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child support

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies

how do i know how much child support i will get.?  and what if he has a second job that pays under the table, how do i get child support from that?  what about visitation.  Will they let him have visistation if hes a heavy drinker and abusive.?bummed_out

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 15, 2014 at 1:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
krisnkids
by Gold Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 1:21 PM

Search for your state's child support calculator. If you can prove under the table pay then you can bring it up in court. You can ask for supervised visitation but it is up to the judge what kind of visitation dad will get.

amonkeymom
by Platinum Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 2:13 PM

We used our state's online calculator to determine child support.  Of course, if he's fighting it or earning money he's not reporting as you mentioned, you might need to find proof and take it to court.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 15, 2014 at 3:49 PM

I agree - the courts used the state calculator. In our state, visitation is a separate matter.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 4:11 PM
1 mom liked this

 if he is working two jobs to get by why does your hand need to be out for both?

if he works a reasonable ft job and is paying support, if he gets a side hustle it really shouldnt be any of your business.

to prevent visitation there needs to be proof not he said she said.

go file for support and file for custody in court. they will give you the paperwork. there is usually an online calculator that will give you a ballpark figure. a word of advice , get yourself as self sufficient as possible, you should never rely on someone else to support you. if they find a way out of it, youre screwed.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 15, 2014 at 4:54 PM

How involved is he now?  Because if he's not, my advice would be to NOT file for support.

Cue the angry mob..."but it's the CHILD'S money!!"  "every child deserves support from BOTH parents!!!"  "why should mom have to struggle??"  Yep - heard it all.  BTDT.  Been the one angrily protesting when offered the same advice.

File for child support and faster than you can say deadbeat dad, he's going to want as much custody as possible, because in most states, the amount of child support is based on the amount of time spent with each parent.  So - a dad that has 50/50 custody will pay less than a dad who only has EOWE.

He abusive?  To you or to the child?  Courts don't care if he abused you.  If he's abused the child, you need to be able to prove it.  Even then, he can likely take some classes and be awarded custody.  Unless CPS and the police have been involved, don't count on it mattering in court.

Heavy drinker?  How many DUIs does he have?  None?  Then it's just your word against his.  One or two?  Okay - well then you'll be held responsible for transportation and he'll be ordered not to drive with the child in the car.

I know all of this must sound very depressing and unfair and it is.  But - I've sat for literally hundreds of hours in court over the last 8 years and listened to case after case after case.  Where dad admitted to beating mom.  Judge ordered they conduct exchanges at the police station.  Dad still got 50/50.  Where mom was in jail for theft and drugs and dad was ordered to bring the child to visit her there.  Where dad hit the kid, in front of teachers and on camera.  Visitaion was ordered supervised for 6 months (mom had to share in the cost) while dad went to counseling and took classes.

And just because you get a child support order, doesn't mean he'll pay.  If he's able to make money under the table as you say, he'll just do more of that.  You'll have to PROVE you know he's doing so, like proof as in spending lots and lots of $$$ to subpeona records or hire a private investigator.  And even if you CAN prove it, still doesn't mean he'll pay.  There are thousands of parents out there owed millions of dollars in CS.  No one is going to hold his hand and force him to pay.  If he continues to work a regular job his wages can be garnished, but you saying he works under the table indicates he's capable of making money with no record of it.

Also - if you are going to go into court with allegations of abuse and drinking, prepare to be asked about anytime you left your child in his care unsupervised.  That will be used against you and it can be argued that you aren't the best mother either for leaving your child with a man you claim is a threat to your child.

The system SUCKS.  I strongly suggest leaving well enough alone.  The pittance you *might* get in support is not worth it.

Oliviasmom72
by Gold Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 5:11 PM

You need to see if your state has a child support calculator. Google it and do not sugar coat anything. Also if you google your states child support guidelines that any times has an excel attached to it. You have no way to prove the second job under the table. My state AZ allows a second job to be worked anyways without calculating child support, you should not get both unless he has 2 part time jobs that equal 1 full time income. File on what income you can prove and what his W2 or last paystub says. If you claim he is abusive and a heavy drinker and he disputes it, be prepared to prove it. You cannot expect he is going to pay child support and be om with no visitation. If he asks for it he will likely be granted unless you can prove he is a danger to the child.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 15, 2014 at 5:27 PM

You also need to be prepared to have similar accusations made against you.  Sit in court a few days..... you'll hear all kinds of accusations.  Drugs, alcohol, physical and sexual abuse, neglect...... judges hear it day in and day out.  If you don't have proof, they don't care.  Anyone can say anything they want.   

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 15, 2014 at 6:09 PM

wow so much hostility.  wow i was looking for answers and i feel a lot of hate in your replys.  sheesh.  i can prove the abuse becasue its went on for 5 years.  hes had duis been in trouble for fights assalut drinking violence abuse. so yes i can prove it.  and as far as his second job its not to get by its to have extra money he make splenty from his first job its extra and i was just wondering about it because i know they go off of all of their income.  so under the table income should count.  also he makes 3x as much as me so i dont feel bad about him having to pay off of both jobs.  he has plenty of money.  also im in utah where the laws are probably a lot different from a lot of you who replied.  utah is all about the mom.  as a woman whos endured a very abusive relationship i'm appalled at how hostile a lot of you were to me.  he also did get arrested for domestic violence in front of a child- so yes i have plenty of proof" as you say.  he almost killed me and im shocked at how quick you were all to defend him..  wow.... i dont think i like this site. crazy women on here.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Oct. 15, 2014 at 7:13 PM
If he "makes plenty of money" at his first job and you can't prove the second you're not going to get it.

It's not hostility. We've all been through it said the same things went through court and been verbally bitch slapped by judges. We've all gave advice nicely.

Did YOUHave him arrested for the abuse against you? You might have something there but if you didn't his arrests aren't going to count for much especially if they are old. My SO has two strikes and still has his kids a third Of the time (it was long ago)

If you live in a mother's state like you say go ahead and file and see. I feel bad for good fathers who live in mother's states. Not all ex bf and husbands are abusive assholes. That is why most other states have turned against this model.


Quoting Anonymous 1:

wow so much hostility.  wow i was looking for answers and i feel a lot of hate in your replys.  sheesh.  i can prove the abuse becasue its went on for 5 years.  hes had duis been in trouble for fights assalut drinking violence abuse. so yes i can prove it.  and as far as his second job its not to get by its to have extra money he make splenty from his first job its extra and i was just wondering about it because i know they go off of all of their income.  so under the table income should count.  also he makes 3x as much as me so i dont feel bad about him having to pay off of both jobs.  he has plenty of money.  also im in utah where the laws are probably a lot different from a lot of you who replied.  utah is all about the mom.  as a woman whos endured a very abusive relationship i'm appalled at how hostile a lot of you were to me.  he also did get arrested for domestic violence in front of a child- so yes i have plenty of proof" as you say.  he almost killed me and im shocked at how quick you were all to defend him..  wow.... i dont think i like this site. crazy women on here.

Callaly
by Jessica on Oct. 15, 2014 at 7:24 PM
Ugh an anon wanting to know how much cs they will get.. File and see what your state comes up with, under the table job is not counted unless you have proof and it's pretty hard to prove that..
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