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He asked about DDs birthday

Posted by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 8:33 AM
  • 26 Replies

 Me and my ex have been broken up for 4 years. DD is about to turn 5 in a month and he texted me yesterday asking me what my plan was for her birthday.

I told him that I wasn't really sure yet and then he proceeded to tell me about his plans and then asked how many people on my side will be coming

WHAT?!

Would you be able to have a birthday party for your child with your ex and his family?

 

I am VERY different since we broke up, but him asking me that just put me back to where I was when I was 19 and pregnant and super scared of him and his family.

by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 8:33 AM
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Replies (1-10):
krisnkids
by Gold Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 8:50 AM

Do you get along with his family?

gypsy30
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 8:54 AM
1 mom liked this

I think it was nice of him to ask you to come.  It would be good if you could get along for your dd, and be able to be in the same room together.  But I know that's not possible with every break up.   If you think you can do it, I would go.  

RonaH
by Bronze Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 8:57 AM

Well its tricky I don't know how your relationsip is... but maybe now that you moved on things will be diffrent? Only you know if you want to enter those waters. lol

Perle1
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:01 AM
You can always have a separate party at I our place if you are uncomfortable with it. I've seen it done both ways. My parents did have joint parties for me and my brothers, but my mom's family lived on the other side of the country so she just came to my dad's patents. Lots of divorced couples have separate celebrations. Go with what you are comfortable with. If you think it will be awful, don't set a precedent.
Callaly
by Jessica on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:08 AM

 No way. Not even close.

I get nervous just thinking about it, I am telling you that they are so intimidating lol

Quoting krisnkids:

Do you get along with his family?

 

Callaly
by Jessica on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:10 AM

 It was really nice, and its a huge step forward for him accepting that we are really divorced, but I am not comfortable with it.

Quoting gypsy30:

I think it was nice of him to ask you to come.  It would be good if you could get along for your dd, and be able to be in the same room together.  But I know that's not possible with every break up.   If you think you can do it, I would go.  

 

Nutball3
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:11 AM
We do seperate parties. My ex can't be trusted to not be drunk or high and his parents treat me like crap and talk shit about me to anyone who will listen.

You don't have to let him run the show. Thank him for the offer but tell him you will be making your own plans.

Sometimes the easiest explanation is none at all. You don't have to justify anything to him.

Your relationship sounds similar to mine. PM me if you want.
Callaly
by Jessica on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:11 AM

 His family is very.. over powering? I think that if I were to join parties with him my family and SOs family would just feel like fish out of water, and going to my childs birthday would feel more like a chore then actual fun.

Quoting RonaH:

Well its tricky I don't know how your relationsip is... but maybe now that you moved on things will be diffrent? Only you know if you want to enter those waters. lol

 

gypsy30
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:14 AM
2 moms liked this

That's understandable.  So I would just tell him that you have your own thing going for her birthday but thanks for the invite.

Quoting Callaly:

 It was really nice, and its a huge step forward for him accepting that we are really divorced, but I am not comfortable with it.

Quoting gypsy30:

I think it was nice of him to ask you to come.  It would be good if you could get along for your dd, and be able to be in the same room together.  But I know that's not possible with every break up.   If you think you can do it, I would go.  

 


krisnkids
by Gold Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:28 AM

Then just say thanks but you prefer to do separate parties. He'll live.

Quoting Callaly:

 No way. Not even close.

I get nervous just thinking about it, I am telling you that they are so intimidating lol

Quoting krisnkids:

Do you get along with his family?

 


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