Baby's father not interested in pregnancy...

[bluskyz75]

Hi all!  I've been having a hard time lately dealing with this pregnancy.  I am not together with my baby's father, and haven't been for some time.  He acts completely uninterested in this pregnancy.  He lives right around the corner but does not bother to call or check up on me, he just expects me to "call him when I need him".  He has yet to even feel the baby move.  I'm 30 weeks along.  I don't even know if I want him there when I deliver.  It just sucks that he's so detached, never mind the fact that I found out he was seeing someone. 

Anyway, any advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. :)

[taias_ma]

hey chick! im sorry to hear you are going thru this. unfortunately, there are tons of us out there in your shoes. it's very very difficult during the pregnancy...you just have to keep your close friends and family around you at all times. that's what got me thru it. my baby's dad never was and still is not in my daughter's life.
i just read some girls post a minute ago about letting go...if he ain't in it hunny unfortunately you will never ever ever be able to make him want to be in it. it's hard to bite it...but it's the truth. i hope things work out for you...i'm sure they will. i'm always here to talk if you want! good luck :o)

[tylersmom430]

Girl my pregnancy was exactly the same.  Well actually me and the guy worked togother and he would ignore me at work.  It was horrible at the time but everything ended up okay.  I just read a lot of parenting and pregnancy books and tried to pamper myself a lot.  My family was very supportive of me.  Just remember, this too shall pass.  Try not to stress about him not being involved, IT IS HIS LOSS!  He is the one who is missing out, consider yourself lucky that you are having 9 months of bonding and time to get to know your baby and learn about how to be a good parent.  Good luck to you and please feel free to pm me at any time.  I have been in your situation and I am more than willing to lend an ear if you need someone to talk to.

Abby

[JSG924]

I would suggest no having him in the delivery room, you don't need that extra aggravation. You want someone who is going to comfort you and support you. I had my Mom and my sister with me and they helped me out. Does he seem like he is interested in the child at all?? Things might not change once the babies born. I hope he will want to be apart of the childs life but you never know with men.  Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy!! There is nothing like being a Mom!! Enjoy it!

Jill               

single mom to

 

 

 

 

[heavensent0223]

STAY STRON!!!! STAY STRONG!!!! STAY STRONG!!!!


DO NOT LET IT IGNORANCE CONTROL HOW YOU FEEL. YOU ARE CARRYING A LIFE INSIDE OF YOU- ALL THAT YOU ARE FEELING THAT BABY FEELS. I HAVE BEEN THERE BEFORE, MY SON WILL BE FOUR IN FEB. AND HIS "SPERM DONOR" HAVE DENIED HIM SINCE THE DAY I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT. YES- IT WAS HARD AND YES THERE WERE TIMES WERE I WAS DEPRESS, BUT SWEETIE IT GETS GREATER LATER. THINK THAT CHILD YOU ARE ABOUT TO BRING INTO THIS WORLD- THAT IS SO HIS LOSE. IF HE WANTS TO BE IN THE DELIVER ROOM LET HIM- MINE WASNT THERE SIMPLY BECAUSE HE DIDNT CARE. BUT IF HE WANTS TO BE THERE LET HIM. LET HIM EXPERIENCE WHAT WE AS WOMEN HAVE TO GO THROUGH TO BRING A HUMAN BEING INTO THIS WORLD.


PLEASE REMEMBER TO STAY STRONG AND KEEP YOUR FAITH IN GOD- HE IS TRULY THE ONLY REASON I MADE IT THIS FAR. IT WILL GET BETTER.

IF YOU NEED TO VENT I AM HERE- I HAVE BEEN IN YOUR SITUATION- I TRULY UNDERSTAND HOW YOU ARE FEELING.

[bluskyz75]

Quoting JSG924:

I would suggest no having him in the delivery room, you don't need that extra aggravation. You want someone who is going to comfort you and support you. I had my Mom and my sister with me and they helped me out. Does he seem like he is interested in the child at all?? Things might not change once the babies born. I hope he will want to be apart of the childs life but you never know with men.  Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy!! There is nothing like being a Mom!! Enjoy it!

He did seem interested there for a while, when he found out it was a boy (he already has two girls).  It seems like any attempt he DOES make anymore is fake and he's "forced" to do it.  I sure hope he wants to be a part of his son's life too.  Thank you for your advice! :)

[mymaddiegrl2]

my mom and my best friend since first grade were in the delivery room with me. my husband  (separated at the time) wanted to stay at the last minute after he had had nothing to do with me through the whole pregnancy. I told him no way.  I loved having my mom there to cut the cord and my best friend. You need to focus on having someone there for you because odds are he probably wont be and you need to make this a happy time for you and not be stressed . you can do this and you will be a stronger person for it. chin up

[dixiegirl3179]

If you don't want him in the delivery room then don't let him be there. It doesn't matter what he wants. My son's father left me 2 weeks before Parker was born and then didn't call or anything. I didn't even know where he was. The last contact I'd had with him was yelling and screaming, so I knew that him being at the hospital would make me upset. I didn't call him til 2 days after my son was born. He was all kinds of pissed that he wasn't there. Oh well. He shouldn't have treated me like crap. The delievery is about you and your comfort, it's not about him. If he wants to be there he needs to man up and treat you better.

Amanda, single Mom to Parker 12/1/06

 

[taramichelle]

dont let him in if its going to ruin the experience for you..I had my mom and best friend with me. I just had my baby dec 22 and havent spoke with the father since july 7th. sometimes its just better that way hun. I wont tell  you that you'll never feel sad about it, there will be times that you do, but when your baby is here nothing else matters and when you feel those sad times just look at your precious baby and remember he is all yours! you'll get thru it, we all do..it gets easier every day...keep your head up!

[giannakylie]

I can completley relate. When I found out I was pregnate my daughter's father wanted me to have an abortion and when I siad no he said that I would raising my daughter on my own. She is now almost 13 mo. and he has never seen her. He wanted to but I told him to take to me court because I will not have someone coming in and out of her life she needs stability. You need to do what is best for you. Do you have a close family support, because if you do then you'll be fine. As far as delivery If I were you I would not want any around who I was not getting along with because when those pains hit you will be cursing him out! lol! Just let him know when this baby comes he needs to be there for the baby. I wish you the best of luck.

[sosojenn]

Not that this is gonna make u feel better but....my daughter's father has been completely detached from it since I first found out I was pregnant...my daughter will be 3 years old in March.....the only time he saw her was for a court date when she was 5 months old. He has no interest in his offspring whatsoever.
It's kind of odd how some men can completely disassociate themselves from their responsibilities.

HOT MAMA'S IN TH3 WASHINGTON D.C. M3TRO!