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Beyond frustrated and feeling bad (very long)

Posted by on Mar. 16, 2015 at 3:03 AM
  • 30 Replies

Like the title says I'm beyond frustrated and flipped out on ds today and I feel like a horrible parent.

background: Last May I got a place with my mom and supposed to be my brother and sister so that we could all save money on bills and I'd have people to help watch ds while I worked. It ended up just being my mom and I at first and my brother moved in after he lost his job. Since I make more money then my mom I have always paid more in bills. My brother has been unemployed since last August and isn't even looking for a job. Living where I am is more expensive then my last place because the house is bigger, the utilities are higher, and I buy 98% of the groceries. On top of this I do 99% of the cooking and 95% of the cleaning. This is in addition to working a full-time job, part-time job, and doing everything for ds (school activities and all sports stuff).

Several times a month I find myself losing it because no one helps clean and when I ask ds for help all he does is complain or bring up that my mom and brother don't help. I am sick of it and flipped out. I feel used, unappreciated, unloved, and stressed and I said all of that today. I feel so bad because most of my stress isn't really ds's fault. Ever since we moved in with other people he stopped helping in the house and he has developed a horrible attitude.

It's to the point that I was talking to his dad today about him taking ds. All the issues with laziness and a bad attitude that I see he doesn't have with his dad. Plus I can't take living with other people but until I find a job with normal hours I need help with ds. He will be 10 soon and can't stay home overnight by himself which means someone has to live with me to help with ds. Plus I want a smaller place so I can start paying off debt and saving more money which I can't do if I'm supporting my family. I don't really want ds to live with his dad, but I think it's the best option right now and I feel terrible.

by on Mar. 16, 2015 at 3:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
krisnkids
by Gold Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 8:23 AM
2 moms liked this

Your lease is up in May right? Give notice and go back on your own. It is not at all beneficial for you in this situation, if anything its worse than being on your own because you are funding everyone else.

Frances0923
by Silver Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 11:01 AM

I think its the best thing for DS and you. There's a good chance he will come back to you more appreciative 

kgsharber
by on Mar. 16, 2015 at 11:21 AM
Sounds like you'd save money moving out on your own and paying for a sitter.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 16, 2015 at 11:25 AM
That's why I make sure I don't have to rely on other people.
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Mar. 16, 2015 at 11:29 AM

 I would let him stay with his father for awhile.

Karen24
by Silver Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 11:36 AM
It might not be a bad idea to let him stay with his dad for awhile. Summer break is just around the corner.

Your brother is unemployed but doesn't help out around the house? If his excuse is he doesn't have the time his excuse is invalid.
RonaH
by Bronze Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 1:17 PM

I would move out. I found I saved much more money on my own then living with people that don't pull their weight. Plus the stress is gone. I would tell them now so they have plenty of time to plan. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 16, 2015 at 4:02 PM

I would move when your lease is up. Find a place for just you and your son. How far away does his father live? Can he help with the overnights? I wouldn't send him completely over to dad's but maybe when school's out for the summer let him for for a month or so?

cjsmom1
by Group Admin on Mar. 16, 2015 at 4:20 PM

Yes  my lease is up in May. I already told everyone I don't plan on living here once the school year is over.

Quoting krisnkids:

Your lease is up in May right? Give notice and go back on your own. It is not at all beneficial for you in this situation, if anything its worse than being on your own because you are funding everyone else.


cjsmom1
by Group Admin on Mar. 16, 2015 at 4:21 PM

My brother doesn't do anything to help in the house, he is in his room all day long. The only excuse is that he's lazy

Quoting Karen24: It might not be a bad idea to let him stay with his dad for awhile. Summer break is just around the corner. Your brother is unemployed but doesn't help out around the house? If his excuse is he doesn't have the time his excuse is invalid.


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