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Raising a Son Without a Healthy Male Role Model?? (New Member Introduction)

Posted by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 10:42 PM
  • 8 Replies

Hello. I am new to this group and wanted to introduce myself. I am in my late 20's and am a brand new mama to a beautiful 8 month old. I decided to be a single mom when I found out I was pregnant. I was with the father for a long time off and on. The off and on part should be a hint, but it wasn't exactly a healthy relationship. He is very disfunctional and I have done a lot of self healing and growing that I wonder what I ever saw in him!! I don't have much family or friend support, so often I feel alone. I should note however, I do have my sister who is a BIG help emotionally! The father comes around once a week to "help". I am struggling with some mild post partum anxiety (I have already seeked help for this) and wondering how I am going to raise my son without a healthy male role model.( I mentioned I don't have much family, I don't speak to my father.) So, I am wanting to reach out and talk with/hear other single strong women with helpfull postive advice or even listen to other venting and just know that I am not alone! I think evem that will help. <3

by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 10:42 PM
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Replies (1-8):
moosesmom
by Silver Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:45 PM
2 moms liked this
Welcome to the group!

Who's to say you'll be raising him without a male role model? You have no idea what the future holds for the two of you. And don't spend time focusing on that anyway. Take this all day by day. Focus more on raising a healthy, happy child and less on what you feel he may be missing out on. Good luck.
cjsmom1
by Group Admin on Nov. 5, 2014 at 12:23 AM
2 moms liked this

Welcome!! You can raise him to be a good decent man without him having a strong male role model. I think that no male role model is better than a bad one. If you get concerned as he gets older you could always look into a big brother program.

ame4c
by Group Admin on Nov. 5, 2014 at 6:13 AM
1 mom liked this
Welcome. Focus on you and your baby the rest will fall into place.
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Nov. 5, 2014 at 6:16 PM
1 mom liked this

 do you ahve any brothers? long term male friends?

the dad may have his sisues but if he is around weekly he is involved. hopefully he grows, matures and sticks around. it is healthy for kids to have a strong relationship wi both their parents.

Shy_Dia
by Silver Member on Nov. 5, 2014 at 6:55 PM
1 mom liked this
My ex's dad was raised by only a single mother. His dad wasn't around and she refused to bring any man into her sons life. He grew into such a respectable man. He actually terrifies me lol but he had no real male influence, just knew what his mom expected of him.

Thankfully there are programs nowadays though if you're really worried. You can look into church groups, the big brother program, boys and girls club, sports, etc.
lancet98
by on Nov. 5, 2014 at 7:56 PM
1 mom liked this

It's not mandatory.

Really.

It's not.

Boys pick up male role models from elsewhere when they don't have a dad around.  

A friend of mine had a teacher he was really good friends with, and he picked up a lot of his ideas of how to be a man from the teacher.  Any time he needed a male role model to help him sort something out, he chose one.

LifeCafe42
by on Nov. 6, 2014 at 8:09 AM
Welcome! I have friends his grandpas and I also have him in karate which has been great for him
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ko912
by on Nov. 6, 2014 at 9:32 AM
1 mom liked this
I left my son's father because he was not a good role model. He was verbally and emotionally abusive. We moved across the country and I am raising him alone. I also feel that no role model is better than a bad one. Just love him and do the best you can. He will turn out fine. I also think theBig Brother program would be a good option. Good luck Mom.
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