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What 3 words do your kids hate the most?

Posted by on Jan. 14, 2015 at 9:17 AM
  • 12 Replies

The 3 Words My Kids Hate the Most (& I Do Too) 


 
The three words my kids hate most in the universe? It's not "Christmas is over" or "Time for homework." It's not even "The wi-fi's out." (Although maybe you'd count that as four.) From the picture above, you can probably guess: It's "In a minute." And I've come to realize those are some of the worst words a mother can say.

Sure, we live in a pretty child-centric world. Not that long ago, parents had kids just so they could get some help on the farm during harvest season. Kids were seen and not heard, and certainly not shuttled around to dance and soccer and expensive indoor playgrounds.

Thank goodness parenting has changed. Today, we respect our kids. And encourage them. We worry about their feelings and futures and go to great lengths to cut crusts off sandwiches. But what we don't do as well? Give them our undivided attention.

Because I work from home, I am a master of multi-tasking. I can type on my computer, text from my phone, shush the dog because her archenemy, the mailman, has arrived, while also apologizing to the mailman in case my dog is hurting his feelings. I can do this while popping popcorn.  I'm not saying being able to parse out my attention like this is good (really, it's not) just that I can do it. But when my daughter or son ask me a question in the same time period mentioned above, here's what I usually say: "In a minute."

Sure, I add a "sweetie" on the end of that, but it doesn't really soften the blow. In essence, I'm telling my kids that they're less a priority than the mailman, the barking dog, the urgent work email and the random text I'm answering which, ironically, is probably about setting up a playdate for them.

I am not so deluded that I believe my children are little suns, and my whole life revolves around them. (I think those women are called "Dance Moms.") But I do think that they should be treated with respect and know that they are my priorities, not just additional items on my to-do list.

I wouldn't dream of telling an editor, "In a minute." (While texting and making popcorn, no less.) So why is it okay for me to habitually put off my kids? Because of my unrealistic desire to "Get Everything Done," I have gotten behind in preparing dinner, helping with homework, even reading bedtime stories. 

In a sneaky trick of time, that "one" minute has stretched to two, then three... "When you say one minute, you mean five," my son pointed out reproachfully to me just the other day.

Of course, that can work to their advantage when I'm behind in say, enforcing the end of screentime. But even then, I know it's something both my kids would change about me.

And me, too. I've started setting a timer for exactly one minute and when it beeps, I stop working as promised (rather than pretend I didn't hear it.) But my bad habit won't be that easy to get rid of: Recently, when I called my son to the table for dinner, he didn't even look up from the book he was reading.

"Aren't you coming?" I asked.

"In a minute," he said, and with the same faraway tone that I recognize all too well.

Do you feel guilty when you have to put off your kids?

by on Jan. 14, 2015 at 9:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ame4c
by Group Admin on Jan. 14, 2015 at 10:17 AM
1 mom liked this
No because I make a point to spend time with them. Special alone time with each of them as well as family dinner time. I work and have to divert my attentions when I am working but when it comes to my family they get priority time too.

Woman are groomed to feel guilty if they have to work outside the home and in this day and age it is almost mandatory to make ends meet. I chose to keep healthy boundaries between my work and family.
wise.toes
by on Jan. 14, 2015 at 10:28 AM
1 mom liked this

i really don't like this.

why can't we be busy? why can't we have other things to attend to? my children aren't the be all, end all of my world. i can't possibly be at my son's beck and call each of the (seemingly) 1000s of times he comes to me throughout just the morning. 

this isn't how life works and i'd be doing my children a disservice to teach them otherwise. maybe it's this stupid mentality that has created a world of impatient people.

diaperstodating
by Queen24Princes on Jan. 14, 2015 at 12:00 PM
1 mom liked this
No. I also make it a point to spend time with them.
diaperstodating
by Queen24Princes on Jan. 15, 2015 at 11:29 AM
I think this article is ridiculous! This article especially does not belong in this group.
Karen24
by Silver Member on Jan. 15, 2015 at 11:54 AM
1 mom liked this
Waiting is a part of life. We all have to wait for things. The important thing is making time to spend with your kids and giving them each your undivided attention when necessary.
Frances0923
by Silver Member on Jan. 15, 2015 at 3:37 PM
1 mom liked this

Lol my son puts me off! The kid is 9 going on 15. I have a mommy and son date at Outback Steak house every Thursday night for dinner and within those two hours I get all of his attention. Its great. Plus we do lots of activities together. But seriously, his friends come over and I do not exist for a couple of hours. 

diaperstodating
by Queen24Princes on Jan. 15, 2015 at 3:41 PM
1 mom liked this

That is sweet!

boy kissing mom

Quoting Frances0923:

Lol my son puts me off! The kid is 9 going on 15. I have a mommy and son date at Outback Steak house every Thursday night for dinner and within those two hours I get all of his attention. Its great. Plus we do lots of activities together. But seriously, his friends come over and I do not exist for a couple of hours. 


diaperstodating
by Queen24Princes on Jan. 15, 2015 at 9:17 PM
How was your mom and son date today?

Quoting Frances0923:

Lol my son puts me off! The kid is 9 going on 15. I have a mommy and son date at Outback Steak house every Thursday night for dinner and within those two hours I get all of his attention. Its great. Plus we do lots of activities together. But seriously, his friends come over and I do not exist for a couple of hours. 

LifeCafe42
by on Jan. 15, 2015 at 11:40 PM
How was date night?

Quoting Frances0923:

Lol my son puts me off! The kid is 9 going on 15. I have a mommy and son date at Outback Steak house every Thursday night for dinner and within those two hours I get all of his attention. Its great. Plus we do lots of activities together. But seriously, his friends come over and I do not exist for a couple of hours. 

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cjsmom1
by Group Admin on Jan. 16, 2015 at 1:10 AM

Sometimes. Being a working mom is hard because I feel like every moment I'm not working should be spnt with ds. On the other hand though things need to get done so I can't always be focused on ds

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