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Pregnant, single & scared

Posted by on Aug. 12, 2014 at 10:44 AM
  • 8 Replies
I'm new to this site a very close friend of mine directed me this way and I feel like the support from other moms will help greatly.
Well here it goes.
I have been dating this guy for over a year. And until recently he was a great supportive guy. Caring sweet thoughtful I thought I really found the one. I help him with his son emotions ally financially pick him up from school everything. We got a nice car together and were working on getting a place together. I thought my dreams were coming true. I had previously been in a very bad relationship before that hurt me.. Bad. 4 years of emotional abuse lies, and me being used. So my new boyfriend was heaven sent in my eyes. Until I found out I was pregnant. Knowing how great of a father he was to his son gave me confidence that he would be great to my child too so telling him was exciting. I was about 100 miles away so I texted him the great news and got a response saying go to the clinic me thinking he meant for a check up I got excited and started looking into doctors through my insurance found one and made an appointment for it a week later. I told my boyfriend and he just said ok. No excitement or questions just blah. I didn't think anything of it until the next day he asked if I went to the doctor I said no I have an appt in a week remember silly and you know how it works. He said how much will it cost I asked what will cost and he says the abortion. My heart literally dropped. I felt like I couldn't breathe for a second and than I asked him what do you mean? He just replies the abortion. If you can imagine things progressively went down hill from there and now he is so rude and tells me to not contact him anymore. I also believe he might have changed his number. Some days are easier than others but my heart hurts. I try to suck it up but than last night I had a nightmare and I feel like I miss him so much I just wish someone could relate to me. All of my friends are in great relationships with their baby's fathers but me I have nothing so I'm ashamed to even tell them were not together...
by on Aug. 12, 2014 at 10:44 AM
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Replies (1-8):
Callaly
by Jessica on Aug. 13, 2014 at 1:03 PM
2 moms liked this

 I am sorry that you are going through this, and you are right I think you will find support here.

Your ex was harsh, he didn't even give you an option (I have been in that position with an ex after I had DD, I got pregnant and he asked me when the apt was, I didn't even give it thought and I went through with the abortion) but maybe look at it from his point of view.. he is already a single dad, he was probably putting his son first, not knowing if he would be able to support 2 kids, and really just trying to focus on the one right now, men are emotional too and they get scared too and sometimes as women we forget that because in society men are "supposed" to be the strong tough ones.

Give it time, focus on yourself and your pregnancy

amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:38 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh sweetie!  Congrats on your pregnancy, but I'm so sorry about the troubles this causes with your relationship.

You have NOTHING to be ashamed of.  Nothing.  If your friends don't understand and can't support you, then they are not true friends.

Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Aug. 13, 2014 at 4:43 PM
1 mom liked this

Welcome to the group.  I'm sorry you're going through the surprise of finding out that the father of your child isn't quite who you thought he was and that he's not as excited about the baby as you are. 

hugs

Nisha929
by Bronze Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 5:36 PM
2 moms liked this

You never know what people are really going through behind closed doors so don't compare their situation to your situation. Now...dude is an asshole and if that's how he acted when you told him you're having his baby...the best thing he could have done for you is change his number.

I know you're hurt (and it's okay to feel that way) but trust me...with each passing day it will become a little easier to deal with and then one day you'll wake up and the pain will be gone. Right now its time for you to focus on the little one you have growing inside you. I know its easier said than done in this situation but try not too stress too much. It's not good for you or the baby. If your friends are TRUE friends...they won't judge you. They'll be there to support you every step of the way. You didnt do anything wrong so you have nothing to be ashamed of. hugs

cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 1:25 AM
2 moms liked this

Welcome to the group. I'm sorry you're going through this right now. You have to make the decision that's right for you. It's not easy finding out someone you care about isn't who you really thought they were

Iluvhairmicore
by New Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 4:41 AM
1 mom liked this

Aww ...I feel so bad for you. In time your heart will feel better. Keep your head up. feel better

maia188
by Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 4:54 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry your going through this guys can be jerks. Always know things will get better with time. If you ever need someone to talk to im here for you I have been in your shoes and I can promise you it gets better. Take care. :)
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Lexxielex
by New Member on Aug. 15, 2014 at 11:17 AM
1 mom liked this
Hey ladies I'm so glad I found this site because I really feel the support & love!!! And this is what I need in my life. And thanks Callaly for responding first :) I have looked at things in his way but I can't get an abortion I love this baby already and if he doesn't feel the same I don't need him. He even told me if I get the abortion we can still have unprotected sex! I was so confused n stunned idk. It's just a lot but I'm going to stay positive and make things work. Hes irresponsible . He has no job no car anymore and lives with his mom at 26 in a one bedroom. He doesn't want to get a job either! He can't even afford to take care of his son so I do ugh sorry about ranting ladies I just want you to ladies to hear me out and I appreciate it so much I will def be on this website a lot! ❤️
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