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Pregnant and Scared...!

Posted by on Aug. 3, 2014 at 8:56 PM
  • 16 Replies
So, a little over a week ago I got a positive pregnancy test and I've been so confused and upset and scared since. I made a post about it in another group:

http://www.cafemom.com/group/115189/forums/read/20140597/You_are_an_idiot

And didn't really get any help. I'm 100% sure it's my ex fiance's and I can't tell him. We live together and see each other every day, but every time I try to say something it gets caught in my throat. I asked him out on a date tomorrow so we could have some time without DS around so I can tell him. I'm not sure if I can though. I tried today and started to pretty much have an anxiety attack. I'm around 6 weeks already and I know I can't keep holding this off forever.

I'm mainly freaking out because I'm afraid his reaction will be really bad. I don't want to get an abortion, but I'm not really in a situation where I can take care of two kids by myself if he says he's out.

And as for protection, if anyone brings it up, I have an IUD that hasn't failed in 5 years (ParaGuard) so this is freaking me out over that too.
by on Aug. 3, 2014 at 8:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MandaMom23
by Bronze Member on Aug. 3, 2014 at 9:01 PM
1 mom liked this

Good luck, I hope you can find a way to tell him that doesnt create too much drama for you.

Vesta20
by Member on Aug. 3, 2014 at 9:27 PM
Good luck.
(You really don't know if you slept with someone else at a party or not?)
BentoMommy
by Member on Aug. 3, 2014 at 9:34 PM
I was really drunk - like 35 shots messed up. I asked my friends Robert and Karen who were hosting the party and they said I made out with someone, but that's it.

Quoting Vesta20: Good luck.
(You really don't know if you slept with someone else at a party or not?)
Ruins
by New Member on Aug. 3, 2014 at 10:40 PM

Time to suck it up, and tell him the same way you told us. Like you said he may react negatively. So what. If you have to file for child support than do so. But make sure you have no regrets in whatever choice you decide. Don't feel guilty, you took precautionary measures. It failed, now let's move on. Make a plan, for his reaction wether negative or positive. You know him, so make your plans accordingly we can not tell you how to present it to him, because we don't know his character etc...be strong, assertive and know either way, you will survive. With or with out him. Tell him how you are afraid-afraid of his reaction, afraid of it all. Men aren't mind readers. Have possible solutions when telling him, ask him how he feels. Don't assume, or get upset if he doesn't react the way you want him too. This is about all 4 of you. Not about what people think of you. You make sure to stay strong, know that you can handle whatever comes your way. Don't be afraid that what actions you need to take to execute your plans may offend him or others. Now you made me want a bento..... Sighs....


BentoMommy
by Member on Aug. 3, 2014 at 10:52 PM
I just recently lost my second job so I'm afraid if I tell him he will just walk out and never come back. He's paying for everything right now until I can get another job and money is a huge factor in me not wanting to tell him...

I'll have regrets no matter what unless he's all "oh yay a baby" when I tell him, which I do not see happening. If I abort I'll end up depressed and if I keep it and he doesn't even co-parent than I'm going to regret taking on more responsibility...
Nisha929
by Bronze Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 8:00 AM
2 moms liked this

I don't mean to sound rude but I don't understand how so many women can be so clueless when it comes to taking care of self. A man (husband or not) can leave at anytime. Of course no one wants that to happen or think that it will but NOTHING is guaranteed. No woman should be sitting around saying "I don't know what I'm gonna do if he leaves". You never rely completely on anyone but yourself.

Tell him you're pregnant and let the chips fall where they may. That is YOUR child that you're carrying so even if he does leave, you do what you have to do for you and yours. I know that it's a scary thought but don't underestimate your ability to make sure that you and your children will be okay. Learn to stand on your own two feet. I hope things work out for the best.

MClu42
by Maranda on Aug. 4, 2014 at 1:45 PM
1 mom liked this
Not to scare you, but I got negative reactions to both boys. My family even tried to convince me to give my second son up for adoption throughout my pregnancy. I was hardly making ends meet with my 10 month old, so I was terrified of raising them both alone. Fast forward 6 years later, and I am still doing it on my own. It's hard sometimes but we have never starved or been without a place to live. My children are happy and healthy and the struggles during the early years seem like light years away.
But you have to tell him. Good, bad, or ugly, you have to tell him. Anxiety attacks are horrible to get through. If you haven't already, try writing it all out first so you know how you want to break the news. Be strong, you can do this.
Frances0923
by Bronze Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 2:46 PM

Tell him or get an abortion and not tell him at all. Lol the second advise is wrong in anyway but manageble in your situation

sarahmiamaria
by Bronze Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 2:55 PM
1 mom liked this
If you would feel bad about getting an abortion then maybe consider adoption! There are so many wonderful couples out there that desperately want a baby. Hell I would adopt the baby if it meant you wouldn't abort! If he's any kind of man at all he will support you emotionally and financially. The anticipation of telling him is worse then actually doing it. Whatever happens you'll be OK :-) life goes on no matter what and you will get through it. You're much stronger then you give yourself credit for
LifeCafe42
by Nora on Aug. 4, 2014 at 11:39 PM
You need to tell him it's not something that goes away. I would go to your ob though there can be serious complications with an iud and pregnancy
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