Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Custody Question in Canada

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 15 Replies

Could a court order a 14 and 12 year old to visit a father with whom a child has already said they have been abused but the father has not been charged? I know the 16 year old has a choice. Lawyer never really gives a clear answer.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:22 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
mrsary
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 7:24 PM
Bump for Canadians
amonkeymom
by Platinum Member on Apr. 6, 2015 at 12:15 PM
1 mom liked this

I have no idea, I'm in Colorado, but I would think that there needs to be some sort of proof of the abuse for the kids to be able to refuse the visitation. I think I'd be calling the lawyer back.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 6, 2015 at 12:53 PM

It is his word against theirs. Although therapist believes the child. I really just wanted to know if anyone knew if they could be forced to visit. This is beyond stressful that I may have to force them to go after finding out about abuse. I am at the end of my rope with all of this. I want it to be over. It is all consuming and it makes me regret ever leaving before the youngest was old enough to decide for themselves but I had no choice of course...


Quoting amonkeymom:

I have no idea, I'm in Colorado, but I would think that there needs to be some sort of proof of the abuse for the kids to be able to refuse the visitation. I think I'd be calling the lawyer back.


diaperstodating
by Queen24Princes on Apr. 7, 2015 at 1:00 AM

Bump

petitekatie
by on Apr. 7, 2015 at 1:12 AM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn't make them go. Get an emergency order for no visitation or only supervised.
ruby_jewel_04
by on Apr. 7, 2015 at 1:13 AM
My DD was being abused by her dad and step mom. They were never charged. But she put her foot down right after her 10th birthday and refused to go back. He hasn't seen her in over a year. She's been in therapy for PTSD, anxiety and depression for over a year and is finally almost back to normal. If the kids absolutely refuse there's isn't a lot the other parent can do.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 7, 2015 at 6:49 AM

They are on supervised visits, but he has a lot of money, he is a salesperson, by trade so he is good at swaying things in his favor, he has gone as far as saying his daughter is lying.   It is going to court by the end of this month so I am very worried as he has been going bimonthly to see the therapist in the children's therapist office and has been trying his best to put me in a bad light. I see her attitude change towards me so I am very nervous. I wrote a letter of all we endured by his hand and I hope she hears me before she makes her assessment but I have little faith. :(.


Quoting petitekatie: I wouldn't make them go. Get an emergency order for no visitation or only supervised.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 7, 2015 at 6:57 AM

What a strong little girl you have there! Just hearing what she has endured and how she stood up really just makes me want to cry. I pray her therapy helps her and she grows to do something really great in life as I am so sure she will! For me, my daughter has gone to therapy and she is believed, bu the main therapist says she has no trauma and she is fine, she says he denies anything happen and asked me what so I want to do. She says police didn't charge him. She also told me my kids can be forces to go by police. I have a family member who is a police officer and he said even with a court order they would never lay a hand on a child and force them. This therapy as it is for court is scary and intimidating. Because kiss didn't want to go to therapy she is going to write we all did not want to go and I was always late as I told them the time I could come which was half an hour after the time they wanted me to come but they still would write the original time. So very worried. 

Quoting ruby_jewel_04: My DD was being abused by her dad and step mom. They were never charged. But she put her foot down right after her 10th birthday and refused to go back. He hasn't seen her in over a year. She's been in therapy for PTSD, anxiety and depression for over a year and is finally almost back to normal. If the kids absolutely refuse there's isn't a lot the other parent can do.


cjsmom1
by Group Admin on Apr. 7, 2015 at 7:44 AM
I would think that the kids are old enough to make that decision. I'd ask their therapist if she thinks it's in the kits next interest not to see dad, of she agrees its all her for a letter staying so
Linda_Runs
by on Apr. 7, 2015 at 7:58 AM

I work in the family legal profession in Canada.  I am not sure why there was no clear legal advice provided, because, although the issue is very subjective, seldom objective, the method to address it is clear.

First of all, child protection comes under provincial jurisdiction, but some common rules do apply.  In Ontario (most provincial systems seem to follow Ontario rules), children 16 years or over do NOT fall under child protection services (CAS for Ontario).  For 12 and 14 year olds, if there is legitimate abuse going on, contact your local child protection service.  If the children to not want to visit for reasons of abuse, deny the access based on that and tell the police this if they get involved.

To answer the question clearly, a court will not make a new order for visitation if there is a legitimate and provable abuse investigation in place, whether the father has been charged or not.  If there is an order in place now, like I said, refuse visitation on that basis.  At the end of it, 12 and 14 year olds will have a say.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)