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No idea what I'm doing!

Posted by on Sep. 24, 2017 at 2:18 PM
  • 8 Replies
My daughter is about to be 6 months old this week. I have a child support hearing this week as well. I don't have a clue how these things go, and I'm super nervous. Her father hasn't seen her since she was three months, but I try to get him to come see her all the time. He just doesn't seem interested in being involved at all. Help!
by on Sep. 24, 2017 at 2:18 PM
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Replies (1-8):
zboys
by Member on Sep. 24, 2017 at 5:23 PM

Unfortunately, you can't make him be interested.  As far as child support hearing, I don't know anything about that.  My divorce to my ex was finalized last mid-March and my kids are all young adults, so I didn't have to apply for child support.  

Hopefully, someone else has something more encouraging to say.  HUGS

virginiamama71
by Carrie on Sep. 24, 2017 at 5:40 PM
You can't make him be there and when he decides to be there let him be a father and don't pick at petty stuff.
Oliviasmom72
by Gold Member on Sep. 25, 2017 at 10:03 AM

Just try to remain civil and save all correspondence with Dad. You cannot make him be an involved Dad. Ask for child support and day care expenses. Good luck

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Sep. 25, 2017 at 3:39 PM

I think a lot of men are just not that into babies, even their own.  They don't have any experience with them and feel like they have no idea how to handle a baby.

As for child support . . . I hope you have an attorney.  You need to make sure you are fairly represented in court by someone who understands the law.

Good luck!


cjsmom1
by Group Admin on Sep. 25, 2017 at 8:04 PM
1 mom liked this

You can't force him to be there. Child support will be based on both of your incomes. Get a custody agreement with set visitations. If he chooses not take take his visitations document it.

amonkeymom
by Platinum Member on Sep. 25, 2017 at 8:17 PM

Aww, little cutie! 

Make sure you have documentation of the times you've offered visitation and he's declined. You probably won't need it for support, but you might need it further down the road.

Good luck at your hearing!

ivf_blessed
by Bronze Member on Sep. 26, 2017 at 2:41 PM

As the father, he may not want to get the chance to know his child (and that is a shame) but he should be financially responsible for her.  Do you have a lawyer?  A legal custody agreement?

Child support is a formula based on each parent's income. It also takes into consideration who carries the insurance & that cost as well as the amount of physical custody each parent has (which is why I ask if there is a custody agreement in place).

Other things you might consider:

1/2 medical/dental expenses incurred including or outside the premiums

1/2 reasonable school & extra-curricular activities expenses

Of course at her age, this doesn't mean much with the school/extra-curr but as they get older, these expenses can add up.

There is also consideration of child care expenses in relation to your work schedule, especially if you have full phyiscal custody.

I am not saying you will be granted any of the extras but it doesn't hurt to keep these in mind and try to work out an agreement.  Hopefully he will come around and choose to be a part of her life. 

Good luck!


deltathree
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2017 at 3:25 PM
How did it go? I hope it was very fair for you.
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