things though realize still that you are correct that you may possibly need to return for court dates in order to take care of things.  And, don't be surprised if the court does approve of your move out of state, if they require you to pay for the child's transportation to/from visits to their father...because you are the one moving away.

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 8:24 AM

What does your court order say about moving? Specifically.

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