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Am I wrong for keeping a secret?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies

My ex-husband paid for my 3 teenagers phones for 3 years.  He wouldn't upgrade them and he bought the cheapest, crappiest phones he could find.  My daughter's quit working about 2 months ago.  My son's quit a week ago.  He just bought an old (but not horrible) flip phone for him.  And even though hers broke long ago, he has no intention of replacing my daughter's phone.  She said it was because he "doesn't give a crap" about her "and he never did".  Sadly, she's pretty accurate on that one.  My oldest son used to be the only important child to him.  

So get this, a few months ago he told me he could no longer afford to pay for HIS 3 teens' phones anymore because he pays for his step-childrens' smartphones.  He doesn't see anything wrong with this because he's not the one that got them their smartphones.

This leads us to the secret.  I added 3 new lines to my account and got them new smartphones with new phone numbers.  My teens decided (without my input) that they didn't want their father to know their phone numbers so he doesn't even know they have new phones.  He never sees them and really has nothing to do with them.  His current wife won't let him because she wants him to "father" her children from various different men.  

A dear friend of mine (who is as a VERY GOOD counselor) thinks we should tell him so we are not keeping a secret.  I told her they didn't want him to be able to call them.  She said we could just block his phone number.  I think that would do more damage than than good.

Advice? 

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 18, 2014 at 7:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 18, 2014 at 7:12 PM
4 moms liked this

 I say if they don't want him having their phone numbers then don't give it to him.

otoole
by Bronze Member on Jul. 18, 2014 at 7:45 PM
3 moms liked this
Why would she say to do that? At the end of the day he clearly doesn't give to much of a shit about his own kids so why does it matter if you keep things from him. It's not a secret it's just with holding info. Plus your kids will be upset if you give him their numbers when they said they don't want him having it. They're old enough to know what they want. Let them give him their numbers if they want too
wendythewriter
by Bronze Member on Jul. 18, 2014 at 7:56 PM
2 moms liked this

If they don't want him to have their phone numbers, that should be their choice. Yes, you could just block his number, but then it becomes a big issue, when this way, it's a nonissue. Why make it an issue when it can be a nonissue? Just seems silly to me to create an issue just to avoid keeping secrets. If they had a good relationship with him, I might feel differently - but if they had a good relationship with him, then they wouldn't want to keep this secret. 

cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 1:36 AM

If they don't want him to have their number then I wouldn't give it to him

Nisha929
by Bronze Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 7:32 AM
1 mom liked this

Lol and smh. These silly ass anonymous posts are irritating.  

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 9:22 AM
He can't pay for it then fine. Give him back the broken phones and be done with it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 20, 2014 at 9:39 AM

As long as he has your phone number (which is a way to contact them via phone), I don't think you are legally doing anything wrong...

ausomezombie2.0
by Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 9:41 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

 I say if they don't want him having their phone numbers then don't give it to him.

2ninos4me
by on Jul. 20, 2014 at 9:49 AM
They're old enough to NOT want that pos in their lives or contact them ....

Is not like their missing out on a great dad ..

Dumb consulor
MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 11:55 AM
They are teenagers with a shit father. I'd support their decision to not share their new numbers with him.
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