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Dating and feeling guilty

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 4 Replies
So ex and I have been separated about 6months. He moved out but moved in with a coworker so on his days with the kids, hes at my house and leaves when I get home from work. We both work weird schedules and the arrangement we have is working well. Hes mid home purchase and once that is done he can actually have the kids over night.

Dating wise, he moved on very quickly. I started seeing a guy late November but he lives 40min away and works a ton. So between our work schedules its hard for us to get together. Hes come down here for lunch a few times. I went to stay the night but that was a last min thing, my EX mil kept the kids iver night.
I want to see him again but seeing him means having to set up childcare.
And for some reason that makes me feel guilty. Its not like they are aready with their dad and I can do what ever. I actually have to set up care to see someone.

Idk, is this norml feeling like this? What do I do?

And its not like the guy im seeing is pressureing me to come see him, he's actually understanding as I am of him.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 13, 2017 at 10:34 PM
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Replies (1-4):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 14, 2017 at 9:48 PM

bump!

ame4c
by Group Admin on Jan. 14, 2017 at 10:53 PM
Yes it's fairly normal. I saw my DH only on the weekends when my kids went to their dad's (which wasn't often because my x refused to take my son most of the time). After we dated for about 6 months and I knew the relationship was going to be more than just a fling, We would date with the kiddos. He was raising his son on his own too so he understood single parent hood very well.
Emjay
by on Jan. 16, 2017 at 9:28 AM

Are you feeling guilty about childcare or the guilt of dating in general?

It honestly took me a while to rid of the dating guilt despite the ex had moved on with the mistress.

The guilt I felt towards needing a sitter for me to date was added to the fact that I never had sitters for my kids. If we couldn't do things as a family, we didn't do them and it took a toll on my ability to move on. 

Don't do anything you're not ready to do but also realize that you deserve to find your new happy too and that may mean at the expense of some childcare until you're at a place to introduce that part of your life with one another.

luckyinlife
by on Jan. 17, 2017 at 11:15 AM
It really sucks how men can bounce out of one relationship and right into another with no guilt and little social pressure, while women can't. Just remind yourself that your kid is happy, healthy and well cared for. Its OK to take time out for you :-)
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