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Need advice on living situation

Posted by on Nov. 24, 2017 at 10:50 AM
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Hello, I currently have a interstate court custody agreement with my child's dad. He lives in Lubbock, TX & I live in New Orleans, LA. To make a long story short, the way this happened is I was living with him & his family in Flower Mound, TX up until our child was 17 months. On 5/26/14 I flew down with my daughter to visit family in New Orleans for 2 weeks & he broke up with my while I was down here. We have already gone through final orders in court and have  a visitation arangement where he gets her every other holiday on certain holidays and 4 weeks split up into 2 week periods during summer. He has the option of flying her in or coming to get her one weekend per month but he doesn't do that.

Not long after our final orders hearing he moved to Lubbock to go to school to get his masters in Art... He says he will be done May 2018. I am faced with a decision I have to make soon. My daughter has court ordered geographical restrictions where she can only live in Louisiana or Texas. So, right now I can't move out of either of those 2 states. She will be starting Elementary school next August 2018. Between now & then I have to figure out where I want to move to, research schools for her, get a job wherever I want to move to, and find a place to live. The thing is he has been mentioning moving out of Texas a lot recently. If he does this then I would like to take him back to court for a modification to lift the geographical restrictions on my daughter & I so we have the option of moving to another state besides TX & LA as well. It is ordered that after she turns 5 years old, that he has to fly her to see him. So, I feel like why should it matter where she's living at that point. Right now we each drive 4.5 hours and meet in Natchitoches, LA to drop her off/pick her up. 

So, my dilemma is that I don't know if I should move back to Texas or move to another part of Louisiana (I dislike living in Nola, I grew up here & the city sucks). I don't really want to live in TX either, but it is the better of the 2 states to live. If I move to TX & he moves out of TX then I could be stuck in TX or the judge may see it as I moved closer to facilitate his relationship with his child & compromising with him, but then he left the state & could life our geographical restrictions. Or I could end up stuck there. But, if I stay here then I will be in a state where the goverment is corrupt & it's so hard for single moms to get any kind of help. You have to jump through so many hoops just to get childcare assitance. Plus the education & school systems are poor in Louisiana. But, then again Louisiana is less expensive to live in than TX.

Right now I make less than $25,000 a year. Wokring on changing that though. Ideally, I would like to buy a small cheap 2 bedroom 1 bath house for me & my child. But, I know I may not be able to afford this for a while so an apartment of this size may have to suffice until I get enough money to do it. Can anyone give me a list of some good places to live in Texas or Louisiana for single moms with good schools, low crime, good job market, etc?

Can you give me advice on if I should wait him out until after next May to see if he moves out of TX? Problem is that would leave me with only 3 months left to find a job, a place to live, & a school to get my child into. So, I know I really need to make the move way before May regardless of what he's going to do. What's my best bet, staying in LA, but just moving to another part of LA or moving to TX & see what happens?

Sorry this was so long. Your advise is appreciated.

Thanks,

Ashley









by on Nov. 24, 2017 at 10:50 AM
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Replies (1-5):
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Nov. 24, 2017 at 11:07 AM
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I don't know about the areas but wherever we choose to live our education, type of work, number of years experience determines our income.

amonkeymom
by Platinum Member on Nov. 25, 2017 at 10:41 AM
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No advice, but wishing you luck.

Oliviasmom72
by Gold Member on Nov. 25, 2017 at 11:10 PM
1 mom liked this
Well TX seems to have a lot of opportunity. I would probably move there If you don’t like Nola. Dad doesn’t get to move wherever he wants and then force you to stay. Worry about that when the time comes. You need to do what’s best for you and the kids.
ame4c
by Group Admin on Dec. 1, 2017 at 9:22 PM

Have you discussed this with Dad? Because he maybe willing to lift the restriction and it might be pretty easy. Now he could be an ass and not work with you, but it doesn't hurt to ask, especially if he is thinking of moving out of TX anyway.  You might even find that he wants to move somewhere where it would be good for you to move as well, then your daughter would benefit greatly from that cooperation. You guys don't have to be best friends but working this out so your kid is happier is the best thing to do.

Valentina327
by on Dec. 1, 2017 at 9:29 PM
I'd ask the father now what his plans are and to lift the restriction since he's planning to leave TX anyway.

Is there somewhere you're thinking about going in particular?
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