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Getting over it!

Posted by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 6:33 PM
  • 16 Replies

So how do you truly get over a person? Do those feelings you have ever fade? Or are they so strong you feel like you want to turn around and go back? These are a few of the many questions that ramble through my mind on a daily basis. Could things ever change? Maybe we could work things out and be a family again? But then all the negative thoughts of moments past spring about and gives me a jolt. But then the loneliness creeps in and here come the questions. Ugh! Its a roller coaster and I want to get off at the next stop. So, how can we finally shut the door and open a window and let some fresh air in? Come on ladies tell us how you have let go of the past and said HELLO to the future?  


by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 6:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ame4c
by Group Admin on Nov. 4, 2014 at 6:38 PM

 One day at a time sweety..... One day at a time.

Focus on you and your children.  Do things that make you happy and keep yourself busy.  I volunteered at Church and went to a Divorce Care class.  This was kind of like a support group for people getting divorced.  You can check and see if there is a class offered in your area here -->> http://www.divorcecare.org/

 

brieri
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 8:32 PM

It was not easy.  It took me years, but it's not all my fault.  It takes two to tanglo and two work on it.  I wanted it to work, He didn't and I fell through hard times.  When I am with people, I feel good, when I am alone, sometimes I like the solitary, sometimes not.  BUt its better than ever to this day. 

cjsmom1
by Group Admin on Nov. 5, 2014 at 12:19 AM
1 mom liked this
It took me a couple years after we broke up to realize that our relationship wasn't healthy. Once I realized that it was easier to move on because I stopped focus on 'what went wrong'. There are still some days that I wish we had a 'normal' family but I know things are better the way they are right now.
Gianna2014
by Member on Nov. 5, 2014 at 8:37 AM

I left my ex before I knew I was pregnant and I left him because I didn't think I was in love with him (although I did love him) and I thought it was better to leave now, than to wait until I was settled down with kids.

Unfortunately, I was already pregnant. If I had known, I would have stayed with him... He's a great guy, has a good job, always treated me well, no addiction trouble, he's faithful... but I was selfishly unhappy, just wanting more.

He's engaged now and I guess he's happy...I guess I got what I deserved- many people believe this. I've discovered in therapy, that I have committment issues and I typically run from my feelings. Sometimes I wonder if it was just cold feet? I have so much mixed emotions over this... even the day I broke up with him, I felt relieved I wasn't getting married, but I still questioned if I was right to let him go. I had a feeling that I had to get out now and I said horrible, hateful things to him, but I wasn't sure where they came from.

Regardless, I know his fiancee isn't the reason we aren't together... the reason is me. I made it too difficult for him, I pushed him away as hard as I could.

Callaly
by Jessica on Nov. 5, 2014 at 10:10 AM
1 mom liked this

Eventually I after my split I came out of my shell, I stopped thinking about what could have been and just re-found myself and vowed that I would NEVER lose that person again.

 

Frances0923
by Silver Member on Nov. 5, 2014 at 11:08 AM
1 mom liked this

I get over a person with time. Thankfully, I have my job and son that keep me busy throughout the day. And some amazing friends that keep me busy throughout the weekends that my son goes with his father. I;ve been in a relationship for the last four years but if something ever happens and its time to let go, I know that Time is the only thing that will help moving on

JJLove14
by on Nov. 6, 2014 at 1:43 AM

This might sound bad... But rebounding has generally been my only new hope trick. Didn't even have to be actually hooking up or a relationship, just a Saturday here and there while my folks watch the kiddos and I actually do something with myself to look good and grab a drink date or snag a gf to go out with me so I can flirt it up. Sometimes it would take MANY, MANY outings before I'd bump into someone who could help me forget. But, it eased the pain in the meantime and I feel it helped me move on quicker. My ex husband was the WORST because I was totally dependent on him and had our children... That was a freaking sob fest. I should have dragged my ass out of bed, brushed my damn teeth and gone out. A good pout session is good and self reflection but eventually I think you have to just force yourself to listen to some loud music, have a cocktail and chat up every guy you see to fully move on.

PinkEminem
by on Nov. 6, 2014 at 3:18 AM

I guess you just have to remind yourself of why you're not together anymore. I'm going through the same thing right now, and that's the only thing that seems to make any sense to me. I just have to remember, that when my lonliness creeps up, that he's never going to change, and that I'm not willing to accept any less than I deserve.

want10more
by on Nov. 6, 2014 at 3:30 AM

when my ex left me, i thot i'd just die. i didn't. he wasn't a very nice hubby, but i thot i loved him. enter new hubby. and NOW i know what love is like...... my ex cheated on me and beat me senseless. and yet at one time i almost threw over my new (then bf) hubby to go back to the jerk, cuz it was still really raw and we have a child together, etc etc. i didn't go back. it's very easy to remember the good times and ignore the bad ones. and YES after some time, my ex and i are in good footing again. i'd not ever go back to him, not even if my new hubby wasn't in the picture. but my feelings for him are very strong, as the dad of my (our) boy. that means i hope the best for him always, i'm glad he's my good friend now. we will always have our son. but for you? if counseling doesn't help, then you might have to cut that cord too. damn skippy it hurts like hell. i guess for you, if you go to counseling and it doesn't help? and you guys have a child together? then you can do what i did. FEEL the hurt that he brought to you. let it wash over you. allow yourself to feel it, know it's not your fault. and then let it drain from your head to your feet. and feel that release. i have nothing left but good feelings towards my ex. cuz i don't have to try to get his love anymore.

want10more
by on Nov. 6, 2014 at 3:35 AM

 i don't think you sound BAD. but yet, i don't think that's the best way either. once the marriage and/or relationship is dead and gone? some lbd and a few cocktails in a club, getting attn from the men in the room might just tickle your pickle. going HOME w/ them? if that's what you meant? nah, that's something i'd not suggest. that's kinda like saying, ok USE me to make ME feel better. but yes i do understand what you mean.

Quoting JJLove14:

This might sound bad... But rebounding has generally been my only new hope trick. Didn't even have to be actually hooking up or a relationship, just a Saturday here and there while my folks watch the kiddos and I actually do something with myself to look good and grab a drink date or snag a gf to go out with me so I can flirt it up. Sometimes it would take MANY, MANY outings before I'd bump into someone who could help me forget. But, it eased the pain in the meantime and I feel it helped me move on quicker. My ex husband was the WORST because I was totally dependent on him and had our children... That was a freaking sob fest. I should have dragged my ass out of bed, brushed my damn teeth and gone out. A good pout session is good and self reflection but eventually I think you have to just force yourself to listen to some loud music, have a cocktail and chat up every guy you see to fully move on.

 

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