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to file or not to file for a midification of child care portion of child support

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies

My son's father pays his assigned child support plus 50 % of our expenses for child care while I work. My son is 5 and he is 100 % with me.

Since this August, the child care portion was reduced from $880 per month (his former preschool) to $460 for his Kinder morning and after school care. That would mean that his father was going to be paying $230 per month fpr child care as opposed to the $440 he did before. I was going to file for a modification to redieced his fees since my son was at public kinder.

well things chnaged. My son was suffeting from anxiety on top of his ODD and we saw an opening in his former school so I moved him to kinder at the same place where he did preschool.It is only for 12 kids so the environment is more appropriate for my son's needs.

His father was verbally told about this and he said "his mind wasn't focusing on doing the Math".

So I decided not to file for a modification since I was going to pay for one more year 880 per month for private kinder.

Now on top of this, I was offered a seasonal job that looks very well on my resume but the hours are in the evening for 5 hours per week. it means that i have to pay a nanny for 6 hours per week. Normally when I get jobs like this, I file to add those extra fees to my son's 50 % of child care . I will be spending $384 on monthly child cre until january and his portion would be $192. I know, 192 does not seem much but 384 on my salary does feel like a lot.

My fear is that if I file, father may question why we go to private school when he can go to public.

we can have our dr write a statement but I don't know if it will help

would you file for this modification? would you wait until January in case this job continues?

what would you do?

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 7, 2016 at 6:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2016 at 6:16 PM

BUMP!

cjsmom1
by Group Admin on Sep. 7, 2016 at 8:40 PM
I would wait to file. Your ex might push that your son can go to public school and fight for a reduction in cs
Theresa1209
by on Sep. 7, 2016 at 8:43 PM
Have you just asked him if he would ne willing?
Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 10:18 PM
I don't see why he should pay half for ur nanny for the second job. As far as the private K I would ask him first. Why doesn't he see the child at all?
Elle.tea.22
by Bronze Member on Sep. 7, 2016 at 10:21 PM
This. You want a second job? It isn't his job to subsidize childcare for your wants. Talk to him. Lay out all the options and see where he will meet you with them. Don't be sneaky.

Quoting Oliviasmom72: I don't see why he should pay half for ur nanny for the second job. As far as the private K I would ask him first. Why doesn't he see the child at all?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 7, 2016 at 11:46 PM
He has the right to opt for public school and will not be held financially responsible if you choose private. It is a choice you are making on your own, therefore you are solely responsible for tuition.

Same is the case in your personal life. If you are choosing to make changes, then it is not fair to hold him financially responsible.

Many states are doing away with child support and granting 50/50 custody. Too many times the man is held responsible for what BM "wants" for herself. Continued education may provide a better life for your child, but you are the one who is responsible for obtaining that. Not your ex.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 8, 2016 at 1:29 AM
He has visitation , not custody and he never cared to use his visitation time . Kid is 5. They spent an hour together in 5 years

Quoting Oliviasmom72: I don't see why he should pay half for ur nanny for the second job. As far as the private K I would ask him first. Why doesn't he see the child at all?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 8, 2016 at 1:32 AM
I'm not being sneaky at all. He knows about my son staying in private . He knows about my second job and he knows that me making an extra $800 per month doesn't mean that he can lower child support because I need to pay someone to watch my son during those 6 extra hours per week

Quoting Elle.tea.22: This. You want a second job? It isn't his job to subsidize childcare for your wants. Talk to him. Lay out all the options and see where he will meet you with them. Don't be sneaky.

Quoting Oliviasmom72: I don't see why he should pay half for ur nanny for the second job. As far as the private K I would ask him first. Why doesn't he see the child at all?
krisnkids
by Gold Member on Sep. 8, 2016 at 8:16 AM

Sure you can file. And depending on your state, the child support may actually go down. For the states that are just a percentage of ncp's income it won't matter. But for the states that are based off of both parents' income, they will include your second job income. Careful of what you wish for.

Elle.tea.22
by Bronze Member on Sep. 8, 2016 at 8:25 AM
It sounds to me like he would benefit from just giving you the money instead of paying for you someone else to watch your child while you go make more sense he still going to end up subsidizing your childcare. So for you to make more money he had to shell out more money?

Quoting Anonymous 1: I'm not being sneaky at all. He knows about my son staying in private . He knows about my second job and he knows that me making an extra $800 per month doesn't mean that he can lower child support because I need to pay someone to watch my son during those 6 extra hours per week

Quoting Elle.tea.22: This. You want a second job? It isn't his job to subsidize childcare for your wants. Talk to him. Lay out all the options and see where he will meet you with them. Don't be sneaky.

Quoting Oliviasmom72: I don't see why he should pay half for ur nanny for the second job. As far as the private K I would ask him first. Why doesn't he see the child at all?
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