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8/20 ***NEW UPDATE!! WONT BELIEVE***Update** to VERY BAD CUSTODY BATTLE. =( Please read I need help

Posted by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 11:46 AM
  • 31 Replies



So Ladies,

So when I came back and updated you guys about my attorney I was so upset. Now...

Apparently my attorney has shaped up. I cooled down and gathered my thoughts and called him. I told him I was not happy with his services, and felt that he was not defending me to the best of his ability given he has been doing this for the "last 40 years."

He assured me nothing has happened yet and that he did not even start fighting yet. . That was 2 weeks ago. 

2 days after court Jerry (my attorney) and my EX attorney were battling it out VIA email, about my mother's attempt to "physically assult" me outside of the court house. Told her he was witness, and my attorney further informed my EX's attorney, that he witnessed the entire altercation. Also, my attorney has yet to recieve any kind of evidence regarding my abuse of the children, and the allegations made against me. Also about my EX screwing around with my parenting time, and alienating me from the children, and also for lieing to the court referee about me not having any contact with the children while being away.

Long story short, I have gathered my evidence, and my old neighbors all agreed to testify against my EX that I was never abusive towards the children, and that they saw him abuse me verbally and physically. ANd That they never seen that in the 5 years they knew me, bruises or any sign of child abuse or neglect by me. 

So today, Jerry sends me a letter from the other attorneys requesting me to attend a "mediation" by an ADR to resolve an agreement without trial.

I think thats cowardly....

Im pissed. I feel like after all I was accused of, I want it to go to trial. So my name can be cleared, and also, to make them suffer for what they put me through. WHat do you guys think? I have 10 days to respond. My attorney said  we should ask for 

FULL CUSTODY WITH RESONABLE VISITATION FOR THE FATHER.. And thats fine with me, but what about everything that was said. The threats, the abuse. I want Justice...... But I want my kids too. 

ANy advice ladies?











__________________________________________________________________________________

Hi ladies,

I just wanted to update you on my case details back in Michigan for the custody battle of my twin girls. Lets just say it went very very bad for ME.

As soon as I landed i had a few hours to get ready for court. Get to the court house and my attorney is late. My EX was there with his attorney, and my parents,  my brothers and sisters, uncles and friends were all with him, including his family.

I sat alone waiting for my attorney who comes in, as if nothing is wrong, and we go to speak to the "friends of the court Mediator" who took my income information, and my statement about the complaint for temporary custody. As for as the complaint for custody my attorney requested joint physical and legal. My EX goes in after me and his attorney asked for "sole physical and legal custody of the girls". She said to the Referee that she felt my parental rights should be taken away from me on the grounds of 

     "Extreme drug abuse by the mother"

     "Extreme child abuse & neglect of the children"

                     "And the inability to function as a proper mother because of my drug and mental problems"

And my attorney did not even say anything! HE just kept telling me to wait. The other attorney made me look so DAMN horrible. I didnt get to state my side, and my attorney only said "women are treated as property your honor" ...THATS IT!!

The referee denied my EX's request for me to submit to a drug test. So I asked her if I can see my kids today and she arranged a meeting with a family member supervising. My babies saw me, recognized me and ran to me screaming mommy.. My girls love me and I love them too. T

But now I have a dillema. I have already given my current attorey almost 2000. Plus I have to pay to go back and forth for court in michigan. My income is good, but I still have living expenses. And I just dont feel like my current attorney is capable of helping me., I only met him over the phone until the court date and I think I was jipped. I feel he sold me false hopes and dreams. He was not even a LITTLE aggressive. 

We have to do a F.A.M.E evaluation for 1 month, but my attorney only 1 day. I got an opinion from a 2 other attorneys who said my attorney is dragging on to get more money. That a 30 day evaluation is better fit to show the courts how I interact with the children. I want to retain another attorney to help  me win.. I dont feel confident in my attorney. He does not give me any hope. or tell me what hes going to do or say. I feel like he is leading me biind and when I talk to him about it he says" do you have a bar number'?

What am I going to do? my parents are highly respected members of the community. People believe what they say. My EX is holding on tight because my parents want him to keep the kids to punish me. My dad keeps telling me lets go overseas and visit your family. ( IN A COLD DAY IN HELL), and my mom says go have another baby and forget about these two. They are mine. You have brought shame and dishonor to our family.  We arranged your marriage to (MY EX) and you still divorced him against our wishes. You will suffer by never seeing your kids again! Everyone is on their side.

IM innocent ladies. I am good mom. I never abused or neglected them. Im running our of money. I just started a new bussiness that is doing relatively well, but not well enough to by fully supporting itself. Plus my current living expenses . I may have to retain another attorney. One who understands more how serious this is. Ladies any advice would be appreciated.

Anyone know where I can get some financial assistantce to pay for my attorney fees? OR ones that accept payment plans? I cant pull a loan yet since I dont have good established credit.  Im scared im going to loose. My parents are fighting desperatly and unfairly by lieing. Just to punish me. 

Also, my parents  did say if I came back I could have the girls back and can live in their basement. But I would still have to cook and clean and take care of the businesses. They have to show the people that even though im divorced im still able to function as a house wife down the line. Its so sad. All this stress is eating me up....I would not be allowed to get married to anybody of my choosing. 

I wear the scarf "hijab" on my head. Im used to it now. But, that does now mean that i get treated as property. My dad said the man he picked for me "just wants a wife". ( Thats means I stay in bed all day). Hell Fu*kn now if my dad thinks he can make me do it again. He forced me when I was 17 and look what happened.

Any advice ladies? I need to somehow raise funds to hire a new attorney, I have already discussed my issues with my current attorney who brushed them off as his personalitity/ ( NEVER hire an attorney over the phone..)

What should I do? I have tapped my saving to pay for the attorney and tickets and legal fees and costs. Im afraid of going bankrupt but damn I will fight for my Girls. I dont want them married off at 16 and no eduaction. I wish my attorney would have let me speak. But! he says wait., and doesent tell me why. UGH!!!!!!!!


P.S Pics of me and them girls the day we met!

by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 11:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
CaliMama8809
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 11:55 AM

ANewMe0812
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 12:18 PM
Your daughters are beautiful.

Quoting CaliMama8809:

ANewMe0812
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 12:19 PM
2 moms liked this
I would start by contacting other attorneys and letting them know the severity of the case and also, be up front about your money situation. Maybe they know of some kind of assistance you can apply for. This is such a sad situation. I really hope things are resolved soon. Best of luck!
MeeshMom
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 12:55 PM
I read your other post before. I'm a Christian and I will pray for you and your girls situation. I have no experience in this but I think you should call around other attorneys. This is also a civil rights sort of issue considering the treatment your family gives you. You may find a good attorney who advocates for women who are in your position. Best of luck to you.
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Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 1:37 PM
Why don't you see if you can find a good attorney where you currently live and see if they are also a member of the bar in the state where your family is or maybe they can work with an attorney in the state.

Unfortunately, it does sound like you are going to be in for the fight of your life. It's a shame that people in America are allowed to treat their family members like you have been treated. And to know your girls are headed for the same kind of life must be heart breaking.

I hope you can get some help that will actually help you.
Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 2:02 PM

Wow I am saddened to hear this. I remember your posts. This is heartbreaking that your own family has turned against you. Are you allowed any sort of visits at all right now? Also can you and your ex agree on joint custody just to put this to rest? It is sad that the court and judge allows this nonsense to go on. It does not sound like your attorney did much. Good luck to you mama. I hope you see your kids again very soon.

CaliMama8809
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 2:22 PM
3 moms liked this

FIrst to the annonymous person who said to

"I would say, cut your losses with your girls and move on.  "  This would never happen. I WIILL CONTINUE to fight for them. I REFUSE to let my daughters grow up with their dad. Where they will be forced into an arranged marriage and be looked at as property instead of humans.

I got out of it. I ran away from that and said I REFUSE to live like this. I left with the clothes on my back with my girls and im not about to stop fighting untl they are with me. They are living in a basement with their father. 

Why should I back down?? I have done nothing wrong but advocated for my life. Because I refused to marry a man from overseas to grant him papers? That makes me unfit? I was born and raised in this country. 


AND YES, the referee gave me phone contact 3 days a week. But fortunatly, the sister of my EX is nice to me and she personally calls me and allows me to speak the kids. MY EX told me I can take the kids, and we could share. HE wanted to do joint. MY PARENTS SAID NO!!

They said their reputation was damaged because I have brought honor, and disgrace upon them when I refused to marry the man  they wanted me to, and instead married my current husband who is half catholic, so that warrants my dad to kill me... ( IN MY DADS WORDS). Thats why I cant have the kids. Because they didnt authorize me to leave their house, to get a job, to rent my own house in cali, to do anything because they claim WOMEN ARE SUPPOSED TO BE UPSTAIRS IN BED. WTF if I will do that AGAIN. I have my education, a good job, nice house and car, wonderful support system.  and am only lacking my kids at this point. 

CaliMama8809
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 2:24 PM

One more thing to add,


My dad and mom are highly respected members of the community. People believe anything they say and they have lots of money. They are feeding my EX with lots of money to keep him fighting him. They tried to fight for custody and lost. ALL this because I refused to marry a man from overseas. Because I went against Father's wishes...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 10, 2014 at 3:08 PM

I wish you all the luck in the fighting.  Because from my personal experience I did the same - fighting and fighting til deaths end and no matter what I did it was never good enough.  I went through many and many attorneys, including doing it on my own. Went to High Conflict classes many times and recieved many, upon many certificates to give to the court, went to parenting classes and recieved certificates, went through a total background check, went to supervised visitations  I still did not get them back.  So again, I wish you all the luck in trying to get them back. I went to counseling, I met a wonderful lady that my attorney wanted me to visit and talk to, who was also in the attorney field to help me and she even met my kids too, she spoke to my attorney and told him there was absolutely nothing wrong with me and said I should have those kids back in my care.  The attorney did not fight for me.  In fact he even quit on me.  It does not mean you are a bad mother at all.  It means you have tried your best and that's all you can do!  Again, I wish you all the best in your fight - but it may mean it could take years and years before having them back in your care, by then it could be too late. They will be past the age of no return.  If you can afford the back and forth to court and constantly having to find new attorneys because they don't do their job, I wish you all the best to you . By spending thousands and thousands of dollars  it still may boil down to saying the Judge will not give you the kids back.  Sometimes there is a reason for what outcome of a case is about.

ANewMe0812
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 3:17 PM
2 moms liked this
Thank you for addressing that! I saw that comment and my jaw dropped open. Cut your losses with your girls??? Who says that?!

Quoting CaliMama8809:

FIrst to the annonymous person who said to

"I would say, cut your losses with your girls and move on.  "  This would never happen. I WIILL CONTINUE to fight for them. I REFUSE to let my daughters grow up with their dad. Where they will be forced into an arranged marriage and be looked at as property instead of humans.

I got out of it. I ran away from that and said I REFUSE to live like this. I left with the clothes on my back with my girls and im not about to stop fighting untl they are with me. They are living in a basement with their father. 

Why should I back down?? I have done nothing wrong but advocated for my life. Because I refused to marry a man from overseas to grant him papers? That makes me unfit? I was born and raised in this country. 

AND YES, the referee gave me phone contact 3 days a week. But fortunatly, the sister of my EX is nice to me and she personally calls me and allows me to speak the kids. MY EX told me I can take the kids, and we could share. HE wanted to do joint. MY PARENTS SAID NO!!

They said their reputation was damaged because I have brought honor, and disgrace upon them when I refused to marry the man  they wanted me to, and instead married my current husband who is half catholic, so that warrants my dad to kill me... ( IN MY DADS WORDS). Thats why I cant have the kids. Because they didnt authorize me to leave their house, to get a job, to rent my own house in cali, to do anything because they claim WOMEN ARE SUPPOSED TO BE UPSTAIRS IN BED. WTF if I will do that AGAIN. I have my education, a good job, nice house and car, wonderful support system.  and am only lacking my kids at this point. 

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