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Ex's girlfriend being mean to my kid!?

Advice needed!


My daughter(6) keeps coming home from my ex's house complaining that her dad's girlfriend is mean to her and yells at her. She said when she's not being mean, she's completely ignoring her. This is the 4th time she's come home saying this. She actually tried to take a video with her (kids) smart watch and only got a couple seconds of her dad saying "AND IF YOU TELL MOMMY...." and that was it. When I asked her why he said that she said that she told him she was going to tell me that his girlfriend was being mean to her. What should I do? On one hand, I want to say something to my ex AND his girlfriend, but on another I kind of just want to teach my kid to take better videos so I have concrete proof! This isn't the first time that my ex has attempted to coach my daughter to lie to me... 

by on Dec. 28, 2017 at 9:16 AM
Replies (11-18):
strawberrylibra
by Member on Dec. 29, 2017 at 9:24 AM

I am obviously not there, so I don't know

Quoting virginiamama71: How is she mean? Is it because she says no to something that you and her father say yes to? Does she have other children that have her attention or just not interested in being around her every minute and this is why she feels she is being ignored ?
Quoting strawberrylibra:

Thank you everybody for the replies! Sadly, whenever I try to talk or confront him about things, he lies. He is extremely toxic and will start yelling at me/ trying to put me down.That is why I was hesitating, because it never gets anywhere. He gets defensive and tries to turn everything around on me unfortunately, however, maybe if I say something he will put a stop to it..


virginiamama71
by Carrie on Dec. 29, 2017 at 9:28 AM
Your daughter can talk. Ask her.


Quoting strawberrylibra:

I am obviously not there, so I don't know

Quoting virginiamama71: How is she mean?

Is it because she says no to something that you and her father say yes to?

Does she have other children that have her attention or just not interested in being around her every minute and this is why she feels she is being ignored ?




Quoting strawberrylibra:

Thank you everybody for the replies! Sadly, whenever I try to talk or confront him about things, he lies. He is extremely toxic and will start yelling at me/ trying to put me down.That is why I was hesitating, because it never gets anywhere. He gets defensive and tries to turn everything around on me unfortunately, however, maybe if I say something he will put a stop to it..

Curlymom234
by on Dec. 29, 2017 at 9:31 AM
Talk to dad. That’s not acceptable
Shai4710
by Bronze Member on Dec. 30, 2017 at 1:16 AM

I would be nipping that in the bud now!  Her father should be dumping the broad instead of telling he kid to be quiet. 

loquaciousred
by on Dec. 30, 2017 at 2:13 AM
Email or text so he either has to be polite or you can use it against him.

Id say "dd is saying that your girlfriend is being mean to her and yelling. When she's told you about it you tell her she can't tell me. This is a problem. Our daughter should feel at home at both of our houses and shouldn't be told to keep secrets from either of her parents. There is no reason for your girlfriend to be overly mean to dd. Please talk to her. Dd loves you and wants to spend time with you...i don't want her to change because of this. I don't think it's too much to ask for us to work together for dds sake."

Quoting strawberrylibra:

Thank you everybody for the replies! Sadly, whenever I try to talk or confront him about things, he lies. He is extremely toxic and will start yelling at me/ trying to put me down.That is why I was hesitating, because it never gets anywhere. He gets defensive and tries to turn everything around on me unfortunately, however, maybe if I say something he will put a stop to it..

soccer711
by on Dec. 30, 2017 at 8:52 AM
I've been there with my daughter and my ex's ex-gf. Unfortunately, my bringing it up to him didn't work and when the psycho B pushed my daughter out into the middle of our street, he twisted it around to try to make me look crazy and like a liar. Needless to say, there's a restraining order and an endangering the welfare of a child (my daughter was 5 at the time) against her. Luckily, they're broken up and the woman he's presently with and engaged to is very good for my daughter. My daughter can't wait to have stepsisters and be an aunt to their kids!!!
cjsmom1
by Group Admin on Dec. 30, 2017 at 10:26 AM
I'd get something for her to record it with that way you can have proof. Don't tell your ex about the recording. Once you have proof e-mail your ex and say that you're concerned about how his gf treats your dd. State that she should feel safe in both homes and his gf yelling at her is an issue. Then take him to court to modify the custody agreement
NHOPE127
by on Dec. 31, 2017 at 10:21 AM

I'm so sorry your daughter has to go through this. It is really hard when the mother and father can't have an open and honest conversation.  I have the same issues with my ex and I hate that our son is stuck in the middle. However, I have tried talking with a mediator, we have our Pastor and his wife involved in serious discussions. And I have also sent e-mails just to try and keep it non-threatening.  Hope this helps.  Don't quit trying for your daughter's sake.  Keep hope!

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