Silly question, but have you been on a bad date? Anyone who has ever been single (read: everyone) has at least one dating horror story for the books.
But after one of those REALLY terrible ones, didn't it always help to know you weren't alone? And after you've coupled up, unconsciously or not, isn't it fun to look back on all the madness and laugh?
I once ended up on a date where the guy demanded that I kiss him. After all, he reasoned, "I paid for dinner. You owe me." Sure, dude. I couldn't catch the subway fast enough after that one.
Everyone's got a doozy.
From the guys who refused to pay (and walked their dates to the ATM and even gave them CHANGE) to the men who picked food from our teeth and ate it (RETCH), we gathered the 7 worst dating tales in order to share the love!
1.) "Guy picks me up, takes me to Beverly Hills. The plan is to go get lunch, but he says he has a special errand to do first, which turned out to be returning something at Tiffany's -- which he apparently thought would really impress me. Uh, no? And he was offended that I wasn't agog at the thought of Tiffany's! Haha. Then, we go eat, and I felt like I was being interviewed for a job. He quizzed me about 'the best meal I've ever eaten,' and I couldn't think of just ONE, so he was all offended by that, and his answer, which he felt compelled to describe in pretentious detail, was 'foie gras at the Four Seasons in NYC.' Oooookay. Color me NOT impressed."
~ Maressa Brown, married one year
2.) "I once went on a date with this big muscle head guy. Really macho type. We went to a haunted house (it was at Halloween time). I was 21 and weighed about 120 pounds. He had to be 225, solid muscle. He made me go first and hid behind me the entire time, clutching my arm. Needless to say, that was our first and last date."
~ Megan Flaherty, married mom of 2
3.) "A guy I was (briefly) seeing told me if I lost 20 pounds, I'd be just as hot as his ex-girlfriend."
~ Stephanie Branly, married mom of 2
4.) "I was invited over to someone's house (in retrospect probably not the best idea) for dinner. He made a piece of chicken. That's right: a piece of boiled chicken. That was it. No side. No sauce. Nothing."
~ Emily Roy, married mom of 1
5.) "One time I broke up with a guy I'd had just one or two dates with over dinner. He stared in disbelief: 'I don't get it! If I were you, I'd wanna do me!'"
~ Julia Magnusson, married mom of 2
6.) "I once went on a first date where I arrived laughing about the fact that I had just totally been tricked by a $20 swindle in which the guy tells you he's an actor who locked his costumes in his studio uptown and doesn't have money for a cab. I was laughing because on one hand, I couldn't believe I'd fallen for it, and on the other hand, I didn't care. He was like, 'Wow, are you usually that gullible?' and then followed that up with 'Is this your way of saying drinks are on me?' He was so cynical and so rude, you could just see all the negativity in him. He followed that up by telling me about some kind of stomach issue he had. He was a writer, and every once in a while, I'll see him in some party photo and I'll think, 'Oh, there's that asshole with the stomach issues.'"
~ Mackenzie Dawson, married mom of 1
7.) "I went out on a date once with a guy I’d met online. He was half British, half French. He used a lot of smiley faces in his emails and sounded nice. I came prepared to split the bill. My date -- let’s call him Steve -- was cute in a scruffy way, but he had a dark side simmering just below the surface. I just knew it. The dinner was fine. The check came and we both put down our credit cards. 'Sorry,' the waiter said, smiling at us. 'We only take American Express.' We locked eyes. 'Don’t worry,' Steve said reassuringly. 'I have the cash ... So I’ll pay the full bill and then we’ll go to the ATM and you can take out your share.' He wasn't kidding. But he did give me my $3 change."
~ Catherine Strawder, married mom of 2
So there you have it. Honestly, I had to cut some of the REALLY dirty ones ... but that doesn't mean they're not out there! We could do this forever. Yes. There are that many.
Sad yet wickedly funny, no?
Have you ever had a REALLY bad date? Share it!