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Anyone ever reconciled after filling for separation?????

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:16 PM
  • 11 Replies

Just filled my papers and I am all over the map.....emotionally....I was so absolutly sure and now I am like Alice falling down the rabbit whole...I feel like this Legal separation is taking on a life of its own and I must simply move forward...can anyone find their way back when they are so deep in the woods...have any of you ever re-united and if so what is YOUR story.......banging head into wall

by on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ame4c
by Group Admin on Dec. 4, 2014 at 1:21 PM
I was going to file for seperation but my lawyer told me about 90% of them end in divorce and you end up paying twice. He said if I filed for divorce and we got back together you could still cancel everything. Good thing too as I found out I was not the only woman my husband of the time was dating.
Frances0923
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2014 at 2:15 PM
1 mom liked this

We re-united as bestfriends. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 5, 2014 at 12:19 AM
1 mom liked this
I think I'm close to reconciling with my ex but I'm so confused. We've been separated for 5 months and it's so HARD! My son feels like his life is torn apart because of the split, life is so much more stressful doing it all on my own, it's scary and my ex desperately wants me back. I miss him sometimes but I don't want to go back to him unless I know I'm making the right decision. And it doesn't help that the holidays are here and our 8th anniversary is on Christmas Eve. I just always feel so lovey dovey this time of year and I need to snap out of it. Being a single mom is so difficult, but I don't want to go back to him just to feel safe. I guess we'll just wait and see what happens.

I did have a friend who got a divorce from her husband, was single for a year, then they reconciled and got remarried. They're happier than ever now and it's very inspiring.
Charlotte1608
by on Dec. 5, 2014 at 1:51 AM
1 mom liked this

Yup. Me and my DH reconciled 2 years ago today. We were separated for 18 months, he moved to another country and we had nothing to do with each other (he used to ring every 3 months or so). we split after our DD was born 3 months early. The stress of a preemie just broke our marriage. Anyway I was a bit iffy about things at the end of our separation and I realised I wanted my DH back. So yeah. it has been tough at times but all in all it's going well.

Callaly
by Jessica on Dec. 5, 2014 at 7:59 AM

No I didn't people just don't change, so you cant expect him to change, only change yourself.. and you should never have to change yourself to be with someone else.

I hope that you figure everything out.

mommymonkey
by on Dec. 5, 2014 at 8:08 AM

My ex and I were separated for 7 months. We tried to put our relationship back together, but it just didn't work, there was no trust and no love left. I couldn't get past my hurt, and was confused by everything I felt. Did I love him and want it to work? Did I hate him? Did I want to be with him? Did I just not want to be alone? Sometimes I felt every emotion in the same day, and sometimes I just felt nothing for him.

Needless to say, reconciliation didn't happen. 12 years later, I am so thankful that I pushed the divorce! I've been with my husband for 10 years, married for 7, and am incredibly happy. My ex is still bouncing from job to job, place to place, and relationship to relationship.

cie
by on Dec. 5, 2014 at 1:04 PM


Quoting Anonymous 1: I think I'm close to reconciling with my ex but I'm so confused. We've been separated for 5 months and it's so HARD! My son feels like his life is torn apart because of the split, life is so much more stressful doing it all on my own, it's scary and my ex desperately wants me back. I miss him sometimes but I don't want to go back to him unless I know I'm making the right decision. And it doesn't help that the holidays are here and our 8th anniversary is on Christmas Eve. I just always feel so lovey dovey this time of year and I need to snap out of it. Being a single mom is so difficult, but I don't want to go back to him just to feel safe. I guess we'll just wait and see what happens. I did have a friend who got a divorce from her husband, was single for a year, then they reconciled and got remarried. They're happier than ever now and it's very inspiring.

I feel so sad for you becasue I completly understand...the kids hurting is the worst...and being confussed adds a whole different dynamic then one might expect...

zumbanerd
by Bronze Member on Dec. 5, 2014 at 1:16 PM

I separated from my ex when my daughter was about 3 years old. We stayed separated for a year and then we got back together to try to get our marriage to work. That lasted another year and then I decided to divorce him for a mulitude of reasons. And I will never go back. I'm much happier today than I was during my whole marriage.

LifeCafe42
by on Dec. 6, 2014 at 9:19 AM
Separation is a trial before divorce work on it counseling talk about it. If that's what you want then do what you can to make it work
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 6, 2014 at 9:29 AM
Ditto.

Quoting ame4c: I was going to file for seperation but my lawyer told me about 90% of them end in divorce and you end up paying twice. He said if I filed for divorce and we got back together you could still cancel everything. Good thing too as I found out I was not the only woman my husband of the time was dating.
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