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Bf thinks son is a tyrant?!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies
Been dating a guy for almost a year. Things have been great. The last two months I noticed he hardly spends the night. I asked him about it today. He stated he was a bit uncomfortable being at my place. Reason? He doesn't appreciate my four year old being a tyrant but it's none of his business. Do he just chooses to not come over. My son is not a saint but he isn't a misbehaved child. This is a boy who is used to having mom all to himself, gets no attention from his dad and wants attention from bf. When bf comes over he does get overly excited and I swear bring out all his toys and wants to talk every five minutes. It doesn't bother me. He is excited. I told bf that was a deal breaker. His son isn't a saint, but it's not my place to comment. He thinks I need to be more stern with him. I think I am. One problem is son's father isn't very consistent in his life. Comes and goes. And last few months this I think has affected him. He has my best friend and brother as a male role model. But the in and out of his dad, that's another issue. I don't think I can deal w/a bf who is uncomfortable around my child. This is the second time my child has come up in this matter, he doesn't want my walk to walk all over me. I didn't agree the first time. Don't agree now.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 20, 2014 at 3:19 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 20, 2014 at 3:28 AM
1 mom liked this
Deal breaker. If he doesn't want to be in your son's life after a year, why keep dating? could you ever see yourself marrying someone who isn't into your kid as well?
Nisha929
by Bronze Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 7:28 AM
1 mom liked this

In my opinion you've made a lot of excuses for why your son behaves the way he does and that is the first problem. I get that dad is inconsistent but does that really excuse his behavior? It shouldn't. Its up to you to parent your child and teach him how to behave at home and in public. If after a year...you're getting upset because your boyfriend gave you HIS honest OPINION...then yeah, you all should probably call it quits. You can't be mad at him for expressing how he feels. He might actually be right but as a parent its sometimes hard for us to see how others view our children.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 20, 2014 at 8:59 AM
Nope

Quoting Anonymous: Deal breaker. If he doesn't want to be in your son's life after a year, why keep dating? could you ever see yourself marrying someone who isn't into your kid as well?
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 20, 2014 at 9:01 AM
Hi. The reason I included explanations is because those are things that will be asked. I'm not an I'm-your-friend parent. I have rules and he has to follow them. The has chores. If he gets in trouble and/or acts out I reprimand him and explain why. He isn't spoiled.

Quoting Nisha929:

In my opinion you've made a lot of excuses for why your son behaves the way he does and that is the first problem. I get that dad is inconsistent but does that really excuse his behavior? It shouldn't. Its up to you to parent your child and teach him how to behave at home and in public. If after a year...you're getting upset because your boyfriend gave you HIS honest OPINION...then yeah, you all should probably call it quits. You can't be mad at him for expressing how he feels. He might actually be right but as a parent its sometimes hard for us to see how others view our children.

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 9:20 AM
Ask a trusted friend or family member what they think about your son's behavior. Ask them to be flat out honest about it.
Shy_Dia
by Silver Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 10:04 AM
I agree about asking others their opion about your son's behavior... and even bf's honestly. WHY is he a tyrant? I know my ex's mom cannot stand when a child comes up and interrupts an adult conversation. Is that why? Or is it something deeper, that bf only wants time with you and your mini-me is getting in the way?


Oddly, I've never had that problem. I will say when mine came over (when we were dating) I felt like it was competition time. Lol ds fell in love with him the first day they met! It was basically they spend hrs together, then after bedtime, I'd finally get to spend time with him. Still like that- ex is coming over today and we won't be able to talk until ds goes to bed. But that's his father figure, we both understand how much he needs this time with him
ANewMe0812
by Bronze Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 10:25 AM
1 mom liked this
If it really is a behavior issue, thats something that should be addressed. I can't be with someone who doesn't love my son, no matter the reason.
MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 11:51 AM
Yeah that's a big deal breaker. I couldn't date someone who didn't want to be involved with my child. I wouldn't expect him to replace his absent father, but children deserve respect too. I'd fully involve myself if I dated someone with kids also.
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Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 2:04 PM
1 mom liked this

Total deal breaker. He obviously doesnt want to be around the kid. It does not matter what excuse or so called behavior issues he says your son has. What a shame. Your son comes first. End it.

Baby5678
by Member on Jul. 21, 2014 at 6:15 AM

later dude

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