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feeling lost

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 6:18 PM
  • 9 Replies
So I'm six weeks pregnant and have had a rough start. My boyfriend and I had not planned this. So we weighed out all options. We were both against abortions but now the farther I get along the more he starts freaking out. He wants nothing to do with the baby and I now, most the time. He wants me to get an abortion or give him papers so he can sign his rights over. What do I do? Do I leave and not look back have him sign his rights over or do I make him pay child support? All he has done for the past week is cuss at me and tell me how stupid I am and how I'm screwing up my life. What I don't understand is how he can say that when he already has two kids. Please help.
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 6:18 PM
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Replies (1-9):
krisnkids
by Gold Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 6:24 PM
1 mom liked this
In very few states can a parent just sign away the rights and not support the child. He can sign away the right to visitation or custody but unless someone else is willing to step up and adopt the child he won't be signing away everything.

If you want the child have it and file for support. If not then look into adoption. It's a rare gift that only few can give.
Paige10111
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 6:37 PM
I definitely want to keep it. I just want to know I can get the support.
woodstock525
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 6:42 PM

It's unfortunate for the child that you both weren't more cautious about birth control especially until you were in a permanent relationship.  That unfortunately cannot be undone.  That said, the only way the babydad can sign off his rights is after you marry someone else, typically have been married at least a year, and that person wants to adopt.  You certainly can file for child support once paternity has been established, but with him already having two kids (that he may or may not be supporting), I wouldn't count on getting much in the way of child support.  You may want to consider putting the baby up for adoption if you cannot afford to support the child on your own.

Paige10111
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 6:45 PM
Can you in iowa?
mrsary
by Gold Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 6:51 PM
Be prepared to do this all alone!
Paige10111
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 6:51 PM
He loves both his kids that he has now to death. Wouldn't trade them for the world. He has 50/50 custody. That's why this makes no sense to me as to why he's running. I know I can take care of this child. I have a great family that are a great support system to me. I just wish he would grow up and take responsibility.
ANewMe0812
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 10:05 PM
Perhaps he just doesn't want anymore children. Regardless of how he feels about his existing kids, you have to prepare yourself for the fact that he probably will not want much, or anything, to do with your baby. Don't go after him for child support with the expectations that he will come to realize he was wrong. Good luck, it's a tough situation.

Quoting Paige10111: He loves both his kids that he has now to death. Wouldn't trade them for the world. He has 50/50 custody. That's why this makes no sense to me as to why he's running. I know I can take care of this child. I have a great family that are a great support system to me. I just wish he would grow up and take responsibility.
cjsmom1
by Group Admin on Jul. 27, 2014 at 6:40 AM

He can't sign his rights away unless there is someone willing to adopt your child. You can go to court and file for child support. Honestly if you can afford to do it on your own I would do that and not file for support. You can't make him step up and be a dad and I'd rather not have to deal with him at all if he doesn't want my child.

LifeCafe42
by on Jul. 27, 2014 at 10:52 AM
If you want support he has to be on the birth certificate which then makes it difficult unless you have someone to adopt to sign rights away. NEVER rely on child support. Have you thought about adoption?
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