Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

SAHM to Single Mom

Posted by on Nov. 8, 2014 at 1:59 AM
  • 56 Replies
So after 10 years of a solid relationship I am now single with 2 kids, ages 4 and 9. I don't know what to do. I've filed for child support, waiting for the court date. I had to move in with my mother in a small two bedroom house. I sleep on the couch. I have no work history, no vehicle, and no idea where to start. I got approved for foodstamps, but other than that my income is less than 500 a month from what I get from the ex for right now out of pocket. How do I begin to find work or a vehicle. I turn in applications and never get call backs. My son just turned 4 so he is too young for school. I have no babysitters and no daycares near me. My mom doesn't watch them, she works and is either asleep or not home. I need advice on what to look for, hud housing, day jobs, whatever it is that I'm missing. I can't seem to win for nothing at the moment. It's really beginning to tear me down. Please tell me there is hope!
by on Nov. 8, 2014 at 1:59 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
want10more
by on Nov. 8, 2014 at 3:39 AM
3 moms liked this

go to college. in your situation, you'll not only get your education? but financial aid, and most likely family housing for you and your kids. this is the perfect time for you to go for whatever you've ever dreamed of.... tho i know it's scary as hell. but you can do this, and really, you must. with an education you can become the breadwinner! you can schedule your classes around preschool and elementary school... and there are people at the school that can help you do that. of COURSE there's hope! not only that, it's an OPPORTUNITY for you! you are on the next leg of your life... make it count, and look back in 10 yrs and say to yourself, YUP i did that! you can! Godspeed my girl!

RocknRoll.Rose
by Bronze Member on Nov. 8, 2014 at 3:48 AM
2 moms liked this
I bet you were one of those women who said that she didn't need to work and support herself or get an education because her husband would never leave her.

I really don't know what tto tell you. Go for any job you can get (Burger King, McDonalds, Wal-Mart) and that will be something for your resume. Maybe you can look into a work from home job or go back to school. Ask around because there has to be other working mothers in your area so there must be daycares or people willing to babysit. Try care.com. I've heard good things about that site. Maybe you can talk to your mother about working opposite schedules for a while. Good luck to you. I hope it all works out.
LifeCafe42
by on Nov. 8, 2014 at 6:56 AM
Start anywhere the holidays are good for retail jobs to get started. Go to school take each day as it comes
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ayacocca
by Bronze Member on Nov. 8, 2014 at 8:17 AM
Such awesome advice!

Quoting want10more:

go to college. in your situation, you'll not only get your education? but financial aid, and most likely family housing for you and your kids. this is the perfect time for you to go for whatever you've ever dreamed of.... tho i know it's scary as hell. but you can do this, and really, you must. with an education you can become the breadwinner! you can schedule your classes around preschool and elementary school... and there are people at the school that can help you do that. of COURSE there's hope! not only that, it's an OPPORTUNITY for you! you are on the next leg of your life... make it count, and look back in 10 yrs and say to yourself, YUP i did that! you can! Godspeed my girl!

Frances0923
by Silver Member on Nov. 8, 2014 at 9:11 AM
no work experience at all??? You must have done something geeze Lie on your resume lol. I have no idea what to tell you. That is why I never became a SAHM. Education is very important, go to school maybe the ones that finds you a job right after
CampClan
by Bronze Member on Nov. 8, 2014 at 9:19 AM
1 mom liked this

I went from SAHM to single as well. 4 kids at that time- youngest was 2. I went to work part time for a real estate agent who managed condo communities. She needed someone to walk around the properties & do inspections (making sure the homeowners were following the rules). I was able to take my DS with me while the older 3 were in school. 

Then I applied for childcare assistance & put them all in daycare while I went back to work for my high school employer (McDonalds). I worked there for a year when I heard the daycare the kids attended was looking for a toddler teacher. I applied & have been there for 7 years now! At first I got free daycare because the company was small & the owner paid my assistance fee. But the company got bought out a few years ago & luckily the new company honored our original hire dates & I get a GREAT discount on fees. Plus I only have 1 kid who needs care now (my kinder son who wasn't even in the picture when I became single).

IDK about a car though. Maybe try a buy here pay here lot?

Mamavelt
by Bronze Member on Nov. 8, 2014 at 9:46 AM
3 moms liked this

I am so sorry for your situation.  Please excuse the people who made harsh comments - they forgot that we all have our own experiences and make choices for personal reasons.  I know how scary it can be - I was a sahm for 12 years and the only work experience I had was really my x who was not a great reference during a divorce.  

First count your blessings and be grateful that you are getting any financial support and have a safe place for you and your kids to stay. Always appreciate what you do have.

Next - someone suggested working opposite schedule with your mom - since you have one that needs daycare...this is probably a good option.  I would look for any night shift job I could find - waitressing, cleaning offices, convenience store, stocking overnight, factory.  Not glamorous, but you need $ coming in. And it will begin to build work experience and a resume and network.  I would also say the best thing you can do is let people know you are looking. - tell people your situation and be honest.  People can relate and you may find someone who sympathizes or someone who knows about a job lead or has other resources that might help you (like a lead on daycare options or other services).  

While I agree that you need to have a long term plan for education or career training, you also need to work immediately.  For know make getting a job your job.  Submit applications every single day. Scout your neighborhood for "wanted" signs. Check community postings and boards like Craigslist.  You should be looking for a job several hours per day. Also start thinking about interviewing.  You have been out of the game for a long time, so prep name...start thinking what you would wear on an interview.  How would you answer questions about your education, experience and lack of work history.  Be prepared...they will ask. 


Good luck to you Mama. I know that the shock, pain and fear can be overwhelming. But I promise you will get past this.  One day you will look back at this and you will be amazed how far you have come. You just have to do something every single day to improve your situation.

MyHeartDA
by Member on Nov. 8, 2014 at 9:56 AM
The state will pay for daycare if your in school or working. Get an entry level job so you can learn a skill. You can do this, I have been a single mom since my kids were born basically and its hard but get up and do what you have to to take care of your self and your kids, they need you to be strong and thank god you have a place to stay, a vehicle and. You are healthy.
MyHeartDA
by Member on Nov. 8, 2014 at 9:56 AM
The state will pay for daycare if your in school or working. Get an entry level job so you can learn a skill. You can do this, I have been a single mom since my kids were born basically and its hard but get up and do what you have to to take care of your self and your kids, they need you to be strong and thank god you have a place to stay, a vehicle and. You are healthy.
MyHeartDA
by Member on Nov. 8, 2014 at 9:56 AM
The state will pay for daycare if your in school or working. Get an entry level job so you can learn a skill. You can do this, I have been a single mom since my kids were born basically and its hard but get up and do what you have to to take care of your self and your kids, they need you to be strong and thank god you have a place to stay, a vehicle and. You are healthy.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)