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Kicking myself in the butt!

Posted by on Aug. 6, 2014 at 10:04 AM
  • 51 Replies

I don't hate anyone but I swear my kids father is on the verge of changing that. Our court order says that he has to have both our children covered by his health insurance. Well Monday I went to pick up a prescription for my daughter only to find out that her insurance through him is inactive. So of course I was pissed. I sent him a text and called and left a message and he didn't respond to either. So I had to end up calling his job. He told me he'd take care of it. That didn't happen Monday or yesterday. So today I sent him a text asking if he had straightened things out and he said he'd do it today. He also said he'd need my daughter's SS #.

He didn't need it before so I asked him why he needs it now. He said he needs it so adding her back can be done faster. Prior to that he said "if you don't need me to fix this just let me know". I guess that was his way of telling me to not question why he needs her SS # and to just give it to him. NOT! This man doesn't see his kids nor speak to them so giving him an important piece of information like that didn't sit right with me. So I called the benefits department at his job and asked the woman I spoke to if I needed to give him her SS #. She asked for his name and my children's names. I told her and she said my son's insurance is active but my daughter isn't even on there and hasn't been all year. She said he doesn't need her social and that she would contact the insurance company herself and have them reactivate her insurance. I have to call her back later to make sure everything was handled.  

I'm so glad I called before giving up that information to him. I love my kids to death but I wish I had picked a better man to have them with. I don't have to deal with him often but when I do, it's always a bad experience because he's such an asshole. I believe he knew that she wasn't on his insurance. He just didn't give a damn which is why he failed to tell me. Vent over!

by on Aug. 6, 2014 at 10:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ANewMe0812
by Bronze Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 10:30 AM

Wow that is just unbelievable. I don't understand how he could be aware that his daughter was somehow left off the insurance and not feel the need to resolve the issue immediately? His own selfishness and stupidity got in the way of his daughters best interest.

I understand wishing you had chosen their father better, I feel this way sometimes too. Your kids are lucky to have a wonderful mother who loves them and fights for them. And a step-dad who also loves them and shows them how a real man who cares for his kids and their mother is supposed to act.

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 10:42 AM

Well I'm glad that she helped you but two things. First he has a right to know his child's ss#, it sucks but yes he does. Also insurance companies do normally require it. As do controlled narcotic perscriptions but that's a whole nother ball game. Second is that you should not be calling his employer nor should the employer be talking to you about his insurance coverage. The girl that you spoke to could be subject to termination for doing that and if he finds out that she/you did he can complain and get her fired. Trust me, I have seen it done.  If you have a problem with what he is not doing then go to court and have the judge adress it.

FLmom26
by Bronze Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 10:45 AM

Yeah, I've have to fix insurance stuff myself too. When my ex got fired from the job he had with insurance on ds, the ins. company didn't fully update so it messed with the medicaid backup ins. My ex started out with the whole, I need his ss# too. Then it changed to, the ins. company screwed up so it's not his problem. DS had a prescription that would cost me over $100 out of pocket!!! I had to call around everywhere to get it fixed.

Definitely there with you wishing my ds had a better father too, they're such a**holes sometimes :/

Nisha929
by Bronze Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 10:49 AM

You're entitled to your opinion but as far as I'm concerned, he doesn't have the right to know which is why I didn't give it to him. It wasn't necessary for him to have her SS# and I know that. I have a friend that does insurance and all that. I asked her if he needed it and based on the insurance...he didn't. If he had a different provider, he might have needed it. She gave me information on MY children. Not who else he has on or anything like that. He can complain if he wants to but honestly I don't care and I highly doubt that he will. I'm sure if she couldn't give me the little bit of information that she did give, she wouldn't have.  

Quoting krisnkids:

Well I'm glad that she helped you but two things. First he has a right to know his child's ss#, it sucks but yes he does. Also insurance companies do normally require it. As do controlled narcotic perscriptions but that's a whole nother ball game. Second is that you should not be calling his employer nor should the employer be talking to you about his insurance coverage. The girl that you spoke to could be subject to termination for doing that and if he finds out that she/you did he can complain and get her fired. Trust me, I have seen it done.  If you have a problem with what he is not doing then go to court and have the judge adress it.

 

Nisha929
by Bronze Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 10:53 AM
1 mom liked this

He's an asshole which is why he didn't bother fixing it or telling me that her insurance was inactive. He doesnt care what happens with them which is why fixing it immediately wasn't his concern. 

Yes I do sometimes wish I had made a better choice but I can't go back and change it. I just have to roll with the punches and try not to punch him...lol. I'll definitely fight for my kids until I can no longer do so and yes...my boyfriend is a great guy that loves them like his own and sets a great example.   

Quoting ANewMe0812:

Wow that is just unbelievable. I don't understand how he could be aware that his daughter was somehow left off the insurance and not feel the need to resolve the issue immediately? His own selfishness and stupidity got in the way of his daughters best interest.

I understand wishing you had chosen their father better, I feel this way sometimes too. Your kids are lucky to have a wonderful mother who loves them and fights for them. And a step-dad who also loves them and shows them how a real man who cares for his kids and their mother is supposed to act.

 

Nisha929
by Bronze Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 10:56 AM
1 mom liked this

Wow I'm sorry you had to go through that but happy you got it fixed. You know what's funny now about the whole thing...he sent me a text not too long ago saying that it's been fixed. I had to laugh because the idiot doesn't realize that it was fixed because of me and not him. I won't throw it in his face though. I'll just say "thanks" and go back to not dealing with his simple ass.

Quoting FLmom26:

Yeah, I've have to fix insurance stuff myself too. When my ex got fired from the job he had with insurance on ds, the ins. company didn't fully update so it messed with the medicaid backup ins. My ex started out with the whole, I need his ss# too. Then it changed to, the ins. company screwed up so it's not his problem. DS had a prescription that would cost me over $100 out of pocket!!! I had to call around everywhere to get it fixed.

Definitely there with you wishing my ds had a better father too, they're such a**holes sometimes :/

 

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 10:56 AM
1 mom liked this

Not my opinion, just Federal law. He's also entitled to copies of his childrens' birth certificates.

And it is also Federal Law in regards to you talking to his employer and she vice versa talking to you. It does not matter if they are your children, his children or Bobby Joe's children. You are not entitled to talk to his employer. Personally? If my ex did that I would blow my top. Ramifications could be extensive.

I don't work for insurance companies; I have worked in HR and Payroll for the past 12 years.


Quoting Nisha929:

You're entitled to your opinion but as far as I'm concerned, he doesn't have the right to know which is why I didn't give it to him. It wasn't necessary for him to have her SS# and I know that. I have a friend that does insurance and all that. I asked her if he needed it and based on the insurance...he didn't. If he had a different provider, he might have needed it. She gave me information on MY children. Not who else he has on or anything like that. He can complain if he wants to but honestly I don't care and I highly doubt that he will. I'm sure if she couldn't give me the little bit of information that she did give, she wouldn't have.  

Quoting krisnkids:

Well I'm glad that she helped you but two things. First he has a right to know his child's ss#, it sucks but yes he does. Also insurance companies do normally require it. As do controlled narcotic perscriptions but that's a whole nother ball game. Second is that you should not be calling his employer nor should the employer be talking to you about his insurance coverage. The girl that you spoke to could be subject to termination for doing that and if he finds out that she/you did he can complain and get her fired. Trust me, I have seen it done.  If you have a problem with what he is not doing then go to court and have the judge adress it.

 


Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 10:58 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree that he should know his kids socials, esp if he wants to add them as any sort of beneficiary they ask for it. Seems this was made more difficult than it had to be.

Nisha929
by Bronze Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 10:58 AM

Once again, I don't care what you or anyone else feels he's entitled to. I spoke to her and that's that...end of story.   

Quoting krisnkids:

Not my opinion, just Federal law. He's also entitled to copies of his childrens' birth certificates.

And it is also Federal Law in regards to you talking to his employer and she vice versa talking to you. It does not matter if they are your children, his children or Bobby Joe's children. You are not entitled to talk to his employer. Personally? If my ex did that I would blow my top. Ramifications could be extensive.

I don't work for insurance companies; I have worked in HR and Payroll for the past 12 years.

 

Quoting Nisha929:

You're entitled to your opinion but as far as I'm concerned, he doesn't have the right to know which is why I didn't give it to him. It wasn't necessary for him to have her SS# and I know that. I have a friend that does insurance and all that. I asked her if he needed it and based on the insurance...he didn't. If he had a different provider, he might have needed it. She gave me information on MY children. Not who else he has on or anything like that. He can complain if he wants to but honestly I don't care and I highly doubt that he will. I'm sure if she couldn't give me the little bit of information that she did give, she wouldn't have.  

Quoting krisnkids:

Well I'm glad that she helped you but two things. First he has a right to know his child's ss#, it sucks but yes he does. Also insurance companies do normally require it. As do controlled narcotic perscriptions but that's a whole nother ball game. Second is that you should not be calling his employer nor should the employer be talking to you about his insurance coverage. The girl that you spoke to could be subject to termination for doing that and if he finds out that she/you did he can complain and get her fired. Trust me, I have seen it done.  If you have a problem with what he is not doing then go to court and have the judge adress it.

 

 

 

Nisha929
by Bronze Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 11:01 AM

You too are entitled to your opinion. I know him better than you do so trust me when I tell you that he hasn't seen them in years and hasn't talked to them in years. So I'm positive he's not making them beneficiaries to anything. I didn't give it to him and I never will and I don't care what anyone thinks of that. Yes it was...because of him.

Quoting Oliviasmom72:

I agree that he should know his kids socials, esp if he wants to add them as any sort of beneficiary they ask for it. Seems this was made more difficult than it had to be.

 

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