Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

As a single mom how do you

Posted by   + Show Post
Stay afloat? It’s hard being a single mom especially when it’s just you and only one income, no child support (long story), and very limited babysitters. What kind of jobs do you all do? Do you think you have a good work:life balance?

Me personally I work at a gas station. It’s not ideal, I keep getting scheduled out of my availability and honestly I don’t make enough money. I still live at home with mom with my ds. How do you guys make it work? Sometimes I go days with only seeing my ds long enough to get him ready and off to school in the morning.
by on Dec. 15, 2017 at 12:46 AM
Replies (11-20):
lyzzefrago
by Member on Dec. 19, 2017 at 1:24 AM

I haven't given birth yet so I'm technically not a real "single mom" for another 5 months but since I already have my plan in place I do feel like I can comment. I work as a nanny and a dog sitter and even though I'm not going to be taking any new clients or clients I don't like after the new year I do have some pet clients that I trust to have me bring my babies over when I sit their dog and I get paid REALLY well for it. For my nanny job it's the perfect job because exactly as others said i'll be able to bring the babies with me. I've been taking care of the same kids for 4 years so it's very important to me to stay with them and they also pay me super well, buy me dinner sometimes, give me christmas and birthday gifts, they're just SO generous on top of just being really cool people. I have a little bit of a break because I live with my parents so living expenses are covered for me but I do still have bills like my dogs pet health insurance, my car insurance, my car payment etc. and trust me it adds up and can be stressful so having a job that has allowed me to pay everything and go to school has been amazing. I do plan on continuing to finish my bachelors next fall and my mom says she plans to help me, I'm sure my dad will offer to help too, but I won't know where I got in til March so we'll see if I even get into the schools I need to get into. There's surprisngly a lot more jobs that will allow you to take your kid with you if you need to then you would think honestly :)

anonomomma
by on Dec. 20, 2017 at 10:37 PM
I used my tax return money to pay for a real estate course online and my license. Its a little bit of an investment at first but it paid off in the long run. I can make my schedule as heavy or light as I need and have flexibility.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 20, 2017 at 10:56 PM
I work part time. I do not receive child support.

Have my own house, car, pets etc...

I do everything I want to do.

My parents watch my kids for about 20 min before school.

I found a babysitter in my neighborhood if I need to do something.

I love being a single mom!
Shai4710
by Bronze Member on Dec. 22, 2017 at 12:17 AM

I have a practice but I’m working from home while my kids are on Christmas break.  I love the convenience of picking and choosing my schedule. 

squirrelml
by Member on Dec. 22, 2017 at 2:11 PM

Yep its hard, I used to work two jobs, seen my kid before school and alittle after, then it just got to be too much, cut it back to one job. But in the end, I feel it was worth the hard work. I did have some help from my parents, when they were living. Now my daughter is an adult and handles herself well has a good job. I think if kids see you work hard, its a great learning experience for them. Its rough at first but in the long run, I put my kid first always, if I had to go without something, so my kid could have a roof over her head and a meal in her tummy I did whatever it took. Think of it as an investment, to the future. I love my adult child dearly. Now I'm semi retired, and she's taking care of me.

CorpCityGrl
by Member on Dec. 22, 2017 at 2:19 PM

Yup, it's hard and can be overwhelming.

I have a pretty good work/life balance now. I worked corporate finance for a long time and was always working. I barely saw DD and I was always made to feel bad about prioritizing my family and was stressed and sick. Not too long ago, I chose to enter into the non-profit realm for a job much closer to home. It required my taking a $30K pay cut but it was the sacrifice I was willing to make to be closer when needed and to learn the sector. I eventually got this job, which is for one of the top private schools in the country and it's flexible and matched my old corporate salary. Since I live in NYC though, COL is incredibly high so we pinch pennies. I don't get CS from STBX but we co-parent well together and he pays for all of DD's extras.

Luckily, I have family that lives close by and we found an amazing babysitter. With more flexible schedules between STBX and I and family and the babysitter, we make it work....it can be a challenge overall but I just make due.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 23, 2017 at 3:14 PM

Well, the first time I was a single mom I got a job as a bather, working at Petco, bathing dogs. It was ok pay, but the plan was to work up to being a groomer. I had to move away from everyone I knew to get the job and i struggled a lot. I had to get food stamps and Medicaid. After 6 months there, I got fired because I kept having car problems and daycare issues. Then I got hired at Petsmart as a bather, unfortunately that was only part time til I could be trained as a groomer. (I couldn't get another job because my schedule kept changing) I struggled a hell of a lot and got daycare assistance to add on to my state help, but at least it made it easier. I had some help from my brother with my rent payments. I then found out I was pregnant. Kept working and started training as a groomer.

Eventually I was living with my second child's dad, we tried dating for a year and a half and it just didn't work out. I was grooming dogs, but then started staying home with the kids. So then I had to find new work. My exs mom helped me buy a grooming salon, I worked 3 years to pay her back. Now that salon is all mine. 'During the time that I was trying to pay off the salon I was a single mom but it wasn't too bad, I was able to pay my bills fairly well. At one point I was easily able to afford rent, a new car, everything for my kids, daycare, etc. I'm now remarried though so its even easier and the salon provides me a very good income. If you like dogs, you might look in to dog grooming. I enjoy it but it is hard on my back. I have back issues from before I started grooming though. It took a lot of work but I'm very proud of where I am at. I know I had some help that others may not and I am very thanful for that.

cjsmom1
by Group Admin on Dec. 24, 2017 at 9:28 AM
I work 2 jobs in order to pay the bills. Now ds is 12 so I don't have to worry about a babysitter. Before his dad, my mom, or my siblings would watch him. My siblings lived with me rent free so I knew someone would be home for ds.
Boileremily
by Member on Dec. 24, 2017 at 1:42 PM

Asunshine, how are you doing today? I have to say that I'm like you in a way but I'm also working FT and going to School FT! I have our home but I'm still trying to cope and adjust to it and how did you go about it? May we be friends and also chat?

Take care have a great day and I hope that you and your Family have a Merry Christmas,

Emily


Elle.tea.22
by Bronze Member on Dec. 25, 2017 at 5:27 PM
1 mom liked this
I was ready for kids before I had them. I was a self sustaining adult with a house before I married (25) and had savings and investments, didn't have kids till I was at a point in life i could afford my lifestyle and kids on my own (because that's how I was raised, life throws curve balls sometimes and I refuse to depend on someone else).

So now I'm alone and I still have my house, my apartment from before is paid off and now income, nothing changed other than he's not here. I still take vacations every year, kids still in the same school and get all their needs met, and some wants, and I don't get child support or alimony. He affords his own time and I afford mine.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)