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Step Parent

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:59 AM
  • 17 Replies

 This is steming from a post I saw in another group.

How long after being with someone would you consider yourself a step parent to their child? Or after being with someone would you consider them a step parent to your child?

Do you have to be married for this to happen? What if you never plan to remarry but they have been in the childs life for a long time?

 

by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 9:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lightoftheworld
by Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:19 AM
I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. We live together and I consider him my kids' stepfather. We're planning on getting married next year.
Callaly
by Jessica on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:27 AM

 Does he consider himself a step parent? How old are your kids?

Quoting lightoftheworld: I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. We live together and I consider him my kids' stepfather. We're planning on getting married next year.

 

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:34 AM

My bf's dd has referred to me as step-mom (jokingly of course) for months. My oldest calls bf "pappy" just to mess with him. The kids refer to eachother jokingly as step-siblings. Again, our relationships are different because we were friends first and that I used to be assistant coach for the girls' soccer team.

I won't consider myself a step-parent until I marry. For others who choose not to marry I think if the 'family' is living together then they are step-parents.

Callaly
by Jessica on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:43 AM

 SO introduces DD as his step daughter. I think that eventually when she gets it she will too because he has been around for so many years

Quoting krisnkids:

My bf's dd has referred to me as step-mom (jokingly of course) for months. My oldest calls bf "pappy" just to mess with him. The kids refer to eachother jokingly as step-siblings. Again, our relationships are different because we were friends first and that I used to be assistant coach for the girls' soccer team.

I won't consider myself a step-parent until I marry. For others who choose not to marry I think if the 'family' is living together then they are step-parents.

 

Nisha929
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:44 AM

My boyfriend and I have been together almost two years. He loves our kids and they love him but I don't consider him a step-parent and neither do the kids. To them he's their daddy and I view him the same way. Our daughter doesn't call him daddy but our son does. He tells the kids all the time that they are not his step-children but his children. He's made it clear to me that no matter what happens between him and I...he'll always continue being there for his kids (his words...not mine).

My mom married my dad (he isnt me and my sisters bio dad) over 10 years ago and he has never referred to my sister and I as his step-children and we don't refer to him as our step-dad. We're his daughters and he's our dad...plain and simple. 

Honestly the whole "step" thing bothers me.

Callaly
by Jessica on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:49 AM

 I think step parent is probably used more in situations for when the childrens bio parents are involved in a childs life so the title step parent can commend the husbands/wifes/girlfriends/boyfriends in some way. I have no problem with it.

Quoting Nisha929:

My boyfriend and I have been together almost two years. He loves our kids and they love him but I don't consider him a step-parent and neither do the kids. To them he's their daddy and I view him the same way. Our daughter doesn't call him daddy but our son does. He tells the kids all the time that they are not his step-children but his children. He's made it clear to me that no matter what happens between him and I...he'll always continue being there for his kids (his words...not mine).

My mom married my dad (he isnt me and my sisters bio dad) over 10 years ago and he has never referred to my sister and I as his step-children and we don't refer to him as our step-dad. We're his daughters and he's our dad...plain and simple. 

Honestly the whole "step" thing bothers me.

 

Nisha929
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:56 AM

To each their own but it's not for us.     

Quoting Callaly:

 I think step parent is probably used more in situations for when the childrens bio parents are involved in a childs life so the title step parent can commend the husbands/wifes/girlfriends/boyfriends in some way. I have no problem with it.

Quoting Nisha929:

My boyfriend and I have been together almost two years. He loves our kids and they love him but I don't consider him a step-parent and neither do the kids. To them he's their daddy and I view him the same way. Our daughter doesn't call him daddy but our son does. He tells the kids all the time that they are not his step-children but his children. He's made it clear to me that no matter what happens between him and I...he'll always continue being there for his kids (his words...not mine).

My mom married my dad (he isnt me and my sisters bio dad) over 10 years ago and he has never referred to my sister and I as his step-children and we don't refer to him as our step-dad. We're his daughters and he's our dad...plain and simple. 

Honestly the whole "step" thing bothers me.

 

 

Callaly
by Jessica on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:01 AM

 

For the sake of a friendly debate.

If your childrens father was active and a constant in their life.. how would that have been handled?

Quoting Nisha929:

To each their own but it's not for us.     

Quoting Callaly:

 I think step parent is probably used more in situations for when the childrens bio parents are involved in a childs life so the title step parent can commend the husbands/wifes/girlfriends/boyfriends in some way. I have no problem with it.

Quoting Nisha929:

My boyfriend and I have been together almost two years. He loves our kids and they love him but I don't consider him a step-parent and neither do the kids. To them he's their daddy and I view him the same way. Our daughter doesn't call him daddy but our son does. He tells the kids all the time that they are not his step-children but his children. He's made it clear to me that no matter what happens between him and I...he'll always continue being there for his kids (his words...not mine).

My mom married my dad (he isnt me and my sisters bio dad) over 10 years ago and he has never referred to my sister and I as his step-children and we don't refer to him as our step-dad. We're his daughters and he's our dad...plain and simple. 

Honestly the whole "step" thing bothers me.

 

 

 

grneyedormom
by Kendra on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:14 AM
My daughter refers to her dad's gf and her daughter as her step-parent and step-sister but I don't and don't call them that in conversation with her or anyone else. But if it makes it easier for her to explain the relationship I don't stop her.
Nisha929
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:15 AM

If their bio father was active and a constant in their lives, I'm not sure if they'd view my boyfriend the way they do now. However, if he was and they did but still chose to see my boyfriend as their dad too...I'd be okay with that. My son wasn't made to call my boyfriend daddy. He started that on his own and if he chose to do that even with bio dad being in the picture...I'd be okay with that. They know who their bio father is and that he is their father. They also know that of the two men...my boyfriend is the one that is active in their lives which is why they see him as their father. My daughter is 14 and the last time she referred to their bio dad as daddy was when she was about two years old. My son knows him but has never referred to him as daddy. How my children feel about my boyfriend is all them and has nothing to do with me. I didn't force them to like or love him and I definitely didn't force them to view him as their dad. Did I answer your question? :)   

Quoting Callaly:

 

For the sake of a friendly debate.

If your childrens father was active and a constant in their life.. how would that have been handled?

Quoting Nisha929:

To each their own but it's not for us.     

Quoting Callaly:

 I think step parent is probably used more in situations for when the childrens bio parents are involved in a childs life so the title step parent can commend the husbands/wifes/girlfriends/boyfriends in some way. I have no problem with it.

Quoting Nisha929:

My boyfriend and I have been together almost two years. He loves our kids and they love him but I don't consider him a step-parent and neither do the kids. To them he's their daddy and I view him the same way. Our daughter doesn't call him daddy but our son does. He tells the kids all the time that they are not his step-children but his children. He's made it clear to me that no matter what happens between him and I...he'll always continue being there for his kids (his words...not mine).

My mom married my dad (he isnt me and my sisters bio dad) over 10 years ago and he has never referred to my sister and I as his step-children and we don't refer to him as our step-dad. We're his daughters and he's our dad...plain and simple. 

Honestly the whole "step" thing bothers me.

 

 

 

 

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