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Single Parent needs advice

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I am a mother of a 9 month old baby boy. I am currently 8 months pregnant with my second child. The father is around,but I moved out due to lack of help on his behalf. I dont want to be bitter, I would like to be a family. Here's the thing, he says he can't handle another child at the moment. I just feel like when the baby arrives if he can't be a father to both, I don't want no dealings with him. Also, I've hidden this pregnancy from family. I'm ashamed that I'm in this alone.
Needs advice
by on Nov. 25, 2017 at 12:22 PM
Replies (11-15):
by on Nov. 28, 2017 at 8:43 PM
1 mom liked this

Hey sweetie...ashamed??  Choose to live unashamed...every life is precious and you and your children are priceless.  Though you may not be receiving the support you would like, know that you are not alone.  The days ahead may seem weary because they're still unknown, but know that you can get through this.  It may be a good idea to speak to your family & maybe they'll be able to help you.  When we take responsibility for our actions, it doesn't matter how others will view us.  Our circumstances may not be the best, but it doesn't mean that we're bad and undeserving of love and support.  Blessings and love to you and your little ones! :-)

by Group Admin on Dec. 1, 2017 at 9:15 PM

Life often throws us curves. No matter how a baby is created it is a gift from God. How wonderful it is that he has blessed you with 2! People will always judge and try to make you ashamed, but hold your head high and know you have these 2 beautiful babies that God has trusted you to raise.  You don't have to be afraid or ashamed of that.  It does often get a bit overwhelming, but know that this is just part of being a mom and it won't go away even after they become adults (I know mine are adults now and man can they still overwhelm me at times).

by Member on Dec. 2, 2017 at 6:50 PM

HUGS TO YOU! Please let your family help you. They might say "I told you so" but you need a support system! File for child support, go to social services in your county and apply for whatever assistance you can get. Is the father working? 

by Member on Dec. 2, 2017 at 11:38 PM

I felt ashamed too, but when I started telling people I've been getting more positive responses than negative ones. The person I was most nervous to tell was my best friend and at first she was like "really think about this Lyzze" but then once she saw that I'm super serious about having my babies (cuz they're twins) then she has been super supportive and like "wow congrats girl theyre so cute!" I was nervous to tell my family too but I live with them and I could only wait so long because I have hyperemesis and I'm glad I told them sooner rather than later because even if they get annoyed with my smells complaints at least they know and I have a whole 5.5 months now for them to get used to it.

by Member on Dec. 2, 2017 at 11:40 PM

Also if you don't feel comfortable asking for child support, don't feel pressured. If that's something you need and want then absolutely do everything you can to get it but if it's a situation where he expected you to have an abortion and you chose to do this because it's what you want don't feel like you need to start a war over money, there are things that are bigger in life than money, as important as it is unfortunately. But again, if that's something you are wanting absolutely go for it because he seems like he's being a butt about this whole thing and kinda deserves to have to pay lol.

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