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When Is It "OK" To Have Boyfriend/Girlfriend Sleepovers?

Posted by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 12:13 PM
  • 30 Replies

 

Poll

Question: How long do you think one should be in a relationship before having a sleepover with the child(ren)?

Options:

3 to 6 months

6 to 9 months

1 year

Over a year

Other (please explain)


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 38

View Results

How long do you think one should be in a relationship before having a sleepover with the child(ren)?

****My situation - we live in two separate towns an hour apart. If he lived in the same town, I wouldn't be thinking about having sleepovers with him and my child.

by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 12:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Callaly
by Jessica on Jul. 24, 2014 at 12:31 PM
2 moms liked this

 I think that it really depends depending on different situations.

How old is the child? Has the boyfriend/girlfriend made a connection with the child? Is the relationship progressing? Is it a confirmed relationship or still casual/not sure where its going?

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 1:27 PM
1 mom liked this

I voted 1 year, but let me explain.

I don't think that in normal relationships that the new bf should be introduced to the kids until dating for 6 months. So any 'sleepovers' prior to 6 months would be too early. Then kids need to get to know bf before they wake up to him in the kitchen kind of thing.

Again, that's normal relationships. My bf's and my relationship has been backwards from day 1, we've been dating by ourselves for 8 months, family dating for 11 months. We went on our first family vacation in June, which was the first time we had stayed overnight together with kids.

Nisha929
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 1:51 PM
3 moms liked this

If he spends the night...make sure your child is in bed and sleeping before he (boyfriend) goes into your bedroom. Make sure he's gone in the morning before your child wakes up. It's nice to get the opinions of others but you have to do what you feel is best for you.  

sarahmiamaria
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 4:24 PM
7 moms liked this

I would not have a bf sleep in my bed with me (maybe he could crash on the couch) until we were engaged or married. I dont want them to see me with someone like that unless its as "for sure" as I can have it.

Tashia07
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 8:44 PM

I voted for over year, but it is really based on the seriousness of your relationship!

I don't really date to often, and I don't want my son see a lot of people coming in and out of my life. My six year really isn't ready to share me with anyone else, with the exception of his god father. He wants me to marry him.

In the past I dated for about three or more months before my son even meets them. So for me it would probably be just over a year,

mama.grey
by Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 8:57 PM
I voted other. Because every situation is different. If the child has met the bf/gf and is well aware that they will be staying it's up to the parent. If the child doesn't know the bf/gf then meeting them in the morning randomly in the kitchen isn't going to be good. But I also think a good relationship should be established between the adults before the child meets the significant other. Both adults need to be on the same page about the relationship.
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squeekers
by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 9:15 PM

totally my own opinion: if mixed gender kids plan on sleeping over under the same roof, they better be married young adults.

mjhunter
by Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 10:59 PM

That would never work in my house.  My kids still wake some in the middle of the night and come in....lol. 

 

Quoting Nisha929:

If he spends the night...make sure your child is in bed and sleeping before he (boyfriend) goes into your bedroom. Make sure he's gone in the morning before your child wakes up. It's nice to get the opinions of others but you have to do what you feel is best for you.  

 

CampClan
by Bronze Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 4:23 AM
I have been seeing my BF for 7 months & we have yet to have a sleepover at my place. However, I do have some older/teen kids. So I need to be an example for them (& the younger ones).

Now I have slept over at his place when I was without kids for an evening (his kids live with their mom). And just this past week my 2 youngest & I slept over at his place only because I was taking care of his kids & needed to be there when they woke up because he had to leave early for work. But I slept across the hall from BF in the boys' bedroom in the twin size bunk bed with my 5yo.

ETA In my divorce papers we have a morality clause. I should have notified my ex that the boys & I were staying the night with BF. The "penalty" for not telling him is he gets to have the kids one day longer on his next parenting time. BUT if he enforces that then he could never have our kids overnight because he lives with his GF & as far as I know they have no intention of getting married because that would mean she would lose her PA. I have let them stay the night knowing she was living there.
Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 6:33 AM
1 mom liked this
When we are married. I want to set a good example for my kids. What if it doesn't work out? Then will the next guy sleep over too?

You really need to do what feels right for you personally though.
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