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I didn’t choose to be a single mom.

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2018 at 4:21 PM
  • 15 Replies
2 moms liked this
I hate the stigma attached to single moms. Just because you’re a single mom, you’re often viewed as some irresponsible slut who got knocked up and use the baby daddy for money. I hate it. I was married to my children’s father. We both wanted the two kids. We both decided to have the two kids. We both planned to be a family forever. At least that’s what he said. But what he did was cheat on me when I was having our second child. Still I tried for the sake of my kids to work it out. You know what? He left me. He left me because I couldn’t “get over” what he did. Maybe because his attitude was literally, “you just need to get over it and forgive me.” It doesn’t matter. The point is, I did not choose to be a single mother. I did all the things I should have done. I was a good wife and mother. My only mistake was trusting a man I shouldn’t have. Even one of my ex boyfriends once told me when I made a complaint about being a single mom, “Well that’s what you chose.” Like I was playing some sort of victim. While I didn’t choose this life, and I hate the stigma attached to it, I will say I do believe it’s made my kids and I closer than we ever would have been otherwise and for that I’m thankful. Just my thoughts.
by on Feb. 5, 2018 at 4:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 5, 2018 at 6:12 PM
4 moms liked this
I'm proud to be a single mom. Anyone who would neglect their kids doesn't deserve parental rights. I only choose to be surrounded by people who support me. I personally wouldn't worry about what others think. Be a proud mom and take care of your babies.
alexsmommy51405
by Member on Feb. 5, 2018 at 6:16 PM
1 mom liked this
I did. I chose this life. I didn't get knocked up by a bunch of guys. Just my ex husband. Then he started his trip down alcohol lane and I left.
I get it though. We do and we don't choose to be single moms.
dream_Dangerous
by Member on Feb. 5, 2018 at 6:53 PM
1 mom liked this
You chose a better life for you and yours and you make a great point. Even though you chose it, it doesn’t make you less of a Mom. Thanks for sharing!

Quoting alexsmommy51405: I did. I chose this life. I didn't get knocked up by a bunch of guys. Just my ex husband. Then he started his trip down alcohol lane and I left.
I get it though. We do and we don't choose to be single moms.
Shamrockshake
by on Feb. 5, 2018 at 7:33 PM
1 mom liked this

I really am glad the guy I had sex with decided to have nothing to do with my baby girl. He is the one missing out. I know it is going to be hard but I also know I am determned to work my ass off everyday for my little girl and that is what I am doing. I also know I get looks from peoplewho are saying things under there breath like look at that young teen mom screwing up that poor babies life. I am living my life to prove everyone of those people wrong.

CorpCityGrl
by Member on Feb. 6, 2018 at 1:46 PM
1 mom liked this

I get it. I was similar to you. STBX and I dated for a long time, got married, married for a few years, decided to have a child and he cheated several times. My plan was never to be a single parent but it was the best decision for us overall. Even STBX will say he did not choose to be a single parent but he screwed up. 

It's rare for me to get backlash, but every once in a while I hear it and I generally ignore it. People have no idea what brought me to this stage in my life so they can't really judge. If I had my way, NO I would not be a single parent but it's life and I do the best that I can. 

deltathree
by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2018 at 7:21 PM
1 mom liked this

hugging

I have the same story.  I hear you.  Try to let the judgy ppl go.  I'm sorry.  Hugs.

Oliviasmom72
by Gold Member on Feb. 7, 2018 at 10:40 AM

There is a stigma for a reason and it up to each woman to counter it.

We didnt choose to be signle moms, but I dont get it when a woman says this, and yet was not married to the father or in any type of relationship. Some women choose this. If you get pregnant unmarried, you choose this. I hate it when some women say this.

I am divorced and I take full responsbility for actions in the past, both good and bad.

randi1978
by Murdoc's Mistress on Feb. 8, 2018 at 8:40 AM
1 mom liked this

The stigma is there because we always hear about someone who knows someone who fits the stereotype of gobs of kids, different dads, welfare and thinking everyone should kiss her feet because she's "doin' it on her own".

I quit giving a shit about what others thought of me years ago.

AmaliaD
by on Feb. 8, 2018 at 8:43 AM
2 moms liked this
As a teacher I can tell you that every group is judged by their lowest member. You don’t need to care.
happyonislands
by on Feb. 9, 2018 at 5:26 PM
1 mom liked this

I understand how you feel.  Unfortunately, there are many stigmas attached to single parents.  However, single moms have to be strong for their children and for everyone else.  You are a wonderful mom and person.  Continue to focus on the positive things in life (healthy children, you're healthy, great job, etc.).  Keep it up!  You are awesome!

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