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Help! Been at this too long.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 6 Replies
Ok so my baby daddy and I have been together almost 7 years. We have two kids together as well. I was 20 when we got together and he was my boss at work. I was head over heels with his looks and personality. Also having only 1 boyfriend before him hadn't had much experience in that area and how to know if things are good or bad relationship wise. Needless to say I was too in love with him to care. I have come to find out he is here without papers! He is not what I want for more reasons than one. He is almost eleven years older than me, has different views( especially because there is a culture difference), I have left before with the intent to not look back and have given in to is promises he said he would do. Maybe he will do them but honestly I tired of waiting. I feel like I have lost my love, respect, want to be with him. It's easy to say to leave but my 5 yr old and 16 month old are attached to him of course. This just breaks my heart to think of taking them away from their dad. We had decided to go bco to his country to get married there and bring him here the right way because I have never felt comfortable with the lies I've had to tell, keep up with and look my family/friends in the eye and tell them these things. So he said we would go back and then decided it wasn't q good idea to do and would be too dangerous and he may not get papers to come back because there is never a 100% guarantee that you will. So I said that if we stay here we should just get married here and he said that we should. But with no enthusiasm , excitement or want to! Obviously every girl dreams of getting married and I am no exception! He knows how bad I want to and we still haven't. But yet when I think about it why would I want to marry him now? He is not what I want. I find myself just going through the motions with him. Help!
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 23, 2015 at 1:42 AM
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Replies (1-6):
cjsmom1
by Group Admin on Feb. 23, 2015 at 2:20 AM
Don't marry him! If he is not want you want then you shouldn't marry him. Your happiness is just as important as your kids happiness. You guys can coparent so that your kids still have both of you in their lives.
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Feb. 23, 2015 at 6:58 AM

You have already wasted too much time with him . Why marry him and waste more time?

mrsary
by Gold Member on Feb. 23, 2015 at 7:21 AM
Can't he get a work Visa? Or is it too late since he is already here illegally?
Frances0923
by Silver Member on Feb. 23, 2015 at 8:05 AM
Don't marry him. Grab your children and go.
ame4c
by Group Admin on Feb. 23, 2015 at 8:12 AM
This and don't let him take your kids anywhere because if he takes them out of the country you will not get them back.

You have all the rights and power in this situation as you are legal and he is not. I would say he's probably already married in the other country.


Quoting Frances0923: Don't marry him. Grab your children and go.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 23, 2015 at 2:54 PM
Mrsary he has been here awhile without one and he was on probation 10 years which ran out 6 months ago. Thanks ladies for all the replies. I find it interesting that without telling every detail each one of you have said the same thing pretty much. I appreciate them all.
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