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Some many issues...need advice

Posted by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 8:54 AM
  • 19 Replies

I do hope you all can help. 


I got divorced about 5 years ago and my ex and I have done a pretty good job raising our son together.  I have always felt we got along better divorced thenw we did married.  That was until he got serious and then married to my sons new stepmom Megan.  They both believe that being a step mother is the same as being a mother and I do not agree.  They feel that Megan should be involved in every aspect of raising my son and I don't agree. 


The latest is that my ex deployed yesterday for at least 8 weeks.  Through every deployment he has always given me child support.  (we don't usually do child support since we split time evenly).  This time he has refused to give me child support since I refuse to keep the even time split with his wife.  I feel that while he is gone my son should remain with me.  Am I wrong to feel this way?  Please help!!

by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 8:54 AM
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Replies (1-10):
krisnkids
by Gold Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 8:58 AM

I don't think so. What does the court order say?

booscomputer
by Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 10:10 AM
2 moms liked this

Your child has one mother and one father -- that is all.  Megan needs to mind her own business.  Your DD's father should be the disciplinarian, not Megan and Megan should not have any input into the raising of your daughter.  If your child is rude to Megan, then Megan should speak to her husband and he should work it out with his child.  Sorry -- that stuff really bothers me.  Stepmothers who think kids should call them any form of "mom" need to have their own kids.

Callaly
by Jessica on Jul. 17, 2014 at 10:34 AM
1 mom liked this

 Its great that your ex found a person that has interest in your child, but she needs to step back with the parenting roles ect.. a step parent should be more like an aunt/uncle, meaning they know what is going on, but they don't have much say in how to handle it.

You need to tell this to your ex and make it clear, if not then you need to go to court and get it in writing that CS will be paid while your ex is deployed as child care is not split seperately.

OvrMyHead
by Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 10:38 AM
2 moms liked this

How old is your DS?  Visitation is for the parents, not the stepparents.  If DS is old enough to want to visit with SM for a day or for a few hours while your ex is deployed and you are OK with it then that would be OK.  But SM has no visitation rights.

Smiley0881
by New Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 10:54 AM

I'm so glad I'm not crazy...I was beggining to think I was the one in the wrong!

OvrMyHead
by Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 10:59 AM

No, you are not wrong.  It is great though that SM cares so much about your DS.  Really, that can be a good thing.  I would not be mean or discourage a relationship with SM.  However, she doesn't get visitation.  I would just be nice and let your DH know that your DS goes to his house to see his DAD.  You are happy that SM is so good to DS but he'll be back to visit when his DAD is home.  In the meantime, DAD can skype.  This is not about SM, its about your DS and his DAD.

Quoting Smiley0881:

I'm so glad I'm not crazy...I was beggining to think I was the one in the wrong!


Married, CSM to SD14 & SS12, CBM to DS12 & DD9

Frances0923
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:38 AM
1 mom liked this

No you are not wrong. I think you should take it to court if you guys are unable to come into an agreement. ExDH and I do not have court arrange custody nor do I have him on childsupport. It has worked out for the last 5 years but if anything hanges I will definitely go to the courts.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 17, 2014 at 1:25 PM

She can't take it to count. In her state court say visitaion stays the same when dad is deployed. So going to court doesn't help. 

Quoting Callaly:

 Its great that your ex found a person that has interest in your child, but she needs to step back with the parenting roles ect.. a step parent should be more like an aunt/uncle, meaning they know what is going on, but they don't have much say in how to handle it.

You need to tell this to your ex and make it clear, if not then you need to go to court and get it in writing that CS will be paid while your ex is deployed as child care is not split seperately.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 17, 2014 at 2:11 PM

YEAY!  HEAR THIS JUDGES???!!  TOTALLY AGREE.  STMOM WAS NOT TO BE A MOM TO MY CHILDREN.  SEND THE (BLANK) TO MY HOUSE IMMEDIATELY SO I CAN HAVE A GOOD TALK WITH HIM!   

THANKS GALS.

NOTE:  Not yelling at any of you moms here.  It's a long drive to see 3 Judges. 

Callaly
by Jessica on Jul. 17, 2014 at 3:03 PM

 If a situation changes then you can always go back to court, hell if you aren't happy with what the courts said the first time you could always go back.

Quoting Anonymous:

She can't take it to count. In her state court say visitaion stays the same when dad is deployed. So going to court doesn't help. 

Quoting Callaly:

 Its great that your ex found a person that has interest in your child, but she needs to step back with the parenting roles ect.. a step parent should be more like an aunt/uncle, meaning they know what is going on, but they don't have much say in how to handle it.

You need to tell this to your ex and make it clear, if not then you need to go to court and get it in writing that CS will be paid while your ex is deployed as child care is not split seperately.

 

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