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Opinions of Child Support/Visitation

Posted by on Aug. 14, 2014 at 8:00 PM
  • 5 Replies

Hi Ladies!! So I am just curious what you ladies here on Cafe Mom think. I have a verbal agreement with my sons father regarding child support and visitations. We switch weekends, so my son is with his dad every other week for 5 days. That gives him Saturday-Wednesday. Then I have my son Thursday through the following Saturday til about noon. So I have him for 9 days straight give or take. His dad usually calls between those nine days and ask to see him. He does see him just about everyday regardless due to my ex's parents watching our son while we work, unless my mom watches him. He lives at home still btw. Our agreement for child support is $200 twice a month. We have actually had this agreement even when we were together due to me living at my mothers house and him living with his parents. The only difference then from now for him financially is that he doesn't even buy diapers because his parents do. He is very good about paying it. It may not be on time but give or take a day or two due to us not seeing each other, which is fine.

Well every time we get in an argument he tells me that he pays too much in child support and doesn't even get his son enough. He is a very active roll in our sons life, but I feel that what he pays is reasonable. My reasoning you ask? I live on my own, I am a full time student and I work full time. I don't receive any government assistance, which he thinks I do. So I have a lot of financial responsibility to take care of on my own. DS father on the other hand still lives at home with his parents, drives a brand new car that he doesn't pay anything but gas for if even that, he pays maybe a bill here and there, and his phone bill. His parents buy our sons diapers and wipes while he is there. It has always been this way even when we were together. When we had first split I would still take everything our son needed over. Anything and everything from food, clothing, toys, bottles, bibs, medicine, you name it. I had stopped because stuff was going missing due to them not keeping track and why should I be supporting him in both homes. Hell I would like to pay $200 twice a month to someone to make sure my son has everything he needs everywhere he goes including a roof over his head.

I have to even hear it when I tell him we are going somewhere out of town and invite him so he can come along and experience all of the first with our son. He tells me maybe if I didn't give you so much money and blah blah blah. Not to mention I am the reason why he can't afford to move of his parents home due to me taking all of his money.

I am fortuante that we haven't had to go through court, but I just needed to vent about this.  We are in one of our "arguments" and all he can tell me is how its my fault why he doesn't have this or that or can't do this and that. All because I mentioned taking our son to Disneyland soon and I am going regardless whether he does or not. I am tired of having to put it off because he can't afford it.

What are your opinions ladies? Do you think he pays too much, not enough, or enough? Does he have/see our son enough or not enough. What are you arraingments like?


by on Aug. 14, 2014 at 8:00 PM
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by Gold Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 9:56 PM

We have no idea how much he makes or what your state guidelines say as far as support. $400 though sounds very reasonable though. It does not matter who buys the diapers his parents seem to help and that is nice. Child support does not count his assets or his car it is strictly based on parenting time and income. At first glance that sounds reasonable you might want to google what your state guielines say.

by on Aug. 14, 2014 at 11:44 PM
Most states have child support calculators he should do it and if it's more than he pays he should be grateful
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by on Aug. 15, 2014 at 1:07 AM
Lets get something out of the way first: some ex's out there in the world that pays child support claims to be broke, or have not left enough money to MOVE OUT of their parents house, or to go fancy places to date.....because they are paying child support.
It really does not matter, to some ex's the amount. It is about they simply not being happy about supporting their own kids......
I suggest to tell him clear and simple "lets go to court and make this a legal issue" otherwise, enjoy the ride! Being a parent is to provide for your child, regardles if you see him every day or not!
So sorry he is acting this way.
Best of luck!!!
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 15, 2014 at 1:16 AM
My husband sees his kids one week Friday though Tuesday then the next week Sunday through Tuesday and so on and so on. so it's about 48% of the time and he pays $1400/mo for two kids, has them on his med vision and dental insurance and also pays for a life insurance policy on himself and them as beneficiaries.
by Group Admin on Aug. 15, 2014 at 2:02 AM

Depending on how much each of you makes he may be right. It sounds like you two hwave equal parenting time, no daycare costs, and everything he needs for his house is provided by him. I kno it's his parents buying everything, but as far as court goes it's him or you providing, they don't look at other people.

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