Am I being petty with my ex or is my decision for the right reasons?
This week my ex has the boys because his family came into town.
Two years ago I bought Sea World passes for my boys and myself. $60/mo is deducted from my bank account to have these passes.
NEVER has my ex offered to pay for it monthly and therefore it never crossed my mind he would ask to use them.
Sure enough he contacted me earlier today and asked for the boys Sea World passes as if he were entitled to them. His exact words were "I'm going to swing by to get the Sea World passes for "son number one" and "son number two" because we get enough discounts for the rest of us so we can afford to go."
This made me angry because there has never been an offer on his behalf at any time to pay half of their passes and share them. He just keeps asking to have them when he has the boys because they love going which is something the three of us do as a tradition.
I'm never as forthright as I should be with my ex and often let him walk all over me.
Therefore, I told him no to the Sea World passes. His brother and his brother's wife are in town so my ex started making this huge deal on the phone with me in front of them. I told him I wasn't going to carry on this conversation anymore but before he made me out to be the bad guy he should tell them he's NEVER paid a cent towards these passes.
Am I being petty by not giving him the Sea World passes that I pay for every month? Or did I make the right decision?
Again, I would like to thank everyone who responded and provided insightful thoughts for me to consider.
I'm a Christian and at the end of the day I knew the right thing to do was to give him the passes because it's for my boys benefit.
Not only did I do that but I gave him my platinum pass so he could park within the first three rows.
Our 5 year old has high functioning autism and that benefit of parking close is more helpful than I can put into words.
asked him in the future if would he like to pay for half and he said he
would pay for the upcoming swim lessons for both kids and my oldest
son's sport fees this fall.
I did talk to him about the way he asked and it turned out to be a very civil person. He recognized and said that he realizes I go the extra mile to make coparenting work.
I don't like that he walks all over me but I'm trying to believe that if I keep doing this one day he will come around and we will coparent very well which is my biggest wish for our boys.
HOWEVER, I do stop him when he becomes very disrespectful especially if we're in front of the boys. I have an 8 year old too and I've definitely put him in his place. He knows his momma is a college educated, full time mom with a full time job and that I put the roof over his head and provide him with some of the luxuries he often takes for granted. My oldest told my ex (his father) to "not talk to his momma like that" when my ex said something recently. I stopped an argument from ensuing but it hit home to my ex that our oldest is aware of what is "right" and what is "wrong".
Again, I can't convey enough as to how much I appreciate all the responses and support!!!